What to Do with Kids in Your Missional Community
Kids are great! But sometimes when all together, things can feel hectic and distracted. One of the most common questions we hear connected to this is, “What do you do with kids in your missional community? How do you handle them, what types of activities do you do for them, etc.?”
In this episode of the Everyday Disciple Podcast, we’ll help you solve this and give you a bunch of ideas on how to include your kids on mission.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- How life in a missional community with kids actually mirrors the rest of your life.
- Why kids are vital to the mission and can be a “secret weapon” for you.
- Why a true missional community and lifestyle can never be jammed into a single evening each week.
- 7 easy and practical ways to include your kids in your missional community
Kids are part of your family and an important part of your missional community. They are not just an annoyance or people to be entertained. Healthy families have people of all ages involved in important ways and together display what the kingdom of God is like.
We want you to have the tools, confidence and encouragement you need to have a healthy family and vibrant life in missional community. A lifestyle of discipleship and mission. Check out a rare opportunity to join Caesar, and his wife Tina, and see what this really looks like, and learn for yourself how to live and replicate this missional lifestyle.
Each week the Big 3 will give you immediate action steps to get you started.
Download today’s BIG 3 right now. Read and think over them again later. You might even want to share them with others…
Thanks for Listening!
Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Join us on Facebook and take part in the discussion!
If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of this page or right below.
Also, please subscribe and leave an honest review for The Everyday Disciple Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.
Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Coaching with Caesar and Tina in discipleship and missional living.
Discipleship and Missional Resources
Transcript
I'll say as well, what do you currently do with your kids in your normal family life?
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and that kind of, it's confusing.
Caesar Kalinowski:I have probably right off the bat, everybody's like, what mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm like, you're asking me what do I do with kids in missional community?
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm saying, well, what do you do with your kids in normal family life?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so, you know, Some of your answers might be something like, well, we eat together.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, we, we do chores.
Caesar Kalinowski:We, we play games.
Caesar Kalinowski:We, we learn stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:We have fun.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:We fight, we make up, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, exactly.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's exactly what you do with kids in a missional.
Caesar Kalinowski:All those same things are how and when true discipleship happens.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's a lifestyle.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's in the rhythms of normal life.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so your community life can and should include all those same things, and kids fit right in to most of that at all the same times.
Heath Hollensbe:Welcome to the Everyday Disciple Podcast, where you'll learn how to live with greater intentionality and an integrated faith.
Heath Hollensbe:That naturally fits into every area of life.
Heath Hollensbe:In other words, discipleship as a lifestyle.
Heath Hollensbe:This is the stuff your parents, pastors and seminary professors probably forgot to tell you.
Heath Hollensbe:And now here's your host, Caesar.
Heath Hollensbe:Kalinowski.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, Heath, I'm excited to be here today, brother.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, me too, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:Kind of part three of our deeper dive into lifestyle, discipleship, and mission and all that stuff.
Heath Hollensbe:I know it's a beautiful day outside.
Heath Hollensbe:I just kind of want to go out and hang out with the neighbors.
Caesar Kalinowski:It'd be great if we could smoke some cigars out there maybe, huh?
Caesar Kalinowski:Tonight.
Caesar Kalinowski:Boom.
Heath Hollensbe:Imagine that.
Heath Hollensbe:Hey, so yeah, like you said, we're in the middle of this little micro three week.
Heath Hollensbe:Thing on small groups and Missional communities and lifestyle of discipleship.
Heath Hollensbe:Today we're talking about kids.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, that's fun.
Heath Hollensbe:Like kids are such a joy and they're so much fun.
Heath Hollensbe:Oh gosh.
Heath Hollensbe:And we should value them in our small groups, in our Missional
Caesar Kalinowski:communities.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Instead of just tolerate
Caesar Kalinowski:' Heath Hollensbe: em.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:But a lot of times people are asking like, what do you do with them?
Caesar Kalinowski:How do you handle 'em?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like what activities do you do for 'em?
Caesar Kalinowski:Because they drive us nuts are they get in the way of us trying to have our Bible study.
Caesar Kalinowski:So is what are you, are you getting at your kids or driving you nuts again in your missional community?
Heath Hollensbe:Well, I, we started a missional Community, um, about a year ago.
Heath Hollensbe:And that was a common thing is like, well maybe we just get a babysitter and see, put them at a different
Caesar Kalinowski:house so they don't bug us.
Caesar Kalinowski:So you're gonna get, you're gonna get.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like kicking the tail here today.
Caesar Kalinowski:Just, you shouldn't have said that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Even I'm gonna go after, don't go after me.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, I know a lot of folks have missional communities and they're exploding with kids.
Caesar Kalinowski:I remember this one community, and they were really vibrant, but like, they were like six or eight couples, but they had like 23 kids between them.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so they were just, everything they did was like, they needed to rent a bus.
Caesar Kalinowski:It was just awesome.
Caesar Kalinowski:But anyway, that is so fun.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we're gonna, we're gonna talk all about that.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right,
Heath Hollensbe:well, let's jump into it.
Heath Hollensbe:What do you do with kids in a Missional Community because oftentimes they are seen as a nuisance or in the way of what's going on.
Heath Hollensbe:No one wants to say
Caesar Kalinowski:it.
Caesar Kalinowski:No one wants to admit that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:They're interrupting.
Heath Hollensbe:They're like, like we're trying to study and you keep interrupting
Caesar Kalinowski:me and Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we shove 'em in the basement and we hire a teenager, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Get 'em out of where we're at.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uhhuh.
Caesar Kalinowski:What do you say?
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna start out here and say the church is a family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's baseline always has been.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's vital that we learn how to include everyone in the family in the mission that God's called us to.
Caesar Kalinowski:So even, or maybe even especially our kids.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, My answer to like, what do you do with kids?
Caesar Kalinowski:I usually start off with a few questions because I get asked that question a lot.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:I mean a whole lot.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we weren't alone.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:We train people all over, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And they're like, this thing's starting to go, but what do you do with your kids?
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yes.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so I usually, I start off with three questions.
Caesar Kalinowski:First question I'll say is, well, what do you currently do with your kids in your normal family life?
Caesar Kalinowski:And that kind of, it's confusing.
Caesar Kalinowski:I have probably right off the bat, everybody's like, what?
Caesar Kalinowski:What do you mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm like, you're asking me what do we do with kids in missional community?
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm saying, well, what do you do with your kids in normal family life?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so, you know, some of your answers might be something like, well, we eat together.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, we, we do chores.
Caesar Kalinowski:We, we play games.
Caesar Kalinowski:We, we learn stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:We have fun.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:We fight, we make up, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, exactly.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's exactly what you do with kids.
Caesar Kalinowski:In initial, all those same things are how and when true discipleship happens.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's a lifestyle.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's in the rhythms of normal life.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so your community life can and should include all those same things and kids fit right in to most of that at all the same times.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't kick 'em out what you're doing.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Here's my second question.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, do you, I'll ask people when they say, what do you doing kids, you know, it's like, do you consider your kids part of the community or do you want them to feel that they are.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And their answer is always, of course.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:So if Christians continue to silo their kids off, like into kids class or youth groups, until they become young adults, they're, they're never gonna feel like they're part of the church.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And part of its mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Think about that.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I think this is a big contributing factor to the huge fall off from church participation when kids go to college.
Caesar Kalinowski:Think about it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:They've always been siloed off into kids' class and then, This, and then middle school, then high school, and then they go off to college and they come back and like, I don't know any of these people.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's not my pastor.
Caesar Kalinowski:My pastor was a youth guy.
Caesar Kalinowski:Of course, those change every 14 months on the national average.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so, you know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:So I don't know anybody here.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so we never made 'em part of the church.
Caesar Kalinowski:We saw 'em off so they don't.
Caesar Kalinowski:So living in integrated life is key.
Caesar Kalinowski:Our children, they're not a nuisance and they need to be included in the normal everyday rhythms of a life lived on mission if we ever want them to continue on.
Caesar Kalinowski:With a strong and integrated faith.
Caesar Kalinowski:Think
Caesar Kalinowski:about
Heath Hollensbe:it.
Heath Hollensbe:That's actually causing me to think about like in the church I currently serve in like restructuring some stuff.
Heath Hollensbe:Cuz we have the cry room, which is they watch on a TV and there's a glass wall so that they don't.
Heath Hollensbe:They don't make noise while we're trying to learn what the pastor's saying.
Heath Hollensbe:It's like gone now, even hearing
Caesar Kalinowski:you talk like that.
Caesar Kalinowski:And they're gonna go to like the seeds thing and they're gonna go to the next thing and they're always gonna be siloed off apart from it.
Caesar Kalinowski:But then, so somehow magically at a, at a birthday or you know, at a graduation, they're gonna go.
Caesar Kalinowski:And now you're part of that group of people that you've never met.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's your elder, that's your pastor.
Caesar Kalinowski:No, no, it's not.
Caesar Kalinowski:I never met him.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:I never had a meal with that person.
Caesar Kalinowski:How could I, how I, but no, you have to submit to that person.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, it's like, that's, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so we kind of, we do that and then we wonder like, oh, how I somehow magically, I just want my kids to have this really integrated faith that we've never achieved.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:How, how Well how's that gonna, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:So that's why I asked that questions.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's good.
Caesar Kalinowski:Do you want your kids to feel like part of the group that make 'em part of the group?
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it might be noisy and it might be messy.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Third question.
Caesar Kalinowski:And this is like the one I'm this why Ima spank you.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, I ask people like, what do you do with your kids in a Missional Community?
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and I'll say, are you trying to do quote Missional Community in a single night each week?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:See, this is often the hidden problem, lurking behind the question.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:It really is.
Caesar Kalinowski:Makes sense.
Caesar Kalinowski:As soon as they say that, it's almost like code for like, Our Missional Community is a weekly needing, and our kids are driving us nuts.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay?
Heath Hollensbe:So the one time you gather and the kids are driving you nuts.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:You're not gathering more than
Caesar Kalinowski:once, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, so, so just like we can never properly parent our kids in a single night each week, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Think about that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like when do you parent your kids?
Caesar Kalinowski:Tuesday night.
Caesar Kalinowski:What about the other six nights?
Caesar Kalinowski:They're crazy.
Caesar Kalinowski:They're off the wall, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, Missional Community life can't be jammed into a few hours on a weeknight.
Caesar Kalinowski:And we're gonna need to have weekly rhythms.
Caesar Kalinowski:We talked about that in last episode.
Caesar Kalinowski:1 23.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Talked about up in out rhythms.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like how to pick some real basic ones, but make 'em predictable.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so we're gonna have to have weekly rhythms that include folks at all different points in their spiritual journey and in the relational continuum.
Caesar Kalinowski:And kids are no different than that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:So what are some of the activities that we're doing throughout the week as a community together that are maybe more.
Caesar Kalinowski:Slanted towards the kids in this thing, but over here, that one's not as slanted towards the kids.
Caesar Kalinowski:So guess what that is Adult time.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:See, but when you're trying to jam it all into one night, you can't do that.
Caesar Kalinowski:But if you're not, you're going like, well, family dinner night for the community.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's a dinner.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Kids are here.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's messy.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's loud.
Caesar Kalinowski:You sit where you can eat what you can.
Caesar Kalinowski:Things break.
Caesar Kalinowski:They all help clean up.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, we're going through.
Caesar Kalinowski:The story of God with some neighbors who not yet believe and his adults, that's not time to have the kids maybe, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:But, but you know what?
Caesar Kalinowski:On Saturday we do like clean the park day and the kids love it.
Caesar Kalinowski:And we always do hot dogs afterwards and we, and they get to invite all their friends to come along.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:See what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:Stuff like that.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, um, I, I know many i, I know that many of us have been raised with this idea that our children's spiritual development is handled by proxy.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sort of through Sunday school and youth groups.
Caesar Kalinowski:But old and New Testament writings indicate that parents Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Are to pass down the story and the experience of a, of a vibrant, true Christian faith to their kids, not through children's ministry at your local church.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:I mean, they can help.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:But that's not their job, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:That, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's a bonus.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:But intentionally discipling your own kids.
Caesar Kalinowski:In the normal rhythms of life is where the Gospel comes alive.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:So these questions, man, they are not only clarifying, but they cut really right to the
Caesar Kalinowski:heart of the issue, don't they?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sorry about that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Everybody's listening like, oh, great, I thought you were gonna help me today.
Caesar Kalinowski:Stop picking scabs.
Caesar Kalinowski:But see, like if we don't clear that out of the way though, we're trying to bolt on new rhythms and jam 'em all into one night, or s bifurcate the kids, or you gotta ask those questions first.
Caesar Kalinowski:You gotta ask those questions.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay, so what we discovered that allowed us to live a kingdom sort of heaven come to earth lifestyle is very different than the way we were raised in the church.
Caesar Kalinowski:Seriously?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, for sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:And very differently than how we first started parenting our own children.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sorry kids.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, sorry man.
Caesar Kalinowski:It just wasn't, I mean like I remember I told that story last week about we were kind of living the week to week, Sunday only, and we, we loved our church.
Caesar Kalinowski:It was great, but it wasn't getting it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the kids weren't falling super stoked in love with God and like figuring out how to fit it all into life.
Caesar Kalinowski:They were starting to plan their dream life.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like everybody else.
Caesar Kalinowski:And we're all go to college and how do I get that killer job in it?
Caesar Kalinowski:Who am I gonna date and where's I, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:At best it's
Heath Hollensbe:mediocre like entertainment to get through.
Heath Hollensbe:Uh, while your parents go study somewhere.
Heath Hollensbe:I remember being in a small group when I was, my parents were in a small group when I was a kid, and I was like, yeah, kids would just, we didn't really do anything other than we're corralled away.
Heath Hollensbe:And I didn't know why we were wasting one night of every week going to this thing for my parents to benefit that we never really learned much from, and so
Caesar Kalinowski:that we're supposed to do.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, like I said, that's where, that's kind of how we were stuck in that cycle too.
Heath Hollensbe:So.
Heath Hollensbe:Well, I know you're gonna, uh, here in just a couple minutes, land some tips on us and suggestions.
Heath Hollensbe:Uh, On how we can grow in this area, but how did you and Tina and others in community get to this richer experience of faith and all of life and together in community, including kids and dogs and difficult people?
Heath Hollensbe:What's, what's your story there?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, I, yeah, like I mentioned just a second ago, and last couple episodes,
Caesar Kalinowski:and by the way, if you, if you hadn't heard those, you wanna go back and listen to both of those because Absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:This is sort of, Part three, like we said in the series, and it's all related to lifestyle Disciple mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, what we discovered and and what we developed was, and this is ultimately how we got there and got helped to get our kids there and like now we train this all over.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Is a unique combination of teaching heart transformation and life on life experience that created.
Caesar Kalinowski:A lifestyle apprenticeship.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that, that's, and kids included.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay, sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:So like, this sounds great and like I talked about this last week a little bit, but it's like it's true that lifestyle apprenticeship integrated into all of life, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:It.
Caesar Kalinowski:Your kids, they're, it's all a life man.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:They're in it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And like, and so, and now to have a community to help you Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And reinforce all that.
Caesar Kalinowski:I mean it, you know, it's not just sermons or classroom teaching, but it's learning together with more mature disciples that have kind of mastered a lifestyle of discipleship and mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:I remember when our kids, uh, when we were first starting to live this way and moved to here Tacoma, and the whole Soma thing was starting to take off.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:The coolest thing for my teenage daughters, Instead of now just having to go to the, the Pizza Dew Youth Ministry, I call it Pizza Dew, because like they just have pizza and Mountain Dew every week, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, instead of going to the pizza dew Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, they guess what they got to do now, we didn't have a, we didn't have a youth group program.
Caesar Kalinowski:We were in community.
Caesar Kalinowski:We were just getting started.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:They got to hang out with all these like, young 20 somethings.
Caesar Kalinowski:The gals that were really cool, they thought, wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, you know, they had awesome hair and they'd take 'em out to do nails and take 'em shopping like up in Seattle and they, they're like, Let's see.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hang out with a bunch of kids, 13 and 14, 15 like us, or go hang out with these really cool 20 somethings and they, they got it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:They were living the life.
Caesar Kalinowski:They loved it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:How could you They reinforce what they, reinforced what we said.
Caesar Kalinowski:I remember when Kristen was like 17.
Caesar Kalinowski:She's like, as soon as I turned 18, I'm moving outta the house.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, we're having a bad night.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and literally her, her friends, you know, in the community who are part of our missional community, part of her missional community Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Overheard it and they're like, Are you really like, cuz you turn 18 in a few months, like do you think your parents would like, let me rent the, your room cuz they're freaking awesome and I'd love to, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's fun.
Caesar Kalinowski:It just fixed it, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, so, you know, we developed a new language and, and, and, and it was just sort of, it was life and life and it was, it was weekly and daily.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you know, and like I, I said this last week too, it's like we discovered that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, this, this lifestyle is not only great for us Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and for, you know, raising kids that'll actually have a faith Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:And live this way.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, but it was super attractive to others too.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, people Not yet, not yet believers.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's, it's amazing.
Caesar Kalinowski:We talked a few minutes about,
Heath Hollensbe:uh, ago, about you laying out these tips for what to do with our kids and the rhythms of like a Missional, Community life.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, And I think I got seven.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's a good biblical number.
Caesar Kalinowski:I got seven tips for you.
Caesar Kalinowski:Is that cool?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, go for it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Is that too many?
Caesar Kalinowski:We got time.
Caesar Kalinowski:We got time.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm gonna, I'm gonna kind of jam through 'em just cuz Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because you know there's seven of them and I don't wanna run too late, so.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Here's some super practical ways to include your kids in the life of your Missional Community without going nuts.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Losing your minds.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um.
Caesar Kalinowski:First and some of this like is just me putting, you know, feet, sort of hands and feet to some of the stuff we already just talked about.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, first, here's the first suggestion.
Caesar Kalinowski:Have family times, quote unquote, that are just purely forgetting together as community.
Caesar Kalinowski:And these times don't have to have, you know, have a big agenda.
Caesar Kalinowski:They can be as wild and as fun as you want.
Caesar Kalinowski:Have food, have fun.
Caesar Kalinowski:Maybe have a small object lesson for the kids.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, lots of questions and stuff to get them engaged.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:But make it a family time.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's a separate family time.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's, that's when they get to be super engaged and make 'em the center.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, here's a second suggestion.
Caesar Kalinowski:Have other or more times throughout the week that the adults in community get together for learning or deeper discussion or things that are just adult?
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:If we're gonna be mature disciples and it's part of our lifestyle, not everything is gonna make sense to a kid or for them to be there.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or you wanna focus, that's okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You go to work, you don't take your kids, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:That's great.
Caesar Kalinowski:Not most people.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:So our, our kids can easily be distraction for these times.
Caesar Kalinowski:Especially like if you've got not yet believers with you and the kids are going nuts.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's just a different time.
Caesar Kalinowski:Kids are kids, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so sometimes we need to do adult only stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Third.
Caesar Kalinowski:Have different missional communities take turns babysitting each other's kids for those adult times.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So people would say like, yeah, well the reason we jam it all into one night is cuz nobody can afford babysitting.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm like, Hey, is there like, do you have two missional communities going on at your church or do you know anybody else living this kinda lifestyle?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, just swap out babysitting.
Caesar Kalinowski:Then like whenever that one time a week that it's gonna be adult only time.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or twice or whatever it is, like swap it out.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, you know, as soon as you get to more than one missional community in your network or church or area, then you can just trade off hanging out with each other's kids, um, so that you can have those focused times.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know what else?
Caesar Kalinowski:This also helps your kids know that they're part of like a larger family and mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like other people live this way too.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's cool.
Caesar Kalinowski:And they're reinforcing the same stuff in language.
Caesar Kalinowski:Fourth one, have older kids, like maybe teens or something, watch or teach the younger ones while the big people have their discussion times.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now, I know a lot of people try to do that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:So this is not like, whoa, man, you're blowing my mind here.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, but you know, part of discipleship is learning to teach and train others that which we've learned and experienced.
Caesar Kalinowski:So having older kids, right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Help teach and be with the younger, extended, you know, brothers and sisters is a great way to train them for leadership in Disciple making.
Caesar Kalinowski:Mm.
Caesar Kalinowski:So I'm not saying have the older kids hang out and just watch 'em and roll a video.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm saying maybe.
Caesar Kalinowski:Maybe you're not even doing anything.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm saying maybe just, you wanna make times where the teens do the story with the younger kids, or they're teaching them something, or they're taking 'em out to pick up trash or something.
Caesar Kalinowski:Talking about why we wanna be a servant or, you know what I, I don't know.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because that is part of their discipleship.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, set them up to win.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And give 'em a little bit review afterwards, how things went.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I don't suggest paying 'em like babysitters for this.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:This is family.
Caesar Kalinowski:And let them be family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And if they don't wanna do it, cause they don't get be in family.
Caesar Kalinowski:They don't have to, but they get to And that's a, that's that's a learning point too.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, this is, these are your little brothers and sisters.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Little apprentices.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, exactly.
Caesar Kalinowski:Exactly.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's great.
Caesar Kalinowski:Fifth one.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, here's another one.
Caesar Kalinowski:Learn to integrate the kids during parties or serving times when you're out helping people together.
Caesar Kalinowski:This gives them memories of much, you know, much more of a holistic Christian life.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it shows them that we're all in this together and there's a place for them at the table and on the mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:So what I mean by integrate them in is like give 'em jobs to do.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, like you're throwing a party, they're setting the table, they're greeting, they're going, Hey, can I get you guys soda?
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, what can I teach?
Caesar Kalinowski:You can teach 'em hospitality.
Caesar Kalinowski:Teach 'em hospitality.
Caesar Kalinowski:Have 'em clear em plates, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like have 'em show 'em people where this is at, have 'em take 'em out and show 'em their fort or their backyard thing, or their tent, whatever, you know, whatever they're doing.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, When they're out serving, they're not just out doing them.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like give them actual jobs.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Give them feedback.
Caesar Kalinowski:Tell 'em how it connects to the Gospel and how God's treated us a certain way.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's why we treat people this way.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Give them stuff to do.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like just don't.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's awesome, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:What a great idea.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, here's, here's the sixth one.
Caesar Kalinowski:Check this one out.
Caesar Kalinowski:Let the little kids run the family meeting.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, like when Family times.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or serving times like once a month or so.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's a foreign concept.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like let, yeah, like for example, um, I heard one set of third graders that, that I heard about.
Caesar Kalinowski:They created, um, invites for other kids at their school to come by and watch Shrek on the side of their house using their parents' projector.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And they also made invites for the parents to come over for coffee and refreshments.
Caesar Kalinowski:And like 60 kids showed up.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and, and, and most of 'em had parents in tow.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So encourage your little ones in praying for their friends and finding ways to be on mission with you and even let them lead.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, what do you think would be a cool thing to bless your friends?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:What would be fun in the neighborhood?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, what, what, what do you see that's broken and weird?
Caesar Kalinowski:Let's, let's, we'll bring the, all the adults are gonna help.
Caesar Kalinowski:You see what I'm saying?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like let them, serving them.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Let them run things a little bit.
Caesar Kalinowski:I love that they're not gonna do it perfectly, but that's not the point.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And here's the seventh thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:Relax, stressing out over trying to always create this perfect environment, or the perfect evening, or like a program or something.
Caesar Kalinowski:Is a lot more the result of our church backgrounds.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, like the way we've kind of raised programming Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:Than what we read about in the early church and, and what their lives look like in the book of acts.
Caesar Kalinowski:Start believing that kids are super valuable part of our community and that they're the future of the mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And don't worry about programming everything perfectly.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So just give yourself a break there.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So there's seven, there's seven tips, man, man.
Heath Hollensbe:So we usually do the big three.
Heath Hollensbe:We've already got a big seven, so there's another big three.
Caesar Kalinowski:Those are the seven tips.
Caesar Kalinowski:But, but I, yeah, I, I do actually have a big three takeaways for us this week.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sort of, kind of cull it down, like, you know.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:So
Heath Hollensbe:the big three, um, as you know, are things that we.
Heath Hollensbe:We want you to know and believe and can get started on right away in light of what we've been discussed sending over the last 20 minutes or so.
Heath Hollensbe:And
Caesar Kalinowski:every week.
Caesar Kalinowski:You can also get a printable PDF of the week's Big three as a free download.
Caesar Kalinowski:We always do that by going to everyday Disciple dot com slash big three, BG three, and I'm gonna give 'em to you free now.
Caesar Kalinowski:But for a lot of people they're like, Ooh, I wish I could have written that down.
Caesar Kalinowski:How did you Just how he said that, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or I'm, you know, I'm driving or something right now, so I'll give 'em to you now, but just go to the site.
Caesar Kalinowski:You can download 'em and it's all beautiful and nice and you'll love it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Before I give you those though, I wanted to tell y'all that in just a few weeks, we're opening up only 12 spots to begin working with a limited group of dedicated Disciple makers who are gonna join us in our everyday Disciple makers coaching experience.
Caesar Kalinowski:With our everyday Disciple framework, you'll find clarity on what discipleship really is, what it looks like, and how to Disciple others to maturity.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's all this stuff we've been talking about today.
Caesar Kalinowski:We'll teach you exactly what to do and how to do it with the confidence to keep moving forward at a sustainable pace, something that fits your life we'll help you find a work ministry family life balance while making discipleship part of your normal life.
Caesar Kalinowski:If you feel like your current Disciple making process or lack thereof is not producing transformation, freedom and maturity in your people, our proven discipleship framework will help you change that.
Caesar Kalinowski:We've helped thousands of people in every imaginable context and age and stage of life.
Caesar Kalinowski:Do that.
Caesar Kalinowski:And like we said, they're finding greater spiritual freedom as they are released from a discipleship model that's sort of week to week and based on behavioral modification and sin management.
Caesar Kalinowski:They're seeing the relationships healed that have been broken sometimes for years and years.
Caesar Kalinowski:And all of this flows from gaining a deeper understanding of the Gospel in all of life and then growing in our gospel fluency, the ability to see and speak and experience the good news.
Caesar Kalinowski:In every part of our lives and relationships with others.
Caesar Kalinowski:If you wanna get more information on exactly how this coaching works, maybe you're just kinda wondering, scratching your head up.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:I've been thinking about this.
Caesar Kalinowski:You talk about it pretty often.
Caesar Kalinowski:You wanna find out more if and see if it's a good fit for you.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, let's just do that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Let's just talk.
Caesar Kalinowski:Go to everyday Disciple dot com slash coaching to set up a discovery call.
Caesar Kalinowski:You and I will hop on, get to know each other, find out a little bit about your current discipleship process, and see if we can help you accomplish your Disciple making goals, either as a family or for your entire church.
Caesar Kalinowski:So just go to everyday Disciple dot com slash coaching and let's get this ball rolling.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right, Caesar, what are the big three for this week?
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay, so here's what I want you to know.
Caesar Kalinowski:Kids are a part of your family and they're an important part of your Missional Community.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:They're not just an annoyance or people to be entertained.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you know, think about it this way.
Caesar Kalinowski:Healthy families have people of all ages involved in important ways, and together they better display what the kingdom of God is like.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Secondly, this is what I want you to believe, that a true life-giving Missional Community is a daily, vibrant experience in the normal rhythms of your life.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's not a weekly meeting.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay?
Caesar Kalinowski:So everything can't just be jammed into it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's a life lived with discipleship and mission radically prioritized as a lifestyle along with your entire family.
Caesar Kalinowski:And your friends and their kids.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Everyone's invited.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, so I'm trying to blow everybody's paradigm up a little bit.
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't think like, what do I do with 'em in a meeting?
Caesar Kalinowski:But think about this lifestyle, this Missional Community is, is a life giving, you know, whole thing that we're all living in.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Third, without, I just wanna say this, and this is gonna seem a little bit hard.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:But, You know, I'm, I'm, I'm an older brother and by God's grace we've raised three kids that live this way and love people well, but not everybody does.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's that a lot of 'em just, you know, so without getting into some training or investing, the time and effort to get equipped to really live and experience a vibrant Gospel Center community like a family together, there is a high chance that your kids may abandon their Christian faith.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or be enticed by some weird watered down sort of almost Christian version of things.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And like I, I mean, I saw this thing recently, Heath from the Pew Research Center.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:They said more than a third of adults that are in the millennial generation.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, that's me.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:35% now say they have no religion.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's up 10% just since 2007.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's in the last decade.
Caesar Kalinowski:Whoa.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:35% say I have no religion.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's, so you're thinking, oh my gosh, now, now what's it at now?
Caesar Kalinowski:And then what's it at for that next?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like people's listening who got littler kids?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:I guarantee you out of there it's, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's way worse.
Caesar Kalinowski:So without getting some training Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like to change this.
Caesar Kalinowski:I mean, good luck guys.
Caesar Kalinowski:Start involving your kids at a young age.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh my gosh.
Caesar Kalinowski:Please, please, please do.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's why we're doing this, you know, podcast and we're trying to help everything be integrated.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Integrate your life and your faith.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so today we're, you know, integrate your kids, bring the kids along.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And involve 'em and train 'em.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And be sure to join us next week.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're gonna continue to talk about these things and keep talking about how the Gospel speaks good news into everyday life.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right, I'll talk to you soon.
Heath Hollensbe:Thanks for joining us today.
Heath Hollensbe:For more information on this show and to get loads of free discipleship resources, visit everyday disciple dot com.
Heath Hollensbe:And remember, you really can live with the spiritual freedom and relational peace that Jesus promised every day.