From Small Group to Spiritual Family
Living as a family on mission in community with others is a big shift—and a big commitment. It gets even trickier when you’re trying to start or transition a small group that originally formed for reasons other than discipleship and mission.
This week on the Everyday Disciple Podcast, we’re asking the honest question: Why is missional living so hard? We’ll unpack some of the common challenges and give you practical tips, hope, and encouragement for when things feel tough.
Sure, it might feel hard at first… (because it is!). But once you’ve experienced the beauty of gospel-centered community—living like a true spiritual family—there’s no going back to simply checking the church box on Sundays.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- The key differences between a traditional small group and a true missional community
- How time, schedules, personal preferences, and priorities shape our ability to live this out
- Why it’s crucial for married couples to be aligned in mission
- What a sustainable, healthy pace looks like for long-term community life
From this episode:
“I have seen a lot of communities that have had real issues because the networks of friends were so varied or far apart. And I know a lot of churches have traditional Small Groups that were formed based on what night of the week worked for folks at the church to get together and have pie and discuss the sermon from last Sunday…But, when you commit to doing Missional Community together, you are essentially committing to be a family together. To do life together.”
Each week the Big 3 will give you immediate action steps to get you started.
Download today’s BIG 3 right now. Read and think over them again later. You might even want to share them with others…
Thanks for Listening!
Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Join us on Facebook and take part in the discussion!
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Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Coaching with Caesar and Tina in discipleship and missional living.
Free Discipleship and Missional Resources
Transcript
Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Living like this as a family on mission with others in communities is a big commitment, but it's one that Jesus promised to walk with us in.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you're right, brother.
Caesar Kalinowski:Transitioning small groups that were pulled together for reasons other than discipleship and mission, and asking folks to now commit to increasingly live like a family together mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:That can be some tough sledding.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's hard.
Caesar Kalinowski:You've gotta start with the gospel and our true gospel identity.
Caesar Kalinowski:That has to be grounded in our own hearts first before we'll ever lead anyone else or lead change at our churches and, and leaders will actually need to start living this way
Caesar Kalinowski:at home and in their neighborhoods with others as the rings of relationship move outward.
Caesar Kalinowski:They'll really need to model what.
Caesar Kalinowski:They preach and sure, this seems hard at first, but once you've experienced life in a gospel centered community like a family, there's
Caesar Kalinowski:no going back to just checking the church box once a week on Sunday.
Heath Hollensbe:Welcome to the Everyday Disciple Podcast where you'll learn how to live with.
Heath Hollensbe:Greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits into every area of life.
Heath Hollensbe:In other words, discipleship as a lifestyle.
Heath Hollensbe:This is the stuff your parents, pastors and seminary professors probably forgot to tell you.
Heath Hollensbe:And now here's your host, Cesar Kalinowski.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm glad to be here with ya.
Caesar Kalinowski:He, how you doing man?
Caesar Kalinowski:What's going on?
Heath Hollensbe:Alright man.
Heath Hollensbe:So, uh.
Heath Hollensbe:I've actually made a move this week.
Heath Hollensbe:This was my last week serving in the institution.
Heath Hollensbe:You know, we've always talked about in in the institutional church, we've always talked about, oh, I was wondering like the institution, like have you been in prison for time?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, I've been in prison.
Heath Hollensbe:Little reform going on.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, so I've always lived this kind of bifurcated, like living missionally throughout the week and in our neighborhood with intentionality, but then
Heath Hollensbe:also serving in a local church and not, so now I'm kind of a free agent.
Heath Hollensbe:I get to.
Heath Hollensbe:I get to out,
Caesar Kalinowski:not that you'll never do that again.
Caesar Kalinowski:No.
Caesar Kalinowski:Never say never.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:But I know that you've made a transition in months past, but you also were still serving there.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Kind of both.
Caesar Kalinowski:And by owing it up a while.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so now we're, that's a pretty big deal.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:First time.
Heath Hollensbe:I mean, this is the first time in blush response.
Heath Hollensbe:Happy.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Really happy.
Caesar Kalinowski:I know obviously your schedule and time with your kids is gonna change a manly
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:It'll be the first time in.
Heath Hollensbe:Six years where I've had a two day weekend.
Heath Hollensbe:Isn't that crazy?
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, and ever since you kind of took on the, the, the day job and sort of went BiVo, it's like you doubled down.
Caesar Kalinowski:It wasn't even like, it wasn't even like, I'm getting free, you know, like, anyway, so I'm free if you see me a, you've been a good servant brother to your local community.
Caesar Kalinowski:You really have.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's been fun.
Caesar Kalinowski:I know they're gonna.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hard to see you go Well, anyway, it's been good.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:All right, let's dive in, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:Let's, let's dive into this week's
Heath Hollensbe:delio.
Heath Hollensbe:Um, okay.
Heath Hollensbe:Okay.
Heath Hollensbe:So this whole missional thing, um, I'm constantly surprised at how often I hear people that say they're living on mission or living a missional lifestyle.
Heath Hollensbe:I. And I'm thinking, yes.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Right.
Heath Hollensbe:Your lives don't reflect it at all.
Heath Hollensbe:Maybe.
Heath Hollensbe:So maybe we could start with kind of painting the strokes of what it really does mean to be missional.
Heath Hollensbe:How would you impact this?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:I like, I like this episode, uh, and where we're heading today, Heath, because it is sort of a back to basics things.
Caesar Kalinowski:But, and, and if anybody's like, uh, I'm moving on.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm past that.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, no, you're not.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:And guess what?
Caesar Kalinowski:Someone's gonna join your community soon.
Caesar Kalinowski:That doesn't know any of this.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, exactly.
Caesar Kalinowski:And unless you know how to articulate it and you know, whatever, or if you're listening and you're like, or leading small group or you're leading all the small groups in
Caesar Kalinowski:your church, this basic stuff is the stuff that I return to over and over and over.
Caesar Kalinowski:Mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, but we're kind of coming at it from that angle, like you said, is why is this so hard?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, but I love your, I love your like, intro here.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like what is, what do we mean by missional, you know, how do we, how do we unpack that?
Caesar Kalinowski:So, um, what.
Caesar Kalinowski:What?
Caesar Kalinowski:What we're talking about is our identity in Christ.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay?
Caesar Kalinowski:We say we're a family of missionary servants sent as disciples who make disciples and our identity now.
Caesar Kalinowski:Flowing from God.
Caesar Kalinowski:Mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:The source now flows out into all the normal rhythms of life as we make disciples who make disciples accomplishing God's eternal purpose of filling the world with his glory.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now that's a, that's a mouthful, but.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's very, very different than like, oh, we had a Minal community.
Caesar Kalinowski:What is it?
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, it's our small group.
Caesar Kalinowski:But now we, once a year, we go and serve, no, no, no, no.
Caesar Kalinowski:Are you believing your identity?
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:Are you grounded in it?
Caesar Kalinowski:Are you saturated in your Trinitarian identity as a part of God's family?
Caesar Kalinowski:A missionary servants out making disciples, and that's your lifestyle.
Caesar Kalinowski:Mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's not like an add-on.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's not a program.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's not a group that gets together once a week just to talk about Bible stuff or churchy stuff or pray for one another.
Caesar Kalinowski:Those are all good things.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's not just a Bible study.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's an increasingly.
Caesar Kalinowski:Vibrant life together on the mission of God, which is to fill the world with his glory.
Caesar Kalinowski:And how do we do that?
Caesar Kalinowski:Jesus gave us the mission, the, you know, the common mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:Go make disciples.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Fill the world with me.
Caesar Kalinowski:What I'm like, 'cause I'm the glory of the father.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's what we're talking about when we talk about living a missional lifestyle.
Caesar Kalinowski:So this isn't really for the faint of heart.
Caesar Kalinowski:And this is probably why it's so hard because I'll tell you what's a whole lot easier than letting God change your belief around your identity and all
Caesar Kalinowski:the rhythms of your life and radically reorienting your time use and all that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know what's a whole lot easier checking the box on Sunday, once a week.
Caesar Kalinowski:Totally.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, you know, I said that prayer in, you know, back in, uh, youth group back at the camp that one summer, you know, I even shed a tear or two.
Caesar Kalinowski:I meant it, you know, that's, that was important.
Caesar Kalinowski:You gotta mean it, you know, God knows if you mean it,
Caesar Kalinowski:, Heath Hollensbe: you get the stars for perfect
Caesar Kalinowski:attendance.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's a whole lot easier than I'm gonna now.
Caesar Kalinowski:Lead myself and my family and submit to this work of the spirit and all of life and radically see my life reprioritized.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's what we're ultimately talking about.
Caesar Kalinowski:But, but it's hard and it does.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's not a light switch.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:We've talked about in the show before, Michel community life is not like a light switch where we just go, you know what?
Caesar Kalinowski:I was listening to this podcast, convinced me click.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're living it.
Caesar Kalinowski:I wish
Heath Hollensbe:it's still, I mean, we've done this for years, like it's awfully difficult.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:You know, one thing that I constantly go back to is just how difficult this lifestyle is, because it really is a reorientation of how you
Heath Hollensbe:prioritize nearly everything in your life, how you voucher time.
Heath Hollensbe:Eventually it all comes under the gospel, right?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, absolutely.
Heath Hollensbe:And it's a community that's not necessarily your blood family, but you have to start taking into account.
Heath Hollensbe:Times and, and how does this serve the community better, and how do we adjust our schedules?
Heath Hollensbe:Mm-hmm.
Heath Hollensbe:How do we adjust our vacation so that we can actually be together?
Heath Hollensbe:How do we adjust our family interest or activities or spending, you know?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:It all really does.
Heath Hollensbe:Come into this crockpot of different groups coming together and actually trying to figure this out.
Heath Hollensbe:But what you just described is exactly what
Caesar Kalinowski:we see in scripture.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's exactly what we see Jesus doing with his disciples and those that he hung out with his clothes, like his ikas, his pals, and then when he.
Caesar Kalinowski:Ascends goes to the father and sends the spirit back.
Caesar Kalinowski:Then we see his disciples and the, and the churches that they started in, the communities, the KOAs that grew.
Caesar Kalinowski:Mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:This is exactly what they were doing.
Caesar Kalinowski:They were, they were all their hearts, their lives, their stuff, their schedule, everything you just listed was all submitted to Jesus.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:It wasn't like, Hey, I'm living my, and, and I'll just jump ahead back to like current time I'm living the American dream life where I, you know, I get everything.
Caesar Kalinowski:That everybody else has bigger, louder, more, faster, sooner.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I wedge in a little bit of Jesus and all.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, no.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and and, and it's not just, I have to figure out how to do this myself and help my, my spouse and my kids understand the, this beautiful life that we've actually been given.
Caesar Kalinowski:But now I have to help others do it.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's gonna be very, very slow.
Heath Hollensbe:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's gonna have to be motivated by the gospel.
Caesar Kalinowski:It really will be.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:You're absolutely right, ma'am.
Caesar Kalinowski:But it, it is tough.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, I mean, let's, we're agreeing right at the front end is, you know, the, the title of the show is, why is Michel Living so hard?
Caesar Kalinowski:It is hard.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, it's because it's really a whole lot of dying to self and preference, and even wrong teaching about the gospel and what it means to be a Christian and why Jesus came.
Caesar Kalinowski:There's a lot of unlearning that then.
Caesar Kalinowski:Leads to new learning and freedom and you're realizing, wow, the gospel's so much bigger than I thought.
Caesar Kalinowski:But it's simple.
Caesar Kalinowski:The story of God is big.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's powerful, but it, it's simple to understand
Heath Hollensbe:and explain and what have we been doing?
Heath Hollensbe:And so, yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:So in your mind, what do you think are some of maybe the biggest challenges?
Heath Hollensbe:I. When trying to get started or to even stay living missionally with others in community?
Heath Hollensbe:Well,
Caesar Kalinowski:besides, you know, our well-worn patterns of consumerism and complacency, maybe.
Caesar Kalinowski:Mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because it's just easy to kinda kick back, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, you know, complacency with the way our life, our Christian life's been for so long, um, there are a handful of things that I've seen that are part
Caesar Kalinowski:of why it's so hard to get started or, or part sustain it, like you said.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:So first thing that comes to mind is, um.
Caesar Kalinowski:And this kinda speaks to, to married couples.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's probably most of our listenership.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, is not being on the same page together as a couple.
Heath Hollensbe:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:You, you just, you know, I would say that's
Heath Hollensbe:happened in our life.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and it's like, you know, I, I talk to people almost every day where one spouse is, is really leaning into missional living.
Caesar Kalinowski:Mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the other one is not, they want their time, their houses, their refuge.
Caesar Kalinowski:They don't want anybody, you know, sinning all over their kids.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:They don't want their house a mess.
Caesar Kalinowski:They, they, everything's prioritized.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm gonna go to church on Sunday.
Caesar Kalinowski:I love Jesus.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm good.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you're, so that's, that's hard.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So before you're gonna like, oh, I'm gonna blow it up and we're gonna have this huge Michel community, but my spouse isn't on board.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:So my kids feel like they get to vote.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, we're all gonna follow our complacent hearts.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, exactly.
Caesar Kalinowski:Our, so, so that's the first one is how do you get, you know, you gotta get together on the same page.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's been
Heath Hollensbe:the one thing for us was, uh.
Heath Hollensbe:Was just the fact that I love being an extrovert and I get, I come alive with people and parties and, and my wife loves the quietness.
Heath Hollensbe:And so for, for me, I could go seven days a week having people over 'cause it's Well, and she's been home all day with a crowd.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, exactly.
Heath Hollensbe:And she's like, so she's anyone here?
Heath Hollensbe:She's doing a great job.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Of extroverting it up for introverted heart, you know, so she definitely needs some time.
Caesar Kalinowski:So that.
Caesar Kalinowski:So you bring up a good point.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, so it's not that she can't do those things.
Caesar Kalinowski:She does 'em all day.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's not that she isn't in community with others, but she has to be very, very understanding and you need to be very understanding to get on the same page of, well, when does she get to recharge?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, you're right because you recharge.
Caesar Kalinowski:Probably going, and I just got done with work and I can't wait to get some people over here.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:She's like, I've been with people.
Caesar Kalinowski:I can't wait.
Caesar Kalinowski:He's coming home and I can't wait to go hide for a while.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's fair.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right, exactly.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Here's another one.
Caesar Kalinowski:It makes it hard is to get started or to sustain this.
Caesar Kalinowski:Is it it not experiencing or modeling this life with your own family?
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or your husband or wife or kids or whatever?
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, first, uh, so often and, and I, uh, guilty.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay, guilty here.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, people will say, you know, we're starting this Michel community, and they kind of throw a lasso around a bunch of church friends and maybe a couple of.
Caesar Kalinowski:Neighbors and stuff and they go, boom, that's our Michel community.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then they start trying to proceed to getting 'em to live ways that they've never even lived.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like we're gonna have these killer meals together every week.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, tell me about the killer meals you have at your own dinner table every week.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, we barely eat together.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or we, that's an issue.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or we just throw food down.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's just food.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, okay, wait a minute.
Caesar Kalinowski:Back the train up.
Caesar Kalinowski:So that's a, that's a huge barrier to getting other people to live a certain way.
Caesar Kalinowski:You've never even lived.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So I always say like, Hey, this starts in the mirror.
Caesar Kalinowski:This starts at your own table.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, let's create some new rhythms.
Caesar Kalinowski:Let's get some new beliefs going, understanding of our identity and how it's starting to flow into our nuclear family.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then we'll start to invite people's.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, people into those rings.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Instead of like, I don't live this way, let's throw a ass around a bunch of people and shoot 'em to death.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You gonna lose.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You gotta be a
Heath Hollensbe:practitioner in your own family.
Heath Hollensbe:Absolutely.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:First,
Caesar Kalinowski:you know.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because that's your model, that's your first mission field, so to speak.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:Alright.
Caesar Kalinowski:Here's another thing that kills a lot of people, is starting too fast and, and trying to talk a bunch of people into new life stuff and rhythms.
Caesar Kalinowski:Before their heart catch catches up and it's rightly motivated by the gospel.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:So even if you have been starting to live this in your own household
Heath Hollensbe:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then you go, okay, boom.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you see, and I, God, I hear it so many times, people are like, we had all these people from church and we told 'em about what we're
Caesar Kalinowski:doing and they were all excited and no one wants to do anything.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because as soon as we told 'em it was gonna be more than one night a week, they were like, I don't even know if I can do one night a week.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, wait a minute.
Caesar Kalinowski:You can't be with Jesus and, and live out what you were created for.
Caesar Kalinowski:And Jesus died for more than a a, a day a week.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, when are you gonna become a Christian?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know,
Heath Hollensbe:it's like there's some issues there.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:What is
Caesar Kalinowski:going on?
Caesar Kalinowski:So, starting too fast and trying to talk people into stuff that their heart hasn't caught up to.
Caesar Kalinowski:It always, it always ends up with finger pointing and hurt feelings.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and a fizzle, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:And sometimes it's like, well, not everybody did.
Caesar Kalinowski:So now we just hang out with these two couples.
Caesar Kalinowski:'cause they agree with us.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, oh, it's a, it's a gospel motivation thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's, you gotta start there.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Another thing that I've seen that's like a kind of a challenge or a barrier is not having accountability to actually get started.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like so many people, you know, I run into, they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're really gonna start living this way.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, I mean, I know it, I've been listening to your show, or I read your first book, or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, it's like, we're really, really gonna get it.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like tick, tick, tick.
Caesar Kalinowski:Years go by.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, like having some accountability to get started to stick to your plan.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Having someone else who like brings accountability via the gospel.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:So it's not like, Hey, I thought you were gonna have a party this weekend with your neighbors.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, wait a minute.
Caesar Kalinowski:What?
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, like, let's, let's let the gospel inform what was going on in your heart.
Caesar Kalinowski:So you canceled that thing, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, because we wanna be motivated, rightly.
Caesar Kalinowski:You need to have some good motivation and accountability, encouragement that's ongoing.
Caesar Kalinowski:Mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:You really do.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'll tell you what, in, in too many, too many churches and the thousands of emails that I've gotten where people are like, do you, we live here.
Caesar Kalinowski:Do you know someone who lives this way?
Caesar Kalinowski:We gotta find a community.
Caesar Kalinowski:We gotta find a plan.
Caesar Kalinowski:We want to get going.
Caesar Kalinowski:We don't know what we're doing.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Mm. Like, like we've been talking about it forever.
Caesar Kalinowski:We've tried a few things, a little start, stop, start, stop.
Caesar Kalinowski:And.
Caesar Kalinowski:I, yeah, I don't know.
Caesar Kalinowski:We, we keep blowing it off then years go by, so yeah, getting some accountability and some encouragement's.
Caesar Kalinowski:Really, really huge man.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah,
Heath Hollensbe:absolutely.
Heath Hollensbe:Trying to do
Caesar Kalinowski:something that's like, you're gonna die now to a whole lot of stuff and your church knows nothing about it,
Heath Hollensbe:it's gonna be almost impossible.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then, and I think, I think last two is, and this is big, is to have a trusted person or couple in your life that not only brings you accountability, you
Caesar Kalinowski:know, and encouragement, but that lives the life that you're wanting to live.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:They're already living it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and they can walk alongside you for the whole thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's super important.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Otherwise, people just feel like I, we're out here drifting.
Caesar Kalinowski:I hear it all the time.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like we felt so alone.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're in a huge church.
Caesar Kalinowski:And there's people hanging around.
Caesar Kalinowski:But we just felt so alone because the things that we're learning and the things that God's birthing in our hearts, no one's ever done before.
Caesar Kalinowski:We've never seen them.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:So most people weren't discipled in a way that had the gospel speak into and shape all of life.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:That leads to living now on mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're gonna need some help to really move into this.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, you know, just hoping for change, hoping for magic to happen, or lightning the strike.
Caesar Kalinowski:It won't produce the change in lifestyle that you desire.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:The life that Jesus came to give us all.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, you know, find a coach or a mentor if you're serious.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and, and you know, I'm not hiding anything.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's part of what we do, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's part of what we've given our life to.
Caesar Kalinowski:Tina and I is coaching and mentoring people in this.
Caesar Kalinowski:We live this way.
Caesar Kalinowski:We know how to make disciples.
Caesar Kalinowski:We can help you.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then be a huge privilege if you wanted us to anyway.
Caesar Kalinowski:So that, that's a big thing though, is just trying to go alone, muddling through it, you know, it's like, well, I'd like to have a coach, but
Caesar Kalinowski:you know, that's gonna cost a couple hundred bucks or something like.
Caesar Kalinowski:Come on.
Caesar Kalinowski:How much are you spending on a million other things that are not producing life and, and, and freedom and training your kids on how to live out the kingdom and
Caesar Kalinowski:all I go, yeah, just please reprioritize a little bit towards your spiritual lives.
Caesar Kalinowski:This is important.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:I was thinking as you're talking there about some of the recent things that have been, uh, just in my own personal kind of heart and family, uh, rattling around as far as
Heath Hollensbe:difficulty in the missional life and, uh, the two situations that pop up initially.
Heath Hollensbe:One is that we.
Heath Hollensbe:We're part of a group of, of people that had a lot of family in the area.
Heath Hollensbe:And so it was like, yeah, we'll commit to our missional community except for when there's holidays and family vacations.
Heath Hollensbe:'cause then we actually go be with our real family and then we, so 80% of our free time gets sucked up by our bio family.
Heath Hollensbe:Family,
Caesar Kalinowski:which you're supposed to be good family, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Heath Hollensbe:Or the other thing is, uh, this, this sense of, um.
Heath Hollensbe:Uh, communities having real issues because the network of friends were so varied and far apart.
Heath Hollensbe:So different circles like, well, I've got work and then I've got guys I do this with, and then guys I do this with.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:And my wife's got this group, and then we've got our church group, and then we've got.
Heath Hollensbe:So I know a lot of, uh, I know a lot of churches have like traditional small groups that were sort of formed based off what night of the Week worked
Heath Hollensbe:with certain people at the church to get together and or they tried to
Caesar Kalinowski:solve that problem that you just said.
Caesar Kalinowski:There's, everybody's so different.
Caesar Kalinowski:So let's just put people in the same exact age and stage of life and guys who like biking and guys d biking, but they like hiking instead.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or like, they only like baseball, so they'll get, you know, and then when baseball season's over, like we won't see anybody.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, exactly.
Caesar Kalinowski:It wasn't a real community.
Caesar Kalinowski:It was just like you serving your.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like needs,
Heath Hollensbe:it's like too many filters.
Heath Hollensbe:And then you all look alike, right?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:So when you commit though to, to actually doing this missional community together, the life of a missional person mm-hmm.
Heath Hollensbe:You're essentially committing to being family together and doing life.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Together.
Heath Hollensbe:And that supersedes a lot of the.
Heath Hollensbe:The things that we've already talked about, like time and think about you.
Heath Hollensbe:Well, you just said it's
Caesar Kalinowski:so huge.
Caesar Kalinowski:Heath.
Caesar Kalinowski:I, I hope like, don't miss it.
Caesar Kalinowski:If you're listening to this, what, what?
Caesar Kalinowski:When you're starting a initial community or when you're committing to one, you're essentially committing to being family, to doing life together.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Not like family B, but actually like, like not, not that God's family.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Like
Caesar Kalinowski:I was just reading scripture the day it says, call no one on earth father because you have a father in heaven.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's Jesus talking.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:He's so serious about us understanding that our first family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Is as part of God's family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that this earthly fleshly handful of people that look like us, bear our last name, carry some of the same DNA.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's all part of the bigger overarching family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so think about half of marriages where people commit to do life together and be family fail.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Over half.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:So it's no surprise that Michel community life would be really hard 'cause now you're not only getting married,
Heath Hollensbe:it's the same and
Caesar Kalinowski:having to take your spouse along for the ride.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're trying to get everybody married on the same page.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:That takes a work of God.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:It really, really does.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's, it is hard.
Caesar Kalinowski:This live in as a family of mission is a big commitment.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:But it's one that Jesus promised to walk with us in.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's good.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And And by the way, too, you're right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Again, transitioning small groups that were pulled together for reasons other than discipleship and mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then asking folks to now commit to increasingly be a family.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, let's do mission together.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's tough.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sled man.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, it's so hard.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's really hard.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay, so you've gotta start with the gospel and your gospel identity.
Caesar Kalinowski:Kinda said that earlier, and this starts by believing that you're a part of a family.
Caesar Kalinowski:I. Fact, God's family of missionary servants.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now that carries such huge implication for missionaries and we're sent, ones we're sent out to, to do what?
Caesar Kalinowski:To make disciples, to find the lost sheep, to bring family members to the table.
Caesar Kalinowski:Find those people, those kids that are lost, bring 'em back to dad's table.
Caesar Kalinowski:Serve people we're sent as disciples who make disciples to fill the world with God's glory.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:All that has to be grounded in your own heart first before you'll ever lead others.
Caesar Kalinowski:In this or lead change at your church.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And leaders will need to actually start living this way at home.
Caesar Kalinowski:They They will.
Caesar Kalinowski:They will.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:So if you're listening to this and you're like, man, I want that for my church so bad.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or like, I'm a small groups, you know, pastor, like, I want that so bad for our groups.
Caesar Kalinowski:You have to live it.
Caesar Kalinowski:You have to start living it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Small, big, slow, fast.
Caesar Kalinowski:You gotta get there.
Caesar Kalinowski:You'll really need to model what you preach.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm reminded of Matthew 23, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Jesus says to the crowds and his disciples, the teachers of the law and the Pharisees, they sit in Moses' seat.
Caesar Kalinowski:So you must be careful to do what they tell you.
Caesar Kalinowski:So Jesus basically saying, Hey, when the teachers of the law and the Pharisees teach, listen up.
Caesar Kalinowski:But then he goes on and he says, but don't do what they do.
Caesar Kalinowski:'cause they don't practice what they preach.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And in fact, not only do they not practice what they preach, verse four, they tie up heavy, cumbersome loads, giant rocks, and they put them on people's shoulders.
Caesar Kalinowski:But they themselves are not willing to lift a finger.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh my God.
Caesar Kalinowski:Some harsh words.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like I, I, I feel like we're always trying to like, are we too hard on the show?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, and then I just read some of Jesus stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, nope.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like we're crank it up.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're so nice crank.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm like, we're gonna start cranking it up, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:Let's quote a lot more red letter stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's right.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:This seems hard at first.
Caesar Kalinowski:I know, but once you've experienced life in a gospel center community, like a family where you're starting to shed all your fear and
Caesar Kalinowski:preference and just, you know, you're just checking the box once a week.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh man.
Caesar Kalinowski:There's no going back.
Heath Hollensbe:There's just no
Caesar Kalinowski:going back.
Heath Hollensbe:The, the lifestyle is just so fun and it's so cool to be following the spirit and how creative the spirit is and the, the relational stuff that you walk into.
Heath Hollensbe:And it's messy.
Heath Hollensbe:And like
Caesar Kalinowski:we've said this whole episode, it is hard.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, it's not easy.
Caesar Kalinowski:It just is.
Caesar Kalinowski:Again, I wanna, you know, just full honesty and disclosure, I won't let our friends and our family here know that if they're at all interested in having me and Tina be their coaches Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:For the next leg of their missional journey, we'd be honored.
Caesar Kalinowski:We would really be honored to do it.
Caesar Kalinowski:And if people are interested in having me put together a custom personal roadmap for them, like we interview, we talk, we get on video together, get to know your story, where you're
Caesar Kalinowski:doing, what your challenges have been and your family, and we help you work it all out.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then we help you get started living on mission together.
Caesar Kalinowski:You get teaching, coaching, encouragement, all that stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:So if you're interested, man, we'd love to, we'd love to do it with you.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you know, if not now, when.
Caesar Kalinowski:If not now when.
Caesar Kalinowski:So you can get all that information on my coaching page.
Caesar Kalinowski:Just go to everyday disciple.com/coaching.
Caesar Kalinowski:And there's a video there and it talks about how the whole process works, and it is everything, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:A little application thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:So doing the same things you've always done and expecting different results.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's the definition of, uh, insanity, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:That's right.
Caesar Kalinowski:So let's make this the time that you and your family and those you lead in your church, start to experience the gospel in all of life and moving
Caesar Kalinowski:and get you moving towards having vibrant, rich community together.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay?
Caesar Kalinowski:So everyday disciple.com/coaching.
Caesar Kalinowski:At least go and check it out and see what it could be like.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, uh, and pray and see if God would have you.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, is this the time we're gonna finally start to make a difference and make it a little less hard by it
Heath Hollensbe:smell,
Caesar Kalinowski:you know?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Wow.
Heath Hollensbe:And we're gonna continue by giving away another thing here on the show today, which is the big three.
Heath Hollensbe:And that's the big three takeaways that we'd love for you to walk away with, if nothing else.
Heath Hollensbe:And you get it as a printable PDF by going everyday disciple.com/big three.
Heath Hollensbe:Cesar, what are the big three for this week?
Heath Hollensbe:Someone told me recently
Caesar Kalinowski:they print these off and have 'em in a binder, you know.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, that's cool.
Caesar Kalinowski:They get 'em every week, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, big three, like, don't miss this.
Caesar Kalinowski:If anything else, first thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, first thing is God has always desired that his people, his family, would live together in such a way that the world would know what he's truly like.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's not hold up in a building somewhere, you know, once a week.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:This living a life on mission with God is the life that we are all created and then now save to live.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And this starts by believing that you're a part of a family of missionary servants sent as disciples of Jesus who make more disciples filling the world with God's glory.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I know it sounds too good to be true, like Paul called it the mystery revealed, but it is true.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's true of us in Christ.
Caesar Kalinowski:We weren't saved just to kind of hang out and wait for heaven and go to church once in a while.
Caesar Kalinowski:2.3 times a month or 1.7 or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's exactly.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, we get to live life Heath.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's amazing.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Second, um, you're past church attendance.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh.
Caesar Kalinowski:And or lukewarm Christian lifestyle doesn't change God's love for you, so it's never too late.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay?
Caesar Kalinowski:He knows your heart and the plans he has from before time began to bless you and prosper you for your good and his glory.
Caesar Kalinowski:So ask God to forgive any past complacency and lead you to truly live the life he desires for you and your family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Start with prayer.
Caesar Kalinowski:Start with talking to dad.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and he, he wants this for you all day, every day.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:He really does.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's so cool.
Caesar Kalinowski:And he doesn't hold us, you know, there's no fault found, there's no condemnation.
Caesar Kalinowski:God knows he's got the plan, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the third one is, I say don't, don't stay stuck.
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't wait for some to get started making the changes that you really wanna see.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So get the resources, get the training, get the coaching.
Caesar Kalinowski:Doesn't have to be me, but get it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Get started now that get whatever you need to confidently move forward one step at a time toward being and making disciples as a lifestyle.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm telling you, it's a thrill ride.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's the best life.
Caesar Kalinowski:Jesus lived, the best human life that anyone could live, and we get to.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So make this the time that you and your family and those you and your church start to experience the gospel in all of life and really start to experience a rich, vibrant community of faith.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay, so good.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you know, and again, I just wanna say, if you're interested, please check out my coachingPage@everydaydisciple.com slash coaching.
Heath Hollensbe:Awesome.
Heath Hollensbe:Yep.
Heath Hollensbe:Alright.
Heath Hollensbe:Thanks for the big three.
Heath Hollensbe:Again, you get those by going everyday disciple.com/big three.
Heath Hollensbe:Could print 'em out and put 'em in a, put 'em in a binder or whatever.
Heath Hollensbe:I just,
Caesar Kalinowski:yeah, I thought that was cool.
Caesar Kalinowski:That is
Heath Hollensbe:a cool.
Heath Hollensbe:We work hard to make that available, and so it's nice that people are taking advantage of that.
Heath Hollensbe:If you haven't joined our Facebook group, go to facebook.com up in the search bar, type in Everyday Disciple Podcast, Caesar, or I will invite you into the fold thousands of people.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, and it's
Caesar Kalinowski:so
Heath Hollensbe:cool.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, it's growing all the time, so it's so fun.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's please be a part of that.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then if you've been paying attention, you realize that a lot of the episodes and what we talk about come straight from you.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Straight from the people in the group and you know who are listening to the show.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:And they want to know about it.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we'll try to bring a gospel perspective and missional perspective to all of that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Love it.
Heath Hollensbe:It's fun.
Heath Hollensbe:It's a good group.
Heath Hollensbe:Alright, thanks for joining us today.
Heath Hollensbe:For more information on this show and to get loads of free discipleship resources, visit everyday disciple.com and remember.
Heath Hollensbe:You really can live with a spiritual freedom and relational peace that Jesus promised every day.