Being Good Neighbors This Summer on Mission

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When Jesus was asked to sum up all the law and the teachings of scripture into one command, he said to love God with everything you have all of our hearts, minds, and strength, and to love our neighbors as much as we love ourselves.

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And that's pretty simple and powerful, but most of us have turned this simple idea of loving our neighbors, our actual neighbors into a nice saying.

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Maybe putting it on bumper stickers or a refrigerator magnet, and then going on with our lives without actually putting much of that into intentional practice, what would happen if every believer and every follower of Jesus took this great commandment, literally.

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Is it possible that the solution to some of society's biggest problems that we're facing right now has been right under our noses for the past 2000 years.

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Well, once again, we have a great opportunity before us to live this out summers here.

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Summer is a great time with plenty of good reasons to get out and about and mix it up with your neighbors more often, especially now, after coming out of this pandemic lockdown in extreme social.

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How about it.

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There's never been a better time to start being a good neighbor.

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You come in with me,

Announcer: 00:01:23

welcome to the Everyday Disciple podcast where you'll learn how to live with greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits into every area of life.

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In other words, discipleship as a lifestyle.

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This is the stuff your parents, pastors, and seminary professors probably forgot to tell you.

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And now here's your host Caesar.

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Kalinowski

Caesar: 00:01:41

Hey...

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Alrighty.

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Here we go.

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I want to dive right in.

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So today I'm picking up on this idea of neighboring well in the summer months.

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How do we make the next few months awesome for the sake of discipleship and mission, and really, you know, get set up for a great autumn season in community.

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Now, if you'll apply yourself with intentionality and prayer right now, like during the summer months, you'll see your community groups or missional communities really expanding and gaining momentum in the fall.

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So, this is sort of the time, you know, we call it breathing out time.

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You're breathing out relationally, right?

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People are out and about, especially now, and they're dying for relationship and then come fall, you know, things in most places, the weather, the weather changes.

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I know this, you're listening to all over the world, so you can, you can adapt this to where you're at, but then we kind of breathe in and we go deeper.

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Okay.

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So today I'm going to be giving you a bit of a live coaching, if you will.

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It's the type of conversation, pretty rapid fire teaching and tune up that I might have with the folks in our coaching cohorts.

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Many of which I know are listening right now.

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Hey family, maybe I'll make this a regular segment or feature of the show.

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Just let me know if you like this.

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So, some of this you've probably heard me talk about before, but I'm going to connect the dots in some new ways and show you how to layer some.

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For greater impact this summer.

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Okay.

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So we'll be moving pretty quick.

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Like I said, it's kind of like in coaching, I'm like, okay, are you guys thinking about this, this, this, and this right now?

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So summer's the time of year for graduation parties.

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Reduced and more flexible work hours, backyard barbecues, picnics, fireworks, trips to the beach, all that stuff.

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A lot more of us are hanging around outside these days, trying to soak up some summer weather.

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And like I said, especially after.

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a long Pandemic lockdown and you know what, even closer to home, I think than ever, so, especially in our neighborhoods.

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Okay.

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So first off summer is a great time to be thinking about searching for finding and connecting more deeply with your People of Peace.

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Okay.

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People of Peace are those people that are leaning into relationship with you.

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They really like you, and they are not afraid of who you are and your spirituality.

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They're actually even interested.

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Right.

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And so, you can check out episode 2 22, where to find your unique People of Peace.

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And I'll put that in the show notes as well.

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But if you want to check that out, do a full teaching on that.

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It's so important in discipleship and making disciples is to identify our People of Peace.

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And Jesus taught us how to do that.

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And so we're looking for those, right?

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Many of you know, what I'm talking about.

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Well, and like I said, and if not go back and check out episode 2 22.

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Now helping those people that God has uniquely chosen for you to disciple, to help move from unbelief to belief about who God really is and what he thinks of them and how they get to live because of Jesus.

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That's what discipleship is all about.

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Okay.

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And so this.

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You know, instead of just kinda like, well, you know, uh, the kids are off well, they been off, right.

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They'd been home, at least they've been around.

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So now I think we're all cued up for greater intentionality and that sort of breathing out idea is looking for people, of peace and building relationships and building trust.

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All right now, Also want to just kind of quickly touch on, you know, the rings of relationship.

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I talk about that in that same episode, by the way, because as you're out there, you're going to run into people, you know, pretty well, but you're going to also run into like, and make new acquaintances.

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And there's these rings of relationship where people move from acquaintances to becoming friends.

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And then some of them, you identify as, I think that's a person of peace.

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Like they want to do life with us.

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They are interested in life and our family and spirituality.

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And some of those people, a piece will actually become disciples and begin to really walk with Jesus in every area of life.

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Okay.

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Now there are lots of places to make new acquaintances and start building friendships and trust with others.

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But today I want to ask you to focus specifically on your neighbors.

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Okay.

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So it doesn't.

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Doesn't that make sense?

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They're right there.

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Just like building a family.

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Cause that's what an oikos is.

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It's your extended family.

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That's what really a community on mission is.

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It's so much easier when you live near those people.

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Cause you run into them and you see them and you're in the neighborhood and you probably shop the same places and all that.

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So this summer, specifically, like I said, there's a lot of places to make, uh, to make acquaintances and build friendships.

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But right now, I want you to start focusing on your neighbors this summer.

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Okay.

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here's how I want to start.

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I want to suggest you really start to get to know your immediate neighbors.

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And here's a little exercise it's adapted from a book called the art of neighboring by Jay Pathak and Dave Runyon.

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And.

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And I hope I pronounced Jay's name correctly.

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I know these guys, but I hope anyway, I hope they got that right.

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It's called the art of neighboring.

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And so whether you live in or on a neighborhood street, a cul de sac, a rural lot with, you know, with like multiple acres and parcels all around you or you're in an apartment, try to picture the homes of your eight nearest neighbors.

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Okay.

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However, they might be situated next to you across the street.

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Downstairs or down the road.

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All right.

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Sort of picture.

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Who are your closest eight neighbors, you know, homes and all.

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Okay.

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Got those in your head.

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now.

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Write the names of the people who live in those houses of your eight closest neighbors down.

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Write them down.

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And if you can give a first and last name, that's great.

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If it's only the first names that's okay too.

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I do this in my phone.

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I keep a lot of notes actually in my phone about neighbors that I meet when we first moved to Manhattan a few years ago, we're back in Washington now, but when we first moved there, we were boom right there, upper west side Manhattan, and everybody I met.

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And we purposely stayed to a pretty close proximity of, you know, a few blocks, mostly cause there's so much there.

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I wrote down people, I met who, what their names were, where they worked, anything I learned about them, whatever.

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And then when I would run into them again, or I knew I was going to that place, I'd pull out my notes.

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I go like, oh, I wonder if she's working today.

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I wonder if that guy is going to be here.

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And then if they were, I knew their name and it was always like, Man, how's it going?

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And once you remember someone's name, then they want to remember yours.

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And people love that.

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So, eight closest homes write down the names of the people who live in those houses.

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Okay.

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Second step, write down some relevant information about each person, some data or facts that you, you know, you couldn't see just by standing in your driveway.

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Things you might know.

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If you've spoken to that person only once or twice.

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So like maybe their kids' names or how many kids they have or where they're from.

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If they, you know, they're probably not from there originally, or didn't, weren't born in that house maybe.

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Uh, where are they from?

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Where do they work?

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You know, anything that you have in common with them, or you find interesting, right?

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Write that down next to each of their names.

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And then third write down.

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In-depth information that, you know, probably you're going to be fewer of the people you'll know that.

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But it's stuff that you'd know after connecting with those people, this might include like their career plans or some family dreams or anything to do with their purpose, you know, like their purpose in life, write down anything meaningful that you've learned after interacting with them for awhile.

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Okay, so right away you might be thinking like, uh, I don't know if I'd be able to put much down, right?

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How'd you do how'd you do on your list?

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Okay.

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Well, according to the experiences of those authors, Jay and Dave, from the book Art of Neighboring he's, after leading this exercise with thousands of people, they said the results are pretty strikingly consistent.

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They said about 10% of people can fill out the names of all eight of their neighbors.

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All right.

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So 10%.

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Wow.

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Okay.

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About 3% can fill out the second stuff where you kind of know a little bit more about them and you know, maybe their kids' names where they're from that kind of stuff.

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3% and less than 1% of people can fill out, like, you know, like some deeper stuff and really know about the lives of everybody in those eight homes.

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Okay.

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That's not a lot.

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Is it?

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Listen, when Jesus was asked to sum up all the lawn teachings of scripture into one command, he said to love God with everything you have all of our hearts and minds and strengths, and to love our neighbors as much as we love ourselves.

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And that's pretty simple and powerful, right?

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But most of us have turned this simple idea of loving our neighbors into a nice saying, maybe putting on bumper stickers or a refrigerator magnet, and then going on with our lives without actually putting much of that into intentional practice.

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And it takes intentionality, but what would happen if every follower of Jesus took this great commandment?

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That's what it's called.

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Right?

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Literally what if every Christian took that literally, is it possible that the solution to society's biggest problems and all the stuff we're facing right now?

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The solution has been right under our nose for the past 2000 years.

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So hard question to ask ourselves is, are we fulfilling the great commandment with our actual neighbors?

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Are, we love God with all of your heart and your mind and your soul and your strength, everything you have and love your neighbors in the same way.

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Are we fulfilling that?

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I can remember my buddy, Kevin Turner, an old friend of mine, who I travel all over the world and did short terms, mission short-term missions with him and relief work.

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Uh, he wants to tell me that he wouldn't take.

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On overseas mission trips.

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If they didn't know their neighbors names and had that started building relationships with them and gotten to the point of having spiritual conversations with many of them, you know, he was like, well, why would I want to take people who don't make disciples here or ever share their faith or love on people deeply?

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Why would I want to spend tons of money or have them raise a ton of money and take it overseas to export?

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Right.

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Well, you know, it's the same way here.

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So many of us were wanting to live on mission or even, I know a lot of you listening are leading churches and all that.

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How well do you know your neighbors?

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And are you fulfilling the great commandment?

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I remember when I was working at the mega church and it was a lot of hours and, you know, I was in that building on that campus all the time.

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And I can remember getting to a point where it's like, I do not have one single relationship with not yet believer.

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I only have friends from church, mostly staff.

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When I come home, I kind of hide.

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I kind of fall out.

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I'm done, you know, and I realized that's not right.

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And if that's where we're at, as pastors, as you know, leaders in the church, are people doing any better?

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I don't think they were.

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Okay, so food for thought, right?

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So let's start to be better neighbors this summer.

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Okay.

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Now, if you're anything like a lot of people in those same statistics that I gave earlier about how many people really know the neighbors, we've got some work to do to get to know your closest neighbors.

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Here are a few quick tips on ways to do that and practice some good neighboring.

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Okay.

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Start throwing parties or dinner parties.

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this summer, like barbecues or breakfast club where you do like a note, you know, like a, brunch or something, um, or happy hours, or organize a picnic, or maybe some sort of an opportunity to serve together in the neighborhood or in your city.

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And then if you do that, have a picnic or some sort of meal together.

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And you want to get into a predictable pattern.

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That's the thing, don't do a, one-off pick a day of the week and say, well, you know what, we're all we're going to start doing happy hours, or we're going to start doing an open table, but it's going to be like a barbecue, unless it rains.

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Then we'll just come on inside, you know, hand out flyers, go door to door and meet them, invite them to join you.

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I know that seems like extra work and it's corny, but let me just tell you, you get 80%.

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Points quote unquote with someone, even if they don't make it just because they saw you face to face and they love being invited.

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So even if folks do not come to your party, they're going to love it.

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And here's another thing.

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This is another super like high-end user tip.

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If folks don't come to your party or your barbecue or whatever you're doing, it's awesome to take them some food or dessert from the party.

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Anyway say, Hey, yeah, we missed you and help you make it next time.

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But I know life's crazy busy.

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We'll be doing it again next week.

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But I brought you some pie or I brought you some leftover ribs or whatever.

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That is awesome.

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When you throw a dinner party or a neighborhood meal together, you really get to know people easily, right?

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And you can start to over time, you'll start to notice who are those people that are coming consistently, keep an eye on those.

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Those might be.

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You're People of Peace and you can start to cross pollinate relationships among folks, as well by asking good questions and listening.

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Well, let me give you three real quick questions that we love to do.

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You can't do this every week, right?

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But like, let's say you get your first one and you get some handful of people together and you could follow up on this and go, Hey, last week we did this, but you guys weren't here, but I asked these three questions and they completely.

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Break people down, like in the best way.

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And you get to know a little bit about them.

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Where were you born?

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Like, what is the city and state you were born?

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What country?

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Where what is your favorite childhood memory?

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And the third thing is what is the worst job you ever had?

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And so what we usually do is we go around and we go like, Hey, I got some questions just to kind of get, help us, get to know each other.

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Let's all go around.

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and I usually do this, like once we're seated.

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So it's, you know, it's easier people aren't like spread out all over the yard or whatever, obviously.

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Where were you born?

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You're going to find people going like, oh no, that's crazy.

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My dad's from there.

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Or like, I was born there too.

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Oh my gosh.

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You know, or whatever.

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What's your favorite childhood memory?

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Always amazing.

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Get to know a lot about it.

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I've had a few people say I don't have any, um, knew that that tells you a lot as well.

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And what's the worst job you ever had.

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That's usually hilarious.

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So check those out.

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That'll help you start to break the ice and start to get to know people in some stuff and you can add it to your list.

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Okay.

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Here's some other stuff.

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How might you start to bless some of your neighbors that are starting to, you know, regularly interact with them?

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And those People of Peace in either word action or gift . That's, that's how we train and disciple people is like, look to, you know, we're blessed to be a blessing start living like you believe it, right?

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Like pray and ask God to show you who to bless.

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And either with your words or actions or gift, can you imagine how a few families who were together living on mission or even just your family alone, if that's all you have right now can you imagine the impact you can have on a neighborhood if you're blessing three people or families a week throughout the entire summer.

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You know, a word, get an encouragement or you drop a note, or something off or a gift.

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Hey, so you had a baby or, you know, we were talking about this the other day and I love this thing.

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So I just want to drop that off.

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I, you know, I had two, or I got you on, you know, a little something, or maybe it's an action blessing where you serve them in some way.

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Hey, you're talking about needing to pull all your weeds.

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Are you gonna pull out some bushes this weekend?

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Uh, here I am.

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I got my stuff and I love it.

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I love helping.

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Right.

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And so can you imagine the impact.

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That your family would have, or if you're doing this with a handful of families already in community, if you started praying and asking God to show you who are three people, we could bless this week, word action and gift, write it down, share it with each other, do it.

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When you guys get back together as a community, talk about it, how those things go, it's powerful and it's simple and it's really, really fun.

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And I would encourage you to get your kids involved.

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Okay.

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So there you go.

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There's sort of some rapid fire.

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Ideas on how to really dig in this summer.

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None of it's heavy lifting, but it does take intentionality.

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All right.

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I hope that's helpful.

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I hope that you'll dive into some of those things and I know they'll work for you is as simple.

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It really isn't about a bunch of hard extra stuff.

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It's really some intentionality like, think about, well, yeah, but we don't throw barbecues every week.

Caesar: 00:18:24

Well, but you eat those nights.

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Right.

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Anyway.

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So there you go.

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Well, Hey, as always.

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I want to leave you with the big three takeaways from today's discussion from today's topic.

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So if nothing else, you don't want to miss these.

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All right.

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And by the way, you can always get the big three as a printable PDF for like a free download.

Caesar: 00:18:43

All you have to do is go to Everyday Disciple dot com forward slash big three, and you can get those downloaded.

Caesar: 00:18:49

All right, let me get a little sip here.

Caesar: 00:18:52

All right.

Caesar: 00:18:52

I hope that didn't sound too weird.

Caesar: 00:18:53

And we're going to dive into the big three.

Caesar: 00:18:55

Okay.

Caesar: 00:18:55

Here's the first one.

Caesar: 00:18:56

Don't miss it.

Caesar: 00:18:57

Summer's a great time with plenty of good reasons to get out and about and mix it up with your neighbors more often, especially now, after coming out of this pandemic, lockdown and extreme social distancing, people are more ready than ever to be reconnecting with others.

Caesar: 00:19:12

And are more open to hanging out and being with people.

Caesar: 00:19:16

So it kind of the way has been paved to find your people a peace you need to first be a person of peace.

Caesar: 00:19:23

So throw parties, go to parties, go for walks, ask lots of questions and trust God that he'll glorify himself through all that he really will.

Caesar: 00:19:32

Number two, don't miss this.

Caesar: 00:19:33

Jesus said to love God with all our hearts and mind.

Caesar: 00:19:37

And strength and to love our neighbors as ourselves.

Caesar: 00:19:39

And just want to say this great commandment is critical in fulfilling his great commission, which is make disciples.

Caesar: 00:19:47

Okay.

Caesar: 00:19:47

Don't let fear of man or performance, anxiety, or past experiences with your neighbors,

Caesar: 00:19:53

keep you from trusting God to guide you this summer.

Caesar: 00:19:56

You already have his perfect love and acceptance, regardless of which neighbors respond to your attempts to build new relationships.

Caesar: 00:20:03

Okay, so you can feel free and sent by our heavenly father to invite everyone to a place at the table and leave the results to him.

Caesar: 00:20:12

Third, go ahead and do that experiment, make a list of your eight closest neighbors homes using that outline I spoke about earlier from the art of neighboring, write down their names and anything you know about the people in those homes and make it your goal.

Caesar: 00:20:26

To complete your list by the end of the summer.

Caesar: 00:20:29

See, just there you go.

Caesar: 00:20:30

What if, that was just primarily the primary goal?

Caesar: 00:20:33

I'm going to get to know these people.

Caesar: 00:20:34

I'm gonna be able to answer those questions.

Caesar: 00:20:36

Now this will take some pretty great intentionality, but if you'll do this prayerfully and expectantly, you will most definitely find new people of peace and you'll see your community growing in size and growing closer.

Caesar: 00:20:48

And this is all a key component to making disciples.

Caesar: 00:20:51

Okay, so go ahead and get out there.

Caesar: 00:20:54

I'm going to throw some, uh, links to where to find your people a peace that episode on the big three, and also in the show notes this week for you.

Caesar: 00:21:03

And I'll put a link to the book, the art of neighboring full of great advice and tons of stuff in there.

Caesar: 00:21:08

Okay.

Caesar: 00:21:08

Well, that's about it for today.

Caesar: 00:21:10

I'll talk to you soon.

Caesar: 00:21:11

Thanks for being here with me.

Announcer: 00:21:14

Thanks for joining us today.

Announcer: 00:21:15

For more information on this show and to get loads of free discipleship resources, visit Everyday Disciple dot com.