Why Aren’t Christians Happier?
Many Christians believe that knowing Jesus should naturally make us happy… yet, if we’re honest, a lot of us don’t always feel that way. Why aren’t Christians happier people?
This week on the Everyday Disciple Podcast, we talk with author and pastor David McDonald about how happiness isn’t something we arrive at—it’s something we practice. We explore why happiness is more than a feeling—it’s a reflection of the gospel at work in us. True happiness is possible, no matter your past or personality, when grace begins shaping who you’re becoming.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- What true happiness is and how the Bible defines it.
- Why Christians often struggle to live joyfully.
- Why Jesus was likely the happiest person who ever lived.
- Simple, gospel-centered steps to start experiencing more joy today.
From this episode:
“As Christians, knowing that we are “saved” doesn’t always produce a life full of happiness. But the Gospel speaks grace over us and into our lives and produces fertile ground for a truly happy life. Will you embark on the pursuit of happiness?”
Each week the Big 3 will give you immediate action steps to get you started.
Download today’s BIG 3 right now. Read and think over them again later. You might even want to share them with others…
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Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
The Gospel In Everyday Life Workshop Register Now FREE
Coaching and Mentorship in Missional Living by Caesar and his wife Tina
Resources for missional living and group training – Missio Publishing
Get Caesar’s latest book: Bigger Gospel for FREE… Click here.
Transcript
How much of happiness do you think flows out of our understanding of the story we find ourselves in or believe and our identity, and how
David McDonald:much of it flows from that?
David McDonald:It's absolutely huge.
David McDonald:I think even, you know, as a Christian, of course, I, I'm modeling myself after Jesus, insofar as I'm able to, I wanna invite the spirit of God to transform me from the inside.
David McDonald:But, but even Jesus as our prototype, Jesus as the perfect image of God, Jesus is the first fully realized human being.
David McDonald:If, if we get Jesus wrong, if we make assumptions about Jesus that are unbiblical or, or truncated somehow, that then the prototype that we have for godly humanity is skewed.
David McDonald:And that story that we're living out of is skewed also.
David McDonald:So, for example, a huge question that most Christian people get stumbled over is, was Jesus happy?
David McDonald:And most Christians will tell you, well, no, not really.
David McDonald:Um, you know, I mean, look, he, he died.
David McDonald:You know, you never see pictures of Jesus joking around.
David McDonald:He doesn't tell any puns.
David McDonald:So we, we have this goofy vision of Jesus as being quite austere, um mm-hmm.
David McDonald:Serious and, and mostly angry.
David McDonald:Like he's kind of stamping around from, you know, Gospel to Gospel, a lambasting, Pharisees, CS.
Heath Hollensbe:Welcome to the Everyday Disciple Podcast, where you'll learn how to live with greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits into every area of life.
Heath Hollensbe:In other words, discipleship as a lifestyle.
Heath Hollensbe:This is the stuff your parents, pastors and seminary professors probably forgot to tell you.
Heath Hollensbe:And now here's your host, Caesar Kalinowski.
Caesar Kalinowski:Good morning.
Caesar Kalinowski:Is it afternoon?
Caesar Kalinowski:Is it morning?
Caesar Kalinowski:Where are you listening?
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't know.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're all over the place.
Caesar Kalinowski:I am all
Heath Hollensbe:over the place.
Heath Hollensbe:It's, it's aft newly afternoon here in Tacoma or gig cover.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, it's afternoon.
Caesar Kalinowski:I cannot even still believe the amazing weather that we continue to get here in the PN dub.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's beautiful.
Caesar Kalinowski:So northwest, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And uh, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't deserve it, but I am enjoying the heck
Heath Hollensbe:out of it.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:If you're not from here, you do recognize.
Heath Hollensbe:You need to know that, that we live here for the summer, like we put up with the rest of the year for the summers.
Heath Hollensbe:And so when it delivers, it's incredible.
Heath Hollensbe:So we'll ride this wave as long as it'll Yeah, let us, and,
Caesar Kalinowski:and it's, it is a fallacy.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't want too many people in on the trick, but it's a fallacy that just rains all the time here.
Caesar Kalinowski:We, I don't think we've had rain in, what, 68 days or something.
Caesar Kalinowski:We just don't want people here and my grass is hollering about, so hey, I'm pretty excited about to, uh, today's show.
Caesar Kalinowski:But before we get into that, heath.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, I just wanna thank, say thanks again to our listeners who've gone on over at iTunes.
Caesar Kalinowski:Mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And they've subscribed to the show that way they're getting it.
Caesar Kalinowski:I can see like every Monday, every Monday, like the numbers are going up of how many people are just boom, right on it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:And they've subscribed and they've rated it, you know, many stars and they've left some really cool reviews too, which is Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Humbling and
Heath Hollensbe:fun.
Heath Hollensbe:Right?
Heath Hollensbe:Man, it's cool to see, man.
Heath Hollensbe:The, the two that stand out since even we last recorded was, uh, Mike Deco, I think is his name.
Heath Hollensbe:Maybe.
Heath Hollensbe:Okay.
Heath Hollensbe:He says he loves the podcast.
Heath Hollensbe:Great resource.
Heath Hollensbe:If you're wanting to learn more about Missional communities and discipleship lifestyle, we always leave encouraged and challenged.
Heath Hollensbe:Nice job guys.
Heath Hollensbe:Thanks, Mike.
Heath Hollensbe:Thanks, Mike.
Heath Hollensbe:Good hearing from you and then also discipleship.
Heath Hollensbe:That's doable.
Heath Hollensbe:Left a really meaningful comment that was just helpful, saying that at times I struggle with the amount of Christian material that's so condemning that if you don't follow exactly.
Heath Hollensbe:The Bible that people say the way you should, that you won't be with him in heaven.
Heath Hollensbe:And that pushes him typically away from the opposite direction that God wants from him.
Heath Hollensbe:But that this show's helping him like encourage him with something to build up throughout life, knowing that it's all a process and we're loved completely by God from the beginning to wherever you end up.
Heath Hollensbe:So,
Caesar Kalinowski:wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:Good news.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's good news.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I'm glad that he's getting that.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm glad that our listeners are, I know we get a lot of other emails and comments as well.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, uh, this is such a labor of love for us.
Caesar Kalinowski:I know.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:We have a blast every time we get to be together and record these things and answer the comments, but, uh, I'm glad that that's soaking in, that the good news can actually be a part of everyday life, all of life.
Caesar Kalinowski:The hashtag eternity now.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah,
Heath Hollensbe:that's a good hashtag.
Heath Hollensbe:Hey, and the other thing I just wanted to say thanks for is those people that, I mean, last week's topic was pretty heavy based on where is God and and natural disasters, and specifically what's happening in Houston.
Heath Hollensbe:So those people that went to the Red Cross and texted money to give or jumped on Samaritan's Purse website.
Heath Hollensbe:Just wanna say thanks for our listeners.
Heath Hollensbe:You guys rock.
Heath Hollensbe:Thanks for helping find that.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:If
Caesar Kalinowski:you missed last week's episode 1 28, um, that was kind of off the cuff, just our hearts.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sharing our own response to this and kinda asking that tough question of like, where's God at, in the middle of disaster and all that absolute.
Caesar Kalinowski:Anyway, so thanks for your response.
Caesar Kalinowski:Not everybody is always perfectly happy and wants, you know, us to go maybe different directions, but we're here just kind of being real and giving it to you.
Caesar Kalinowski:So anyway, Hey, this week
Heath Hollensbe:is what got pushed back from last week.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:David McDonald.
Heath Hollensbe:Beast of a man.
Heath Hollensbe:He, he describes himself even on his church website.
Heath Hollensbe:It says 200 pounds of premature wisdom and never ending youth with pale skin and dark tattoos.
Heath Hollensbe:And that subs, the,
Caesar Kalinowski:that is so David, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:David.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's crazy.
Caesar Kalinowski:David, how, how can you be one of the funniest guys in the world and one of the probably smartest guys I've ever met?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, no joke, double right.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, so I'm, I'm fortunate 'cause I get to work with him as part of this graduate program I'm going through.
Heath Hollensbe:He's been my mentor for the last year and will be for this next year.
Heath Hollensbe:So every week I get a weekly call and he's kind of coaching me through certain aspects of life.
Heath Hollensbe:You're like you said, he is, um, so incredibly intelligent and for many years he's been called the most innovative pastor in America.
Heath Hollensbe:And the stuff he's doing every week is just mind blowing.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:It is.
Heath Hollensbe:Taking
Caesar Kalinowski:risks and challenges.
Caesar Kalinowski:I, I don't know, he has the, the bandwidth for that alone.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:On top of that, he writes like two or three books a year.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:He's a great dad and uh, and killer books.
Caesar Kalinowski:They're not just like, he's Jesus Heath.
Caesar Kalinowski:We've met him.
Caesar Kalinowski:He's Jesus with tattoos.
Caesar Kalinowski:And
Heath Hollensbe:he
Caesar Kalinowski:is Canadian.
Heath Hollensbe:Is
Caesar Kalinowski:he?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Really?
Heath Hollensbe:Originally.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, let's get him
David McDonald:on
Caesar Kalinowski:here,
David McDonald:man.
David McDonald:Hey
Heath Hollensbe:David, thanks for
David McDonald:joining us today.
David McDonald:Hey, my pleasure you guys.
David McDonald:Thanks.
David McDonald:Damn.
David McDonald:I am a very happy person.
David McDonald:I have always been, uh, on the more energetic, boisterous side, but I've been pursuing.
David McDonald:Be being happier for, for some time now, mostly because I think like a lot of naturally exuberant people I, I struggle with, with depression and, and melancholy and that, that, you know, that's a common thing among creatives especially.
David McDonald:And so I just wanted to figure out, you know, c can I level out at a higher optimization?
David McDonald:You know, can I, can I be happier all the time instead of being happy, sad, happy, sad, you know?
David McDonald:Can I, can I. Uh, Desy myself.
David McDonald:Do you think
Caesar Kalinowski:that sometimes you look like you're happy on the outside 'cause that's sort your default mode, but inside you're actually struggling with stuff?
David McDonald:You know, I'm not like that.
David McDonald:I, I I don't ever feel like the, what, what's going on inside is disconnected from the outside.
David McDonald:I'd rather be an open book and, and have people get mad at me or, or treat me weird if I, if I'm not perfect in the moment than sort of front or put on a facade.
David McDonald:And, and that's one of the things I actually really love about the church where I work and the, the friends and the family that I have.
David McDonald:Is, is that value of authenticity is, is really elevated.
David McDonald:So, so that's cool.
David McDonald:That, that takes a lot of pressure off, you know,
Caesar Kalinowski:that flips around the age old statement of, you know, happy I'm gonna, I'm gonna flip it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Happy life, happy wife.
Caesar Kalinowski:That must be amazing for your wife.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:To live with a guy who's like real, like she knows what's going on.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's not, you're not faking it.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're not wearing a mask of happiness.
Caesar Kalinowski:So happy life, happy wife
David McDonald:is, is very open about the fact that, that she thinks she's married to the happiest person alive.
David McDonald:So that, that's cool.
David McDonald:That's bonus.
David McDonald:Well, it's kind of,
Heath Hollensbe:it's kind of in the DNA of of Canadians to be happy, right?
Heath Hollensbe:Like I've not met, I've never met a pissed off Canadian.
David McDonald:Oh, we export all our spite into the
Caesar Kalinowski:geese.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:So dude, but you're not as happy as the Danes.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm just gonna tell you that right now.
Caesar Kalinowski:Every year they win.
Caesar Kalinowski:They're the happiest people in the world.
David McDonald:Really?
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and you know, they, they've surveyed the heck outta that.
Caesar Kalinowski:'cause year after year, the Danes, they're just happy.
David McDonald:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:That, you know, on all these indicators, and I'm sure you've researched the heck outta this, I'm probably eating up some of your stuff here today, but they, you know why they say they, they've come up with it.
Caesar Kalinowski:What's that?
Caesar Kalinowski:And they all agreed.
Caesar Kalinowski:They go, they have such low expectations of anything working out in life that they feel pretty good about everything.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So,
Heath Hollensbe:so something actually goes right and it's reason to Sullivan.
Heath Hollensbe:Anyway, let's get back to the expert.
Heath Hollensbe:Okay.
Heath Hollensbe:So, dude, uh, you're, we just said, uh, here in your intro that you're an extensive author and your capacity to pastor and, and write books and teach college courses and all that.
Heath Hollensbe:Uh.
Heath Hollensbe:You're writing a ton of books and you happen to write this book, the Adventure of Happiness, what led you, uh, to tackle happiness in the first place?
Heath Hollensbe:Like why that concept?
David McDonald:Yeah.
David McDonald:I, uh, I do some executive coaching for, for the CEO of the largest level health, health organization in southern Michigan.
David McDonald:Okay.
David McDonald:And he in positive psychology is really concerned with happiness.
David McDonald:And he'd grown up as a Catholic and had been attending our church for a long time, and he wanted to know why doesn't the Bible say anything about happiness?
David McDonald:And at first I pushed back, I said, what does happiness is all over the place, but, but the biblical term is joy.
David McDonald:And I spun that old Christian yarn.
David McDonald:You know that, that happiness is momentary, it's fleeting, it's circumstantial, but joy, that that's the real, that's the deep stuff.
David McDonald:Yeah.
David McDonald:That's the big thing.
David McDonald:The real thing.
David McDonald:And happiness is, you know.
David McDonald:Flighty and, and, and untrustworthy, but joy is what Christians have.
David McDonald:Sure.
David McDonald:Uh, and he brought that.
David McDonald:Uh, but, but over the next, you know, four or five years, we'll begin to really dive into positive psychology, um, philosophy and, and theology about happiness.
David McDonald:And I, and I learned that that actually what I was telling him wasn't accurate.
David McDonald:Huh?
David McDonald:In fact, all in the biblical languages.
David McDonald:Well, happiness and joy are always synonyms.
David McDonald:So, so this whole thing that we kind of grew up on, um, that, you know, happiness is like fake joy.
David McDonald:Sure.
David McDonald:This is totally baloney.
David McDonald:It is not, it's not accurate at all, which really shook me up and a, allowed me to, to go back to the Bible with fresh eyes and, and ask good questions and, and, and kind of di dive in that way.
David McDonald:So.
David McDonald:After probably seven or eight years that we've been talking weekly about happiness, uh, directly or indirectly, I realized this was material not only that I needed and was benefiting from, uh, but that I might, you know, compile and share with others and, and it's really meaningful.
David McDonald:Really cool.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, I mean, it's kind of that old adage, right?
Heath Hollensbe:Like, well, you know, sin might make you happy, but it'll never give you the joy that Jesus will give you.
Heath Hollensbe:And you're like, so you're, what you're saying is like, no, it actually, it'll give you happiness as well.
David McDonald:Yeah, I, I, I think that Christians for, for too long have poo-pooed happiness, like as though being happy is somehow sinful or counterfeit.
David McDonald:Um, but, but, but I think, you know, if you understand happiness as it really is, if you really do have that resident joy, sometimes it's gonna break out in frivolity, in, in novelty, in, in the giggles, in, in friendship, in open-hearted laughter.
David McDonald:I don't know what else you'd call that other than happening
Caesar Kalinowski:dancing
David McDonald:naked, maybe like David.
David McDonald:Yeah.
David McDonald:Cool.
David McDonald:Hey, but I don't have any dancing naked on my resume just yet, so it must be, you know, king David.
David McDonald:But yeah, there was that one
Caesar Kalinowski:time though, not there was that one time
David McDonald:we
Caesar Kalinowski:went hunting.
Caesar Kalinowski:Remember?
Caesar Kalinowski:But I won't talk about
David McDonald:that.
David McDonald:Yeah.
David McDonald:Unless you could be happy in prison.
David McDonald:But I think there's a whole category of things that are okay for people in the Bible that aren't okay for me.
David McDonald:Like Jesus can hang out with all the prostitutes that he wants.
David McDonald:That's not a great move for me.
David McDonald:She hasn't a married man.
David McDonald:No, good point.
Caesar Kalinowski:So you not only read, kind of dug into scripture then and did a little bit of clarifying and, and you know.
Caesar Kalinowski:Re sorting a bit of that.
Caesar Kalinowski:But you did a lot of research and talked to a lot of people too, that were, we'll just say secular, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like they weren't necessarily coming at happiness in their understanding of it, or lack of it, uh, based on biblical truth or understanding.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Tell, tell us a little bit about that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah,
David McDonald:yeah.
David McDonald:Absolutely.
David McDonald:I, I like Oswald, uh, uh, Oz Guinness's thing, where all truth is God's truth regardless of where we find it.
David McDonald:Amen.
David McDonald:Um, and, and I found a lot of really biblically resonant truth.
David McDonald:Out outside of a scriptural context, and, and that was really helpful to me.
David McDonald:You know,
Caesar Kalinowski:what surprised you most about either your study of happiness or even how, what you found out from, you know, extra biblical authors or, or, or
David McDonald:insight?
David McDonald:Well, what, what surprised me the most was that every group of people that studied happiness, again, philosophers.
David McDonald:Positive psychologists, academic researchers, theologians, they all came to largely the same conclusions about how you get happier.
David McDonald:And they all had a different diagnoses.
David McDonald:You know, theologians and pastors were saying, you're unhappy 'cause you're sinful.
David McDonald:Positive psychologists might say, you know, you're unhappy 'cause you haven't trained your mind to think appropriately, whatever.
David McDonald:But they all said, this is how you get happier.
David McDonald:And so that's actually what I focused on.
David McDonald:I thought, wait a minute, if they're all giving the same prescription.
David McDonald:Regardless of their diagnoses, then probably the things they're prescribing ha have good merit to them.
David McDonald:Sure.
David McDonald:And, and we do those things.
David McDonald:And as a Christian, I'd often felt like if I could believe certain things or think certain things, then my thoughts and, and my feelings, my beliefs would result in different behaviors.
David McDonald:That's true to a point.
David McDonald:But, but, but you can get there a lot faster if you behave in happy ways.
David McDonald:And then sort of reprogram your body, reprogram your mind to do happy things.
David McDonald:Um, so for example, e exercise is, is is a great, for instance, because nobody wants to exercise.
David McDonald:I was fat and I was miserable and I was eating garbagey food and I didn't wanna go to the gym.
David McDonald:Sure.
David McDonald:And so I thought if I could convince myself that exercise would make me happier, I'd go.
David McDonald:And I never did.
David McDonald:And the truth was once I just went, even though I didn't want to and started doing things that we know statistically and empirically produce happiness, I got happier even though I didn't yet believe that that's what would produce happiness.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:So how much of, how much of happiness is.
Caesar Kalinowski:Connected to this, you know, um, you get to choose your response to the stimuli in life.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like what happens, what someone says, what, what goes down?
Caesar Kalinowski:How much of happiness is connected to choice or any Oh yeah, no, a significant amount.
Caesar Kalinowski:I mean, it, it
David McDonald:really tricky to quantify that.
David McDonald:Um, but there's a whole category of thought, uh, in, in context of studying happiness that describes the stories we tell ourselves.
David McDonald:Uh, narratives and counteracts.
David McDonald:The way we explain why things happen to us in particular ways, the justifications we provide, whether or not we choose to frame ourselves as a victim, regardless of the fact that we might actually have been a victim, but, but the fact that we can tell ourselves a different story ch changes dramatically the way we feel about the things that are happening to us and empowers us to respond in new and exciting ways.
Caesar Kalinowski:How much of happiness do you think flows out of our understanding of the story we find ourselves in or believe and our identity?
Caesar Kalinowski:And how much of it flows from that?
David McDonald:Well, that, that's huge.
David McDonald:That's absolutely huge.
David McDonald:Um, I think even, you know, as a Christian, of course, I'm modeling myself after Jesus insofar as I'm able to, I wanna invite the spirit of God to transform me from the inside out, but, but even Jesus as our prototype.
David McDonald:Jesus is the perfect image of God.
David McDonald:Jesus is the first fully realized human being.
David McDonald:If, if we get Jesus wrong, if we, if we make assumptions about Jesus that are unbiblical or, or truncated somehow, then, then the, the prototype that we have for godly humanity is skewed.
David McDonald:And, and that story that we're living out of is, is skewed also.
David McDonald:So, for example, a huge question that most Christian people get stumbled over is, is, was Jesus happy?
David McDonald:And most Christians will tell you, well, no, not really.
David McDonald:Um, you know, I mean, look, he got, he died, you know, he was estranged from his, his mom, his brothers hated him.
David McDonald:Uh, he, you know, he, he went to, you know, you never see pictures of Jesus joking around.
David McDonald:He doesn't tell any puns.
David McDonald:Um, and so, so we, we have this goofy vision of Jesus as being quite austere.
David McDonald:Um, mm-hmm.
David McDonald:Serious and, and mostly angry.
David McDonald:Like he's kind of stamping around from, you know, Gospel to gospel, uh, lamb basting, Pharisees.
David McDonald:Uh, but, but no, that's his dad.
David McDonald:That's his dad.
David McDonald:His dad is angry.
David McDonald:But, but, but if you flip the camera around and, and you ask yourself what Jesus did.
David McDonald:And, and do the things Jesus did produce happiness.
David McDonald:You, you're gonna find out that yes, Jesus put into practice a lot of the things that happiness researchers tell us will provide, uh, a greater sense of enjoyment and, and meaning and satisfaction.
Caesar Kalinowski:For
David McDonald:instance,
Caesar Kalinowski:like, give us a couple of those.
David McDonald:I wanna get happy.
David McDonald:Uh, like, like his eating habits.
David McDonald:Uh, Jesus never ate alone.
David McDonald:Jesus ate with anybody.
David McDonald:Jesus enjoyed the company of people who offered it to him.
David McDonald:Um, more significantly, Jesus had a sense of, uh, a larger sense of purpose and calling in all of his actions.
David McDonald:So even knowing that he was gonna go through some difficult things, the fact that he understood those difficult things served a larger purpose wa was significant.
David McDonald:Wow.
David McDonald:And I got good man.
David McDonald:Yeah.
David McDonald:And I got a, I got a, a big blog post.
David McDonald:I, I, I think I outlined 15 different things that, that prove sort of, that Jesus was happy, uh, based on our examples.
David McDonald:And give us another one.
David McDonald:This is fascinating to me.
Caesar Kalinowski:Give us another one.
David McDonald:Okay, here's one.
David McDonald:Uh, Jesus sought out the company of women.
David McDonald:This continues to fascinate me that Jesus as a, as a, as a childless, lifeless Jewish male in second Temple Palestine would've been totally isolated.
David McDonald:And, and, and by all accounts, he, he was just lonesome.
David McDonald:The fact that he had these women disciples, you know, uh, Mary Magdalene, Mary Martha, Joanna, um, the fact that he engaged people like the Canaanite woman, the sero Phoenician woman, the Samaritan woman at the well, uh, the, the fact that he was always countermanding his natural isolation with, with friendships that were perceived as risky and yet gave immediate respect and personhood to the women that he befriended.
David McDonald:But elevating them above their cultural station was huge.
David McDonald:That that, that's massively massive happiness inducing.
David McDonald:Also, Jesus was creative.
David McDonald:Um, th think about he, you know, he's got what, 50 odd parables, right?
David McDonald:Only a couple of sermons, but, but his parables demonstrate his commitment to work on his craft.
David McDonald:I mean, go ahead and try and write a 75 word parable that changes the world.
David McDonald:Lemme know how that goes for you.
David McDonald:You don't just because you're like our No kidding.
David McDonald:Actually
Heath Hollensbe:the original TED Talk.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Right.
David McDonald:He would've had to have work on those things.
David McDonald:Um, and, and so often, again, you know, Jesus is, is twisting conventions.
David McDonald:He's defying conventions.
David McDonald:Uh, the, the fact that the parables sometimes show up differently in the different Gospel accounts demonstrate at the very least that Jesus was willing to contextualize his parables to his audience, again, showing at the very least that he could think on the fly.
David McDonald:If not that he was more strategic than that.
David McDonald:And again, we know creative people are happier, more fulfilled.
David McDonald:They find greater meaning, enjoyment in their life.
David McDonald:Uh, Jesus sang.
David McDonald:Uh, on the cross, Jesus sang Psalm 22.
David McDonald:All the different, you know, the, the, whatever it is, the, the seven Last Words of Christ are all from Psalm 22.
David McDonald:He was singing, so he was reframing his negative experiences into positive experiences, choosing not to see himself as a victim, but instead as someone experiencing victory over death promised by God, which again, ma massive evidence Wow.
David McDonald:That Jesus was able to reframe the story of his life.
David McDonald:And, and again, you know, we, we go on, I think, yeah.
David McDonald:That's my, that's my short version.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, so I gotta ask this question 'cause this is like my favorite, one of my favorite things that Jesus has done and I've, I've always tried to get my head around it and I've got some thoughts on it, but I want to ask like, the smartest guy on the show today.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, so Jesus, Jesus first miracle surprises me and still does to this day, um, that he shows up at a party.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, a part, a wedding feast that's going on.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I know there's a lot of wedding, uh, stuff connected there, but there's still, he shows up at a large cultural event.
Caesar Kalinowski:People are partying their guts out and his first miracle is to like, just supplying some killer wine, hundreds of gallons of killer wine.
Caesar Kalinowski:'cause they're running out.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, uh, what anything there man?
Caesar Kalinowski:'cause I, I've always, I love that event and I, anything there with his understanding of the kingdom, his dad, why he's here, happiness.
David McDonald:Yeah, a absolutely.
David McDonald:I think, of course, that's very fertile soil.
David McDonald:I think what, what's even more important though, because you mentioned all the good stuff right away, right?
David McDonald:You know that Jesus en enjoys parties and celebrations, families and marriages.
David McDonald:Jesus is a family guy.
David McDonald:Jesus is a cultured guy.
David McDonald:Jesus is a social guy.
David McDonald:Jesus is a tribe guy.
David McDonald:God is a God of abundance.
David McDonald:God is a God of richness.
David McDonald:God is a God of blowing your mind and your imagination of exceeding every possible thing you could want.
David McDonald:All that stuff.
David McDonald:Yeah, all there for sure.
David McDonald:How, how about though that Jesus' mom comes to him and tells him to do something about this problem and he doesn't want to, that Jesus has a reluctance.
David McDonald:To sort of dance to the tune of his mom who brought him, but out of affection and fidelity to his earthly mother.
David McDonald:He, he's willing to go against his own preferences to serve that of someone he loves.
David McDonald:And now you might say, but he's also serving Yahweh.
David McDonald:But, but regardless, Jesus immediately is going like, Donald, Donald do this to me right now, and goes ahead and does it anyway.
David McDonald:But because all of those other things are true, because God is a God of abundance, because Jesus is on the side even of his own family.
David McDonald:Not just that of, of the, you know, the, the, the wedding and all that good jazz.
David McDonald:So yeah.
David McDonald:Talk about, yeah, talk about
Caesar Kalinowski:choose your response.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:That's awesome.
Caesar Kalinowski:So why do you think Christians.
Caesar Kalinowski:Aren't typically happier people.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't think we've got a street rep of being like, Hey, you know, I don't believe what my neighbors believe.
Caesar Kalinowski:But those guys are a blast.
Heath Hollensbe:They're so full of joy and Well, it's so funny 'cause like, I, I instantly, when I was thinking when you asked that question, I thought of, um, the church lady on snl, Dana Carvey know.
Heath Hollensbe:There you go.
Heath Hollensbe:The, the prudish, old organist that doesn't ever smile and is just irritated with everybody.
Heath Hollensbe:And I think the reason that's funny is, sorry to all the church organists and or
Caesar Kalinowski:mean church secretaries listening today and it's so
Heath Hollensbe:easy to stereotype, but you go like.
Heath Hollensbe:I think the reason that's funny is 'cause I've been in three or four churches where there's, I mean, that's the case.
Heath Hollensbe:Oh yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:He didn't make that up.
Heath Hollensbe:So if we're disciples of Jesus and we want to be like Jesus is or was.
Heath Hollensbe:What gives, where's that disconnect coming from?
Heath Hollensbe:Why aren't Christians happy?
David McDonald:I actually think it's a, an issue of our hama geology.
David McDonald:It's an issue of, of sin.
David McDonald:In, in, in that we, we tend to start, wait back up on that word.
David McDonald:Wait, back up on that word.
David McDonald:It's a problem with our theology of sin.
David McDonald:So we start the gospel with the fact that we're sinful and separated from God.
David McDonald:We serve, in essence, the gospel in Genesis chapter three with the fall of humanity from grace.
David McDonald:Instead of starting our sense of the gospel in Genesis chapter one W with with the original blessing, instead of the original curse of the original sin and and that fundamental hiccup.
David McDonald:C. C. C ripples throughout the way we behave, the way we believe, the way we interact.
David McDonald:For example, when we typically talk about repentance and restoration, we define it in terms of the absence of sin rather than the abundant, saturating presence of Jesus Christ.
David McDonald:So, so if you as a mental experiment, only because of course this won't wash theologically or, or practically, but just as a mental experiment, if you'll imagine what the world would be like if there were no sin.
David McDonald:If sin was in incapable, not, not even heaven.
David McDonald:I'm talking about, you know, what would Michigan be like if nobody could sin?
David McDonald:Uh, most Christians have have a real problem because they don't, they don't know what, like they don't know what more is in good ways.
David McDonald:They don't know what more joy is.
David McDonald:They don't know what more adventure is.
David McDonald:They don't know what more passion is.
David McDonald:They don't know what more creative pursuits are because so much of western evangelicalism is less, less, less.
David McDonald:You get a sin less.
David McDonald:You gotta do less of those bad things.
David McDonald:And if you're gonna do more, it's the way you gotta give more or repent more or pray more.
David McDonald:Uh, but, but we don't get any of like the positive attributes.
David McDonald:Like what is, what is kindness dialed up to 57 look like on a scale of five?
David McDonald:Wow.
David McDonald:That's good.
David McDonald:You know, what does, again, what, what does curiosity.
David McDonald:Look like, what does cooperative work with God look like, um, if, if, if, if there's no limits to it.
David McDonald:And I, and I think that thing right there, the fact that we don't press into sort of the, the positive attributes, the virtues, the, the abundance, the riches of Christ, the fact that we don't press in aggressively there as much as we press into.
David McDonald:Uh, hey, you know, hey, stop swearing.
David McDonald:Don't listen to that music.
David McDonald:Uh, pro probably shouldn't smoke and God forbid you have sex.
David McDonald:Well, and that's a,
Caesar Kalinowski:I think that's a, that's a gospel issue right?
Caesar Kalinowski:At its core.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hundred percent.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're not, we're not believing the fundamental truth about who God is and what he's accomplished and who he's created us to be and how he get to live.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's just, I thought you might
David McDonald:like that part about the gospel.
David McDonald:Yeah.
David McDonald:I mean, I, I was hoping that, um, so
Heath Hollensbe:David, it sounds like, um, it sounds like you're actually saying there's a. A relationship between happiness and holiness, that's a lot closer than we might ever have desired to put 'em before or ever even thought to put 'em before.
David McDonald:Well, y yes and no because, because your definition of holiness can sink or swim here.
David McDonald:Um, most e evangelical Christians define holiness as austerity.
David McDonald:Um, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're living scoured lives where, where God has burned off any wayward ambition, passion, or, or misdirected affection.
David McDonald:Um, and, and, and that's really only the first part of holiness.
David McDonald:Uh, yeah, because, because again, none of the fruits of the spirit are emptiness.
David McDonald:Like that's not part of what God wants.
David McDonald:The Yeah, he, he empties us so that he can fill us with himself.
David McDonald:Um, so, so I like to think of, of, uh, holiness in categories of relationship.
David McDonald:Um, if you think of Relational Holiness, which there is a great book by that title, by a couple of Nazarene pastors who came out probably 10 or 15 years ago.
David McDonald:Uh, but if you think of, of, of Holiness as a vibrant.
David McDonald:An engaged, optimized relationship with God, with the people around you, with yourself and, and with all of creation, then you're way closer to certainly a biblical understanding of what holiness is and what pleases God.
David McDonald:And I think then also that that optimization is, is way closer to an understanding of happiness too, but, but austerity, yeah.
David McDonald:Your spirit.
David McDonald:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, that's a great point.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's not one of the fruits of the spirit either, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Austerity.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Right.
Heath Hollensbe:Well, David, time is almost up already.
Heath Hollensbe:I wish we could keep going, but what we do, um, every week is we give away a big three.
Heath Hollensbe:And what that is, is like some three points that we could take away or even get started right now working with to help us grow in this area of, of happiness.
Heath Hollensbe:And we make it available for free by going to everyday Disciple dot com slash big three.
Heath Hollensbe:David, what would you say the big three are for this week that you present us with?
Heath Hollensbe:What's the big three you want our people to leave with?
David McDonald:Yeah.
David McDonald:First you gotta cultivate positivity, gratitude and optimism.
David McDonald:You, you gotta be thankful for what you got and ambitious about, what you got to look forward to.
David McDonald:And I think you cultivate that by writing it down, you know, sending it in, text messages to friends, jotting it down in journals.
David McDonald:But yeah, gratitude, positivity, optimism number two.
David McDonald:Um, you gotta stop defending what you think you know.
David McDonald:And begin instead iterating.
David McDonald:So, so don't, don't pretend that you get it all figured out.
David McDonald:Make little changes over and over and over again.
David McDonald:Hold everything loosely in terms of your, your eating, your sleeping, your thinking, your, your, your routine.
David McDonald:Um, you know, your, your ideas.
David McDonald:Hold and just keep iterating.
David McDonald:Don't defend it.
David McDonald:Don't become rich.
David McDonald:And then last number three.
David McDonald:Wow.
David McDonald:Hang on a second.
David McDonald:I wanna,
Caesar Kalinowski:I gotta, I gotta jump in on that one.
Caesar Kalinowski:This, that is, that is bigger than it might sound to our listeners.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:'cause uh, I think as humans, and maybe depending on the way your upbringing is or your personality types are, we get into ruts like crazy and we just keep doing the same stuff day in, day out, year after year.
Caesar Kalinowski:Physically, uh, emotionally, spiritually, the rhythms of life and wondering why things are exactly the same 10 years later.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the, and the same fights in your marriage and the same displeasure with your job or, or your belief of who you are and your own personal value.
Caesar Kalinowski:So that is key.
Caesar Kalinowski:What, what, what you just said there, brother.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's great, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:Go ahead.
Caesar Kalinowski:Number three, I cut you off.
Caesar Kalinowski:I had to
David McDonald:No, that's right.
David McDonald:You, you're good.
David McDonald:Um, uh, number three, um, you, you wanna pursue gratifications consistent with no bold purpose, meaning find good things.
David McDonald:Good things that, you know, line up with scripture, with, with the spirit of God.
David McDonald:And then, and then pursue achievements in those areas because when you achieve anything, you feel good about it and you're gonna feel really good about it.
David McDonald:If the things you're achieving are coincide with, with Jesus Bible, gospel, future kingdom.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I, and, and obviously that's not to earn anything that's already true of us because of who God is and what Christ has done.
David McDonald:Right.
David McDonald:And in no way does that get you to heaven.
David McDonald:But of course that definitely allows you to experience on Earth as it is in heaven.
David McDonald:This,
Heath Hollensbe:yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Beautiful dude, that's good.
Heath Hollensbe:It's so opposite from what most people probably have been taught.
Heath Hollensbe:Mine was always.
Heath Hollensbe:You know, anything that brings you joy, you need to cut that off because you're pursuing, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:What am I supposed supposed to do
Heath Hollensbe:next in life?
Heath Hollensbe:What's the big deal, pal?
Caesar Kalinowski:Probably whatever sucks the most.
Caesar Kalinowski:Nope.
Caesar Kalinowski:Alright.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, David.
Caesar Kalinowski:Awesome.
Caesar Kalinowski:Thank you so
David McDonald:much.
David McDonald:Hey, let, lemme leave you with this 'cause here's, here's, I don't know that you can use it, but since you're recording it, you can trim this in or not out.
David McDonald:But here's, here's all my research in a hundred words.
David McDonald:You ready?
David McDonald:It's, it's a hundred words of happiness.
David McDonald:It's as short as I can get the whole book.
David McDonald:Don't wait for life to be perfect before you enjoy it.
David McDonald:Cultivate positivity, gratitude and optimism.
David McDonald:Evaluate every tree by its fruit, not its soil.
David McDonald:Identify and appreciate happy memories by better groceries.
David McDonald:Increase time outside.
David McDonald:Meditation, creativity, failure, forgiveness, dancing, exercise, travel, sex, sleep, laughter, smiling, and sports.
David McDonald:Avoid unusable information, sitting emotionalizing, conflict, emphasizing circumstances, excessive screen use, being offended, thinking about yourself, perfectionism, dieting, dwelling on pain.
David McDonald:Pursue noble achievements.
David McDonald:Commit conscious acts of kindness.
David McDonald:Infuse your work with passion.
David McDonald:Don't kill time and live in it.
David McDonald:Reframe stress to focus on its positive effects and daily exercise.
David McDonald:A signature strength.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:Is it okay if we like send out like a copy of that with the big three?
Caesar Kalinowski:Could we just tag that on?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah,
David McDonald:absolutely.
David McDonald:I just, I just, um, put a meme oh God, on the Instagram of that today, you know, just stealing it.
David McDonald:Yeah, just a little sticker.
David McDonald:That was great.
David McDonald:'cause I'm like, oh man, that's like eight years worth of work in one, you know?
David McDonald:That is amazing, brother.
David McDonald:Thank
Caesar Kalinowski:you so much for that.
Heath Hollensbe:Hey David, if people wanna find out more about you, they can listen.
Heath Hollensbe:Uh, you're a fun hang, uh, following West Wind's Church.
Heath Hollensbe:Uh.
Heath Hollensbe:Jackson, Michigan.
Heath Hollensbe:Uh, they can Google that.
Heath Hollensbe:Um, also, your, your personal website that I steal a lot of content from and don't give you the credit you deserve is, uh, fosso.com Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Which is F-O-S-S-O-R-E s.com.
Heath Hollensbe:And if you wanna have your brain rattled a little bit.
Heath Hollensbe:That's where you can dig into some of stuff.
Heath Hollensbe:We'll put
Caesar Kalinowski:all this in the show notes.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You'll never know how to spell that again.
Caesar Kalinowski:And yeah, all that stuff you can get the big three, you can get that Cool.
Caesar Kalinowski:A hundred word summary of everything David knows about happiness.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and having it.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, uh, and the way again to get the big
Heath Hollensbe:three is by going to everyday Disciple dot com slash big three.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:David, thank you so much, brother, for being on and My pleasure guys.
Caesar Kalinowski:Thank you.
Caesar Kalinowski:I know our listeners are gonna blow up the comments and over on Facebook, in the Facebook group if folks haven't joined that.
Caesar Kalinowski:They should just go to Facebook and just search for Everyday Disciple Podcast and you know, request to join.
Heath Hollensbe:Thanks for joining us today.
Heath Hollensbe:For more information on this show and to get loads of free discipleship resources, visit everyday Disciple dot com.
Heath Hollensbe:And remember, you really can live with a spiritual freedom and relational peace that Jesus promised every day.