Tips For Hosting Community Meals

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Life on mission in community includes a lot of eating together. Your meals should reflect your life as a family—God’s family. Loving others well is far more important than what you serve or how perfect everything looks.

This week on the Everyday Disciple Podcast, we talk with Caesar’s wife Tina, a professional chef and hospitality expert. She gives us her best tips for hosting missional summer meals that are easy to do and won’t leave you frazzled.

In This Episode You’ll Learn:

  • Why it’s important to treat people like family, not like guests.
  • Meals that you can do easily and quickly.
  • Why theming your meals and parties is fun and super inviting for others
  • Some of Tina’s favorite and proven meals, recipes and party themes.

Friends and neighbors, young and old, enjoying a summer party outdoors.

From this episode:

“Keep it simple and keep your pantry stocked with the things you can do easily. Then, make lists, let people help and don’t worry about everything being perfect. No one is perfect and you will help people feel comfortable much more quickly if you are willing to be imperfect… with grace!”

Each week the Big 3 will give you immediate action steps to get you started.
Download today’s BIG 3 right now. Read and think over them again later. You might even want to share them with others…

Thanks for Listening!

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Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

Register NOW for Cigars & Theology LIVE with Caesar and Heath

In light of today’s topic, you might find this helpful:

Recipe for a Team K Favorite: Salami Eggs

Missio Publishing – More Missional Books and Resources

 

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Transcript
Tina Kalinowski:

Your meals should be a reflection of your life as a family.

Tina Kalinowski:

Everyone has their go to favorites, dinners that you can pull off even in your busiest and most stressed times.

Tina Kalinowski:

So share the meals that your family likes.

Tina Kalinowski:

Your family's favorites, they're most likely going to be the ones that are also going to be enjoyed by your friends, as well as the stories connected to those meals and the recipes.

Tina Kalinowski:

Remember that you are inviting people to experience dinner with the family, God's family, and loving them is far more important than what you serve or how you serve it, or who does and doesn't come.

Heath Hollensbe:

Welcome to the Everyday Disciple Podcast, where you'll learn how to live with greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits into every area of life.

Heath Hollensbe:

In other words, Discipleship as a Lifestyle.

Heath Hollensbe:

This is the stuff your parents, pastors, and seminary professors probably forgot to tell you.

Heath Hollensbe:

And now, here's your host, Caesar Kalinowski.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Hey Heath, good to be with you as always.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I'm excited for today's episode because, uh, My wife Tina's on with us

Caesar Kalinowski:

. Heath Hollensbe: Yeah, if you're wondering what that voice was you just heard, that was Caesar's wife Tina opening us up today.

Caesar Kalinowski:

The true missionary in the family.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, and the premise of the show is that you guys just kind of, you guys were having some conversations recently and thought, man it might be good to sit down and record you and her having a conversation, so.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Absolutely, especially connected to like how she throws parties with ease, right, and all that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So, but hey, but before we get to that, I wanted to just kind of say hey and ho and remind our, our friends here that, uh, the Cigar and Theology live event.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yep.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Registration is still open.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And we're still in the early bird pricing kind of thing.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And so if you, if you don't know what Cigar and Theology is, Heath and I get together.

Caesar Kalinowski:

about monthly with all of our bros and friends and some neighbors and all that, and, uh, we do something called Cigars and Theology, where guess what?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Most of the guys, not everybody, we smoke some cigars, have some food and drinks, and we talk deep theology.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And it's part of how we do discipleship, and it's part of how we do leadership development, but there's a really specific process for how it goes so that it's not weird, wonky, or becomes a big opinion fest or any of that stuff.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And so we've had, we've talked about it on the show before and we've had so many people ask about it that we thought, Hey, why not do it?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Let's do it live at Caesar's house.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And we'll do it live at my house with happy hour, with dinner, with the Cigar and Theologies, with all the cigars, with some cool swag, the beverages, beverages, all this.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And then we're gonna completely train you on how to do it and then send you home with a year's worth of Sort of outlines.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, so you can go home and do it in your own context.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Exactly.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So anyway, if you didn't hear about it, boom, there it is.

Caesar Kalinowski:

At least if you're kind of even interested a little, check it out at everydaydisciple.

Caesar Kalinowski:

com forward slash theology.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And I will say this too, ladies who are listening, who like just tune out that part, this makes a great special gift for like, Your, your guy.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You like birthday.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like you say, Hey, you know what?

Caesar Kalinowski:

I know you're into this kind of stuff, and I know you mentioned it before.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yep.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I want you to go like, you know, father's Day gift or early Christmas or whatever, you

Heath Hollensbe:

know, it's just an overnight September 13th and 14th.

Heath Hollensbe:

We're hosting it just outside of Tacoma, Washington at my house at Caesar's

Caesar Kalinowski:

house.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, so again cooking and the whole program So

Heath Hollensbe:

if you just go to everyday disciple.

Heath Hollensbe:

com forward slash theology, and you've got about a week left before the pricing jumps So if you want on this early

Caesar Kalinowski:

So we're trying to try to sweep in the family fast and just be done and then look forward to partying and

Heath Hollensbe:

hanging out and we're kind of shocked cuz maybe we should have a contest or special prize for the person that flies the longest to get here because You were just saying, I got a text today that somebody from England has registered.

Heath Hollensbe:

Yeah, right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So far they're in the lead for distance to come and smoke a cigar.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Maybe you'll get an

Heath Hollensbe:

exit.

Heath Hollensbe:

We'll get you the nicest

Caesar Kalinowski:

cigar if you come from further

Heath Hollensbe:

than London.

Heath Hollensbe:

Thailand or whatever.

Heath Hollensbe:

Okay, so in light of that, um, in light of that hospitality kind of gift that people will experience even at Cigars and Theology.

Heath Hollensbe:

Yeah.

Heath Hollensbe:

Tina's an expert at hospitality and serving well and doing things right.

Heath Hollensbe:

So

Caesar Kalinowski:

good.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And it's natural.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like it's her happy place.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I'm not joking.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And like we talk about like how people Sabbath in different ways, you know, some people garden, some people craft, some people have to sit in solitude.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I'm not kidding you.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Tina sort of restores her soul by like kind of putting together food and parties and throwing, you know, making people feel great.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's just, she's great at it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's just sort of God's gift in her life.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And so we coach a lot of people.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And, uh, we coach as couples, Tina and I coach together and it's just awesome.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And we've been lately, I guess, cause it's summer getting a lot of people saying, okay, listen, I need some tips.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You know, like what should I serve?

Caesar Kalinowski:

How do I set it up?

Caesar Kalinowski:

How do I, how do I know how much to ask for people to bring and who brings what and all that kind of stuff.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And I kind of overhear her answering, you know, like on Voxer or during coaching calls and I'm like, man, that stuff's gold.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So today Uh, earlier today, uh, Tina and I had a little conversation where we kind of just talked through all that same stuff.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And, uh, we thought, you know, you'd want to hear it as well.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It really kind of applies to just throwing a party or having meals.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So anyway, let's give this a listen.

Caesar Kalinowski:

This will be great.

Caesar Kalinowski:

All right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

All right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

This is awesome.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Having.

Caesar Kalinowski:

and you again on the show T.

Caesar Kalinowski:

This is great.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Thank you.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Thank

Tina Kalinowski:

you.

Caesar Kalinowski:

All right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So as a, we've already kind of set things up and, uh, where we're going, what's the first thing you'd suggest that people concentrate on when doing a summer event or really any part of your meal for that matter.

Caesar Kalinowski:

But right now we're kind of concentrating on, on summer stuff, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

And parties like that.

Tina Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Tina Kalinowski:

Well, the number one thing I always say, it almost really doesn't matter what kind of event or what time of the year is to treat people like family, not like guests.

Tina Kalinowski:

And don't be afraid to, to let people help.

Tina Kalinowski:

It's really important that when people come to your home, that they feel Like they are welcome that you want them to be there and though they they'll feel special But they they want to feel at home and that's what we're all longing for Yeah, and

Caesar Kalinowski:

that's super important like when you've got neighbors coming and they've never been over before And there's that kind of awkward, like, I don't know where to sit or what I shouldn't touch or where do I go, and everybody just kind of stands with one hand on the counter of the kitchen, even if your kitchen's tiny.

Tina Kalinowski:

Absolutely.

Tina Kalinowski:

So how

Caesar Kalinowski:

do you break that wall, right?

Tina Kalinowski:

And the first thing that I usually do is take people and I will show them, like, here's the drinks and here's some food and plates and stuff.

Tina Kalinowski:

And, um.

Tina Kalinowski:

Here's where you keep

Caesar Kalinowski:

the glasses.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That's right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Ice is on the door.

Caesar Kalinowski:

If you don't like that ice, there's more.

Tina Kalinowski:

Yep, exactly.

Tina Kalinowski:

And then, and I tell them to help themselves.

Tina Kalinowski:

And then oftentimes, I'll actually say.

Tina Kalinowski:

Um, that, you know, I want you to help yourself, feel free to root around, if you can't find something you like, I probably have it, and, um, I will take it as the biggest compliment if I see you rooting around in my fridge or my pantry, then I'll know that you feel like you're at home.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I think too, um, that, that idea of treating people like family is, like, so important.

Caesar Kalinowski:

connected to the gospel, and yet we get so caught up with task that we're just worried about pulling off the perfect party, right?

Tina Kalinowski:

Yeah, yeah.

Tina Kalinowski:

And, and that is, we oftentimes feel like we have to have everything just perfect for people.

Tina Kalinowski:

And I think people actually feel much more comfortable when they, uh, just feel like they're accepted for who they are, the way that throwing the

Caesar Kalinowski:

party for?

Caesar Kalinowski:

For our glory?

Tina Kalinowski:

Yeah,

Caesar Kalinowski:

or God's right

Tina Kalinowski:

and that's where you have to really trust God for the results, you know Remember that you're inviting people to experience a dinner here with the family but in God's family the family God's family and loving them is way more important than and that what you serve or How you serve it or who comes or who doesn't come you can trust God for the outcome even when it doesn't Seems successful and I love, there's so many stories I've heard from people who have had things go exactly the opposite of the way that they thought it was gonna go, and yet you could definitely see God's hand in the whole thing.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Sometimes what we term as successful.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's not necessarily what God deems is successful.

Caesar Kalinowski:

We recently had a happy hour at our home, and we do those with pretty regularity, trying to get to a predictable pattern.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And

Tina Kalinowski:

usually have a lot of people come.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, and we had like six come the last time.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And so was that a success or not?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Well, the conversations we had with those six people were great, and they were deep, and they took, you know, and you can kind of, if you had snapshots of that evening, people were completely lounged.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You know what I mean?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like they were home.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And it felt great.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And they're in our neighborhood, so they should be, but they don't, they don't always.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Well, that's a, that's a super important word right at the top.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Make, you know, treat people like family.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Remember that the food and the line and the perfectness of your salad dressing or whatever, that's really not the point.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's making people, giving people experience of God and his family.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So that's a good word right at the top.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Um, now let's go, let's get to some practical stuff.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like what?

Caesar Kalinowski:

You know, what are some tips or, not even tips, but like, where do you start, like, in, when you start thinking about planning out a summer party or meal or whatever?

Tina Kalinowski:

Yeah, the secret to having a really fun summer party, especially when it's a meal, is to keep it simple and obviously have fun.

Tina Kalinowski:

Yeah, capital F, right?

Tina Kalinowski:

Yeah, I suggest doing as much preparation Ahead of time as your space and your refrigeration allows.

Tina Kalinowski:

I, we have a fairly small fridge, even though we have a big house.

Tina Kalinowski:

Sometimes I end up having to do stuff the day of because that's just the way to go.

Tina Kalinowski:

But you also I

Caesar Kalinowski:

like, often you'll have an extra cooler to hold and stuff.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You prep it and then maybe there's a little ice or couple, yeah,

Tina Kalinowski:

you gotta think outside the box.

Tina Kalinowski:

You are pretty

Caesar Kalinowski:

ready by the time people are showing

Tina Kalinowski:

up, usually.

Tina Kalinowski:

It's true.

Tina Kalinowski:

It's true.

Tina Kalinowski:

So yeah, so you do as much preparation ahead of time as your space.

Tina Kalinowski:

You allows but I have to say this is where I really love lists um because you know creating a list of what you want to serve that day, creating a list of what you need to go shopping to, to serve, and then creating a list of, uh, of, you know, What things need to be done around your house because making a list will help you to know to let people know how they can contribute when somebody says, Hey, I want to come.

Tina Kalinowski:

What can I bring?

Tina Kalinowski:

You never say nothing ever, never, ever say nothing.

Tina Kalinowski:

You always say, I

Caesar Kalinowski:

hate that when it's like, no, no, no, you just, you bring yourself that says like, I'm coming to a hotel or I'm coming to a restaurant.

Tina Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's only time you go to a meal and you bring yourself.

Caesar Kalinowski:

and your wallet is a restaurant, you know, and then they're just there to take your money really.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And

Tina Kalinowski:

sometimes it's hard to remember at the last minute when somebody asks, you know, what you need.

Tina Kalinowski:

So that's why I love the lists, love the lists and they just make everything.

Tina Kalinowski:

They de stressify everything.

Tina Kalinowski:

So the other

Caesar Kalinowski:

day we had a big party here and, uh, people were calling in kind of on the way here.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Some of them, and they kept asking like, well, what can I bring?

Caesar Kalinowski:

What can I bring?

Caesar Kalinowski:

And even though The meal was pretty covered.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You had something they could each bring.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And I noticed that, because I heard a few of these calls, I noticed like you doubling down on some of the patterns, that some of the things that were going to come later, you know, uh, in the meal weren't critical on the front end.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And, um, they were things that like, uh, like wine or fruit salad, or it was other things that like, Hey, we'll use that at the next party, you know?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Cause oftentimes people just leave what they bring.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So doubling up on the non perishables is kind of smart too.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Now we do have like 45 bags.

Caesar Kalinowski:

of Tortilla Chips Leftover.

Tina Kalinowski:

This is true.

Tina Kalinowski:

This is true.

Tina Kalinowski:

But we'll be able to use them for many parties to come.

Tina Kalinowski:

So

Caesar Kalinowski:

all right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Tina Kalinowski:

So the other thing I want to say about, um, having a fun summer party is, um, and just any party or meal that using real dishes as much as you can will help.

Tina Kalinowski:

Now real

Caesar Kalinowski:

dishes.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You mean real dishes as opposed to like paper plates?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yes,

Tina Kalinowski:

as opposed to disposables, you know, it helps people feel like real family because you don't normally sit around with your family.

Tina Kalinowski:

At least most families I know of don't use paper plates.

Tina Kalinowski:

Yeah its Family

Caesar Kalinowski:

Dinner Kids, pull out, you know, grab your spork.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And a plastic nine inch plate, and then

Tina Kalinowski:

he is sure

Caesar Kalinowski:

to throw that in the right recycling bin.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah,

Tina Kalinowski:

that's right And so then, of course, depending on the size of party you have in your household set up You can't always necessarily do all real plates or silverware, but you you can collect those things over time for really cheap There's a lot of great resources.

Tina Kalinowski:

We've got the ugliest

Caesar Kalinowski:

expensive.

Caesar Kalinowski:

We've got the ugliest pink plates.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Not our famous pink plates Platters, the team taping platters, but we've got these like Barbie pink plates.

Caesar Kalinowski:

They're just gross to me But we got them for like a billion for like five dollars

Tina Kalinowski:

Yeah, they're really more like fuchsia and they were originally like three dollars a piece But I found them on clearance for 25 cents So I bought every single one that they have.

Tina Kalinowski:

We keep a couple

Caesar Kalinowski:

in the bedroom at night in case like there's an intruder We hold it up to our chest.

Caesar Kalinowski:

They're bulletproof though But at least it's a real plate and it's been way cheaper than buying tons and tons of paper over the years Yeah, but it's a real plate And then

Tina Kalinowski:

we've had these particular plates for probably, I don't know, four or five years now, maybe six, seven.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Try 10, 15.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's

Tina Kalinowski:

possible.

Tina Kalinowski:

We did have another set before that, that were like a cheaper plastic that did eventually wear out.

Tina Kalinowski:

We had to, we had to buy some.

Tina Kalinowski:

And this also

Caesar Kalinowski:

allows people to help clean up then too.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Cause I, you know, like, like the other day again, which is common, people are clearing plates.

Caesar Kalinowski:

They're, how are you done with that?

Caesar Kalinowski:

They're helping each other.

Caesar Kalinowski:

They're starting to serve each other.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And part of that is because they pick up on cues from you or I, right, or our kids or some of the oikos, they pick up on that, like, hey, you know, like, we're all here together, we feel like family, what's good family do?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Well, they help clean up too.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yep.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And

Tina Kalinowski:

sometimes when people say, Hey, I've got to leave.

Tina Kalinowski:

Is there anything I can do to help?

Tina Kalinowski:

I say, absolutely.

Tina Kalinowski:

Yes.

Tina Kalinowski:

If you wouldn't mind rounding up some of these plates or glasses or silverware, and we'll just load up the dishwasher real quick.

Tina Kalinowski:

So that whole act of cleaning up is definitely very familial.

Tina Kalinowski:

And it's, it's, It's like you're, you're being vulnerable to say, Hey, I could use some help.

Tina Kalinowski:

And in that vulnerability, you, you invite them to also be okay with being vulnerable.

Tina Kalinowski:

Key

Caesar Kalinowski:

word there, be vulnerable with people.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Cause that's what, that's what humanity does when we love each other and humility and vulnerability is all key.

Caesar Kalinowski:

to actually experiencing the gospel, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

If we have no need, if we can't be vulnerable, because we're all self contained, well then we'll never accept Christ, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

We want to never admit our own need.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I think about a meal we had recently, and there was a younger guy here.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Who was here for his second time ever for a meal.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Hmm.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And you know, Ash's new buddy.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Oh yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And, um, he was helping to, you know, scrape off plates without being asked.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Very cool.

Caesar Kalinowski:

We've been treating him like family.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Mm-Hmm.

Caesar Kalinowski:

, he jumps right in.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And this is a big meal, so there was like a mountain of plates and we were still clearing more, but talk about being vulnerable.

Caesar Kalinowski:

He just jumped in helping, but I also had to be vulnerable because we just had the big backup of 2019 where our whole service system backed up, and so now we're being extra careful about how much grease goes out into the drain and all this stuff, so I had to like go, oh man, instead of saying, ah, I'll just get it later or whatever, I had to like sort of kind of humble myself and go, hey bro, sorry to do this, but like we just had this clear blockage, so we, I got to be really careful like what we're rinsing down, so.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Um, let's scrape this and then I'm gonna take like a, a rag and I'm just gonna kind of pre wipe all this greasy, cause we were having ribs or something.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Anyway, so, yeah, but you get to, and I'll tell you what, it wasn't, it wasn't a put off to him.

Caesar Kalinowski:

No.

Caesar Kalinowski:

He was kind of like now an insider, so he was, then he kind of took charge of the whole process of making sure that stuff was degreased.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Telling other

Tina Kalinowski:

people, yeah.

Tina Kalinowski:

Not that it was

Caesar Kalinowski:

crazy picky, but yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Alright, um, so, Tina, I know you're an amazing cook.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I've had this benefit for, you know, 36 years coming up here on marriage and plus a whole bunch of other years and everybody knows of your cooking fame.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Um, and you love actually to do these kind of things.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like this is your happy place, but so many people don't cook a whole lot or they're not very set up.

Caesar Kalinowski:

They don't feel very set up to do that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So what do you recommend for, for, for mere mortals for normal people.

Tina Kalinowski:

Well, like I said, you know, this really is a reflection of your life as a family.

Tina Kalinowski:

So everybody's kind of got their things that they, they like to do, or they can do well.

Tina Kalinowski:

You don't have to be a good cook to be a good host.

Tina Kalinowski:

Um, you can, you can get a

Caesar Kalinowski:

good family,

Tina Kalinowski:

right?

Tina Kalinowski:

Or be good family.

Tina Kalinowski:

I mean, you can get fried chicken, you can get, you know, Roasted chickens from the stores.

Tina Kalinowski:

You can do a lot of things that are very easy, but find the things that you like to do, that you're, that you like to eat, uh, that you can share with the families or come up with a recipe or two that are really, just really easy.

Tina Kalinowski:

I mean, we have a couple of recipes that, You know, like, uh, Drago Chicken is one of the ones we do for.

Tina Kalinowski:

And Salami

Caesar Kalinowski:

and Eggs.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And

Tina Kalinowski:

Salami and Eggs, um, and Tuna Noodle Salad for a lot of our friends.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So a couple nights ago we're doing this giant party and Tina makes like, oh, 45, 50 pounds of just simple, simple.

Tina Kalinowski:

It was actually really 4 or 5 pounds of pasta.

Tina Kalinowski:

Tuna Noodle Salad.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And you think, oh my gosh, that's just, how do you have a bunch of people over that you love and you want to show them your best.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Well, in this crowd at least, and Tina knew it, you served this specific old school for my mom tuna noodle salad.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's nothing special, it's cold, and oh my gosh, there was none left at the end.

Tina Kalinowski:

There was none left.

Tina Kalinowski:

We had a lot of other leftovers, but there was no tuna noodle salad.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And then also kind of shared some, because there's a whole story that goes with it, which then gives you the chance to tell stories about when you were a kid, and your mom, and other people that like it, and who in the family doesn't, and all that kind of stuff.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, most

Tina Kalinowski:

of the things that you like, too, really do come with, uh, stories, and sharing those stories.

Tina Kalinowski:

Stories is so endearing to people and they, again, feel like an insider when they know the story about what's special about that.

Tina Kalinowski:

So, yeah.

Tina Kalinowski:

Um, and, and the thing is for like, especially for summer cookouts.

Tina Kalinowski:

Um, you know, there's, you've got heat issues and you know, if it's, if it's hot where you live.

Tina Kalinowski:

And, um, if you're planning to grill versus easy oven, and if you're planning to grill and you're not really sure who, how many people are coming over, if you just choose one thing, like some sort of main dish that

Caesar Kalinowski:

you're gonna do, that you're

Tina Kalinowski:

gonna do, that you know, that you're gonna have a lot of, and if nothing else comes, it's okay, you know, then, and then you can let everybody else bring the rest.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So, like, I think I've kind of noticed that pattern for you.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It is just like the tuna noodle salad.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You made a ton of that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

and like a ton of one other thing so that if literally if nothing else showed up but like appetizers or snackity stuff yeah we still had enough bulk yes and it was also favorite stuff so it all went home because everybody wanted to and that's the other thing about being prepped tina's always on the lookout for the you know i don't know where they glad or whatever yeah those

Tina Kalinowski:

little disposable you know tupperware

Caesar Kalinowski:

stuff you know so you can just send it on home and never worry about it coming back

Tina Kalinowski:

yeah now for Funnily enough, though, I do tell people if they bring it back, then they can be assured that they will have more containers to go bring stuff home in the future.

Tina Kalinowski:

And I always go for an army.

Tina Kalinowski:

Good pro quo.

Tina Kalinowski:

So I do get a lot of containers back, sometimes bags and bags of them at a time, which is kind of funny.

Tina Kalinowski:

Okay,

Caesar Kalinowski:

so you pick something and you make a bulk of it, and then you're not super worried about it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

But I know that you really don't just leave it there.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So is there something else you do that helps sort of simplify the process of food showing up and people bringing food and making sure there's enough and it's not just the container Oh, All One Salad All Night.

Tina Kalinowski:

So picking a theme I think is really helpful for people especially cause it makes a little easier for you to know what to ask people to bring, you can do this again any time of the year, um, and in the winter time you know you tend to tend to have more hot things.

Tina Kalinowski:

You know, uh, main, you know, different kinds of courses.

Tina Kalinowski:

In the summertime, I'd say, you know, lean towards stuff that you can do outside, that you can have outside.

Tina Kalinowski:

But, you know, to, to keep a good potluck means you want to have a lot of different stuff.

Tina Kalinowski:

So create a theme, create a list of things like you can do for the theme.

Tina Kalinowski:

Give us some themes.

Tina Kalinowski:

So like, I love like, we just did this one with our family recently, family and extended family.

Tina Kalinowski:

We did Chicago Dogs.

Tina Kalinowski:

Our daughter actually brought.

Tina Kalinowski:

Where do they all

Caesar Kalinowski:

come from?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Google!

Caesar Kalinowski:

Just Google us.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Glorious if you have all the ingredients together.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And even though you're like, I don't know if I really like that weird green relish or I'm not a huge fan of mustard when it's all together.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Oh, it's mad.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I must

Tina Kalinowski:

say, I don't like the peppers or the relish and I tried them this time and they were really good.

Tina Kalinowski:

I yeah.

Tina Kalinowski:

So something

Caesar Kalinowski:

like that or taco night, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

That's an easy one.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And there's a million ingredients for tacos, by the way.

Caesar Kalinowski:

They're just It ain't just hamburger and a little bit of pre ground cheese and lettuce.

Caesar Kalinowski:

No, shrimp

Tina Kalinowski:

and grilled fish and pretty much, you can put almost everything in it.

Tina Kalinowski:

Any kind of veggie.

Tina Kalinowski:

Eggs, veggies, yeah.

Tina Kalinowski:

Um, make your own hamburgers and when I say that I don't necessarily mean that everybody's like patting out the hamburger patties, I wouldn't suggest that.

Tina Kalinowski:

I just mean having like a hamburger salad bar, like where you have all the different toppings, um, so that So you're grilling the burgers but

Caesar Kalinowski:

then people can kind of come, yeah, I want bacon, I want this kind of cheese, I want that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Kind of like taco night but with burgers.

Caesar Kalinowski:

But with burgers, yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Tina Kalinowski:

So, and salad bars in the summer are really, um, really good because you know in the summertime you're not necessarily wanting a lot of hot stuff but you could have like you know steak sliced up and chicken sliced up and and uh you know bacon blt salads and so you can create a whole your own salad bar or your own sandwich bar which is another so it's cool about that too is

Caesar Kalinowski:

you get the meal going and it's like someone's in cucumbers chopped up and they're bringing onions or whatever.

Caesar Kalinowski:

If those don't show up, it's not like taco bar's dead.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like, well, whatever, you know?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Or you grab an onion, you chop it up at the last minute, but you didn't plan to, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Or if there's three kinds of meats coming, but you made one of them, because like you said, pick your one thing.

Tina Kalinowski:

Right.

Tina Kalinowski:

There's

Caesar Kalinowski:

plenty of meat, but then someone shows up and they've brought the chickens and we got fajitas rolling, or some steak chopped up, or whatever.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So that kind of gives people rails to run on, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

That's what I like about themes.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I think people wrap their head around it, you know, this isn't a summer thing, but we've done like breakfast for dinner, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

You know, yeah, but

Tina Kalinowski:

but we also did recently and it was a whole lot of fun We did 70s steakhouse Oh, that was a good theme.

Tina Kalinowski:

That was really fun.

Tina Kalinowski:

That was an indoor

Caesar Kalinowski:

outdoor theme.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It

Tina Kalinowski:

was indoor outdoor.

Tina Kalinowski:

And we, so we did, you know, steaks, but we had A1 and Heinz 57, which was kind of

Caesar Kalinowski:

funny.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Kind of old school toppings and sides to go with them.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yep.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Biggest wedge salad you ever saw.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yep.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like right out of like our childhood.

Tina Kalinowski:

And I told everybody that was coming, because we had, that was a very specific group, we had, it wasn't just an open, you know, uh, anybody come, this was a specific group of people, I said, These, this is what I'm thinking, and I threw out a bunch of stuff, and the next thing I know, and these, most of these people were people who've been over many times, They were just like, I'll do this, I'll do that, I'll do this.

Tina Kalinowski:

Yeah, they ran with it.

Tina Kalinowski:

I literally just made the stakes that night.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, they ran with it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

They got so excited about this theme sparked in them a desire to go, I got this, like the guy who brought the wedge salads.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It was so far above and beyond like a wedge salad.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I've never had one that good.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And she was proud of it and we were all gooing on it.

Tina Kalinowski:

She said, I've never made one before.

Tina Kalinowski:

I had to look it up.

Tina Kalinowski:

And it was, Amazing gourmet.

Tina Kalinowski:

All right.

Tina Kalinowski:

What, what tips

Caesar Kalinowski:

do you maybe have for like organizing the event itself?

Caesar Kalinowski:

So that's how you get people there and what they're bringing in all.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yep.

Caesar Kalinowski:

How do you like, what's, what are some tips for like organizing the whole thing?

Caesar Kalinowski:

So it kind of runs smoothly and it's not a stress ball.

Tina Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Tina Kalinowski:

So again, when you have a list of things that you're going to ask people to bring and be very clear what you're asking them.

Tina Kalinowski:

So like, you know, if you're doing taco night and you're having somebody bring shredded lettuce, you say, I need Four cups of shredded lettuce or a whole head of shredded lettuce or salad to serve eight people.

Tina Kalinowski:

So if you ever get the salad bags, which a lot of people like to bring and that's fine, it's easy.

Tina Kalinowski:

Serves two or three.

Tina Kalinowski:

Yeah, it serves two or three.

Tina Kalinowski:

So, you know, you're going to need two or three of those bags.

Tina Kalinowski:

And we've had that

Caesar Kalinowski:

where people, you say, you know, someone knew like, Hey, you can bring salad.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And so literally they grab a bag of pre made salad.

Tina Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

No dressings.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And they, and they kind of knew they were coming to 15 people plus that night.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And but they brought all bags.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So that's not their fault.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So

Tina Kalinowski:

that's why it's really clear because you're saying there's 15 people.

Tina Kalinowski:

If you could bring salad for 15, you know, that's

Caesar Kalinowski:

a lot.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Well, then you split in half,

Tina Kalinowski:

right?

Tina Kalinowski:

Right.

Tina Kalinowski:

So, you know, you can figure it out.

Tina Kalinowski:

I mean, it actually, Hey, could you

Caesar Kalinowski:

bring salad for eight?

Caesar Kalinowski:

And you tell somebody else, Hey, could you bring salad for eight?

Caesar Kalinowski:

And you might get two kinds of salads.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That's okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Tina Kalinowski:

I've actually had things where they mix all the salads together.

Tina Kalinowski:

And even though they were all different, it turned out to be a really pretty glorious Caesar, Asian

Caesar Kalinowski:

dressing salad with.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Anchovies and pepperoni.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

They have not

Tina Kalinowski:

been what I thought.

Tina Kalinowski:

But so the next thing is discuss when you'll need those items to be brought.

Tina Kalinowski:

So people know the importance of the time that they arrive or they can make, you know, uh, arrangements to bring them in advance.

Tina Kalinowski:

Oftentimes, you know, people will know like, Oh, I work till five.

Tina Kalinowski:

So it's going to be really hard for me to make it by six, but that doesn't mean they can't participate.

Tina Kalinowski:

So have them

Caesar Kalinowski:

bring dessert or another beverage or something.

Tina Kalinowski:

or a beverage, or you know, they can, you can say, well, if you want to make this, I've had some people say, I want to make the main dish, but I can't make it on time.

Tina Kalinowski:

And I'll say, well, can you make it and just bring it to me the day before?

Tina Kalinowski:

And then I'll put it in the oven for you, like lasagna.

Tina Kalinowski:

And

Caesar Kalinowski:

we've had people do that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And someone else brings it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, like one person in the community.

Caesar Kalinowski:

makes like a giant lasagna or something or they pre grill up something and, and, and then someone else picks it up from their house and brings it to them and stores it in the fridge that day.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So it's like teamwork, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

But then they still feel great about when they show up, there's their meat or their salad or whatever it is.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Tina Kalinowski:

And that way they're not, you're never excluding them from being able to bring something that's important early in the meal or, you know, something that they can do that they feel great about.

Tina Kalinowski:

Um, even if they can't make it early.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Communication is the key in that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Otherwise people come and then they feel like.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Oh my gosh, I'm so late, and everybody's been waiting on this.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And it's not really their fault, but that's not how you build community or make people feel like family.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That's how they accidentally feel shame and weirdness.

Tina Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And then there's a little negative chink in their armor.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And I think I've

Tina Kalinowski:

really learned this, the hard way of like, you know, having people feel that way.

Tina Kalinowski:

And it's never your intention to make them, feel that, but it was because I wasn't clear with the expectations, so I think you can, you can be graciously clear and think outside the box to help people really feel like they're, you know, able to participate in the best way.

Tina Kalinowski:

So you

Caesar Kalinowski:

already said do as much as you can.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You can in advance before people arrive.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That just de stresses you and everybody else.

Tina Kalinowski:

And I want to just clarify, before people are supposed to arrive, because oftentimes we get people who come early

Caesar Kalinowski:

and, and late, and

Tina Kalinowski:

late.

Tina Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Tina Kalinowski:

So, and so don't let that throw you.

Tina Kalinowski:

If you feel like you're not finished because early, yeah, absolutely say, Hey, I was just finishing up.

Tina Kalinowski:

Could you help me with this?

Tina Kalinowski:

I mean, we've asked people to Sweep the floors.

Tina Kalinowski:

We take out garbage.

Caesar Kalinowski:

We arrange the furniture.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You

Tina Kalinowski:

know, I mean, if they're there early, it usually means that they're there because they want, they want to be there to be with you.

Tina Kalinowski:

And they, and they do feel comfortable enough to come early, so let them help.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And by the way too, in all of this prep and during the party.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Engage your kids.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like, even in the planning, Hey, what would be fun?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Mom and Dad are thinking about doing, you know, the hot dog night.

Caesar Kalinowski:

What do you like on your hot dogs?

Caesar Kalinowski:

What should we have people bring?

Caesar Kalinowski:

What would be good for dessert with that?

Caesar Kalinowski:

And then, like, hey, we're thinking about having this many people.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Could you help Dad get chairs out of the garage?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Or could you help him, you know, like, involve your kids at every little thing.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And explain why.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Because then you're seeding in, it's not random.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You're trying to serve people, and you're trying to make them feel like family.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And you can connect those dots, trust me.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And your kids will pick up on it, and they'll never lose it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Our kids are like living proof of that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Our kids, they party well and everybody feels super welcome.

Tina Kalinowski:

I love actually doing parties with our kids Because seriously, it cuts down Like my work and stress level because it feels like I have like four more of me Oh, yeah, they're doing the same things and they're bringing You know lots and they're gracious to others and sir, you know serving and making people feel included

Caesar Kalinowski:

It really felt this way over the 4th of July with team K here Yeah I felt like we ate and Had more food and desserts and drinks and party and then we have in a long time and I saw you doing less than I've seen You doing a long time.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, it's team K just kicks in.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, and that's extended team K And I've had

Tina Kalinowski:

to really actually make myself like specifically and well and I think this started you guys telling me that I needed to just sit down because everybody was there and could do it because we have all adult kids now and which is awesome because then I get to spend more time with the grandkids and it's that's so great all right so and then any last

Caesar Kalinowski:

little

Tina Kalinowski:

thoughts yeah so So, you know, obviously if you're having a big summer party and you don't have enough plates and forks, you know, non disposable, if you're using disposables, this is another great thing that you can have others bring.

Tina Kalinowski:

Now make sure, again, that they know that, or that they're sure that they're going to be there early or have backups, just in case.

Tina Kalinowski:

That's an easy thing.

Tina Kalinowski:

You can't have the person showing up with

Caesar Kalinowski:

the plates 40 minutes into the meal.

Tina Kalinowski:

Right, right.

Tina Kalinowski:

But this is a great thing, an easy thing to have.

Tina Kalinowski:

And we have found

Caesar Kalinowski:

too, you almost have to suggest kind of what you want in that category.

Tina Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Because there's like the chinette super thick plates.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And then there's those ones where that are like serrated around the edge and they're paper thin and four of them don't even hold like jello.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And that's the cheapest.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And so that's what like your single guys will bring.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So just be careful who you have in bringing the disposables.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, they can't just be very clear, you know.

Caesar Kalinowski:

But it is something else they can bring and they can help with.

Heath Hollensbe:

You know, one of the things I love that I've actually learned probably I think a premise that I've learned from Tina is the fact that I always thought you had to be the one that does all of the serving and not inviting people into it, but when you actually invite people to bring stuff and help out and clean the dishes, that is actually inviting them into the family much more than just Not having them have any sort of commitment to this.

Heath Hollensbe:

Yeah, I'm

Caesar Kalinowski:

practically super helpful, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

So not fried all the time and that's I think that's part of why she enjoys it so much Yeah, because she's not like she does not like she's not dead afterward.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, but yeah It treats people like family instead of like guests like we talked about so now for

Heath Hollensbe:

the first time we've ever ever gonna do this We have somebody else actually giving the big three.

Heath Hollensbe:

I believe I I think it might be the first time I think so I'm stoked because Tina's gonna do it and we're gonna give you this printable PDF of the week's big three for free You As a download, and if, if you're new and you're wondering what the big three is, it's the kind of, if we were to distill the show down, the three points that we'd want you to walk away with, and we make it up in this beautiful PDF, you can print it, put it on your fridge or on your wall, and you get it for free by going to everyday disciple.com/big three.

Heath Hollensbe:

Again, that's everyday disciple.com/big three.

Heath Hollensbe:

And now Tina, why don't you tell us the big three for this week?

Tina Kalinowski:

Number one.

Tina Kalinowski:

Absolutely treat people like family, not like guests.

Tina Kalinowski:

So you can totally help people get drinks or food or show them where to get it.

Tina Kalinowski:

Allow them to look in your fridge, you know, uh, behind the curtain, so to speak.

Tina Kalinowski:

You, you, Let them feel, make them feel more at home and dear to you than just taking care of them all night.

Tina Kalinowski:

And that also allows you to spend real time with people.

Tina Kalinowski:

I always tell people who are new at my home, like I said, the highest compliment you can pay me is to rummage around in my fridge or my pantry.

Tina Kalinowski:

And then I know you'll really, you really do feel at home.

Tina Kalinowski:

That's a good one.

Tina Kalinowski:

That's

Caesar Kalinowski:

the first big three.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That's a killer.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay, second one.

Tina Kalinowski:

Second one.

Tina Kalinowski:

God is in control.

Tina Kalinowski:

And no matter who shows up or what may happen, you are still a dearly loved child of the almighty loving God.

Tina Kalinowski:

So you can trust Him for the results.

Tina Kalinowski:

And remember that you're inviting people to experience dinner with the family.

Tina Kalinowski:

God's family and loving them is far more important than what you serve or how you serve it or who does or doesn't come so You can trust God for the outcome even when it doesn't seem or feel successful.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's awesome boy That's maybe the hardest That's maybe the hardest part actually this just having a party is pretty fun and pretty easy Okay Third third of the big three

Tina Kalinowski:

third thing keep it simple and keep her pantry stocked with the things that you can do easily So Then you make your lists, let people help, and don't worry about everything being perfect.

Tina Kalinowski:

No one is perfect, and you will help people feel comfortable much more quickly if you're willing to be imperfect with grace.

Heath Hollensbe:

Tina, thank you so much for being on the show today and for the big three.

Heath Hollensbe:

We're so glad to to be able to partake of some of the wisdom that you are throwing out.

Heath Hollensbe:

Hey, we're noticing more and more that people are not just listening on iTunes, but They're listening on Stitcher and Pandora and Spotify And so one of the things we'd like to ask is if you haven't gotten on any of those Wherever you listen from if you haven't jumped in and written a review and given us a couple of times Yeah subscribe to the show so you get notifications of when we're on if you would just go on subscribe rate us and give us a Review because what that does is it actually gives these companies that put the podcast out there some algorithm information So they know who to put the show in front of So if you're digging the show

Caesar Kalinowski:

you can kind of quote pay us, you know back kind of pay it forward pay it back However, you look at it.

Heath Hollensbe:

Yeah

Caesar Kalinowski:

by doing that and I know all that takes a minute a whole minute So if you do that, thank you.

Caesar Kalinowski:

We love it.

Heath Hollensbe:

Yeah, cool.

Heath Hollensbe:

So next week we're gonna talk about the topic of anger What is godly anger?

Heath Hollensbe:

It's actually a listener requested.

Heath Hollensbe:

Somebody wrote in and said would you Would you do the show for me?

Heath Hollensbe:

Man, I studied

Caesar Kalinowski:

hard for this.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's gonna, we go deep.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Awesome.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I can't wait.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's gonna remap our whole understanding of anger.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I'm not joking.

Heath Hollensbe:

Really?

Heath Hollensbe:

Yeah.

Heath Hollensbe:

Maybe we'll be angrier if people don't join us next Monday.

Heath Hollensbe:

Thanks for joining us today.

Heath Hollensbe:

For more information on this show and to get loads of free discipleship resources, visit EverydayDisciple.

Heath Hollensbe:

com.

Heath Hollensbe:

And remember, you really can live with the spiritual freedom and relational peace that Jesus promised every day.

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