Moving People To Maturity Through Relational Growth
How we invest in our relationships is a big part of making disciples that make more disciples and lead others in the church. Jesus lived intentionally with his disciples by inviting them to join him in every aspect of life, and by challenging them in ways that encouraged trust, growth, and maturity.
This week on the Everyday Disciple Podcast, Caesar speaks with a married couple who are making disciples and developing leaders through intentionally building both invitation and challenge into their relationships with others.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- The importance of calibrating both invitation and challenge in relationships.
- How this has implications for making disciples and developing leaders.
- The ways that invitation and challenge speak into marriage and parenting.
- Examples from practitioners showing how it works in real life.
From this episode:
“Whenever we are investing time and energy into discipling someone, or developing them as leaders, or even within parenting our own kids, there’s this strong dynamic that we learn from Jesus where he perfectly calibrated invitation to his life with a challenge to grow, to participate, to be more like him. This concept of Invitation and Challenge is one that is surprisingly simple to understand and amazingly powerful when we master it.”
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Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Coaching with Caesar and Tina in discipleship and missional living.
Get Caesar’s Book TRANSFORMED today.
Discipleship Resources from Missio Publishing
Transcript
Calibrating.
Caesar Kalinowski:The balance between invitation and challenge in relationships is crucial for effective discipleship and fostering growth and maturity in others.
Caesar Kalinowski:Jesus demonstrated his love for his disciples by inviting them to join him in every aspect of life, and by then challenging them in ways that encouraged trust and growth and their maturity.
Caesar Kalinowski:This is the essence of his mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:He became flesh and dwelled amongst us.
Caesar Kalinowski:To model how to live in trust with the father and then to love others selflessly, even to the point of sacrifice.
Caesar Kalinowski:Consider the level of access that those you're leading and discipling have to your daily life and family routines.
Announcer:Welcome to the Everyday Disciple Podcast, where you'll learn how to live with greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits into every area of life.
Announcer:In other words, discipleship as a lifestyle.
Announcer:This is the stuff your parents, pastors and seminary professors probably forgot to tell you.
Announcer:And now here's your host, Caesar Kalinowski.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, hey.
Caesar Kalinowski:Good to be back with you.
Caesar Kalinowski:How's it going?
Caesar Kalinowski:Hope you're having a great day.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'll tell you what, yesterday we had a blast here in Team K land.
Caesar Kalinowski:What a, what a day.
Caesar Kalinowski:And we have a lot of these, so I shouldn't be surprised, but it's one of those things where I just feel so blessed at the interactions of our family and, uh, the way our children who are adults are with their kids and with us.
Caesar Kalinowski:And with other people in the oikos , in the community.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's just amazing Day of Grace.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I had a, I had a really cool sort of proud and grateful papa moment.
Caesar Kalinowski:I was talking to our daughter Christin.
Caesar Kalinowski:It was actually her birthday, sort of all day celebration.
Caesar Kalinowski:And we were talking about, oh, everything in nothing and as it is in life, and up came the topic of the kingdom of God and the beauty of it.
Caesar Kalinowski:and the Ease and grace within which we do live.
Caesar Kalinowski:And she was talking about how she was all teared up thinking about, I just want to live this way and have more and more people understand this and experience God's grace in and through relationship this way.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I, I just, the way she articulated it and through tears almost, and she was saying, Had been crying about this just recently.
Caesar Kalinowski:I was just like, oh, it really was a proud and grateful
Caesar Kalinowski:papa moment.
Caesar Kalinowski:I was so . Oh, so moved by it and then, you know, we kind of went on to whatever else we were talking about.
Caesar Kalinowski:It was
Caesar Kalinowski:really this beautiful picture of how this works and how discipleship in everyday life happens as we discussed the Gospel and grace and the difference between that and religion and all that.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, oh, awesome.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, next month I'll be starting to help 20 people or couples.
Caesar Kalinowski:Either way, if you're married then couples, if you're not still you, uh, we're gonna be helping 20 people experience greater spiritual freedom as they learn to live a lifestyle of discipleship.
Caesar Kalinowski:That naturally fits the rhythms of their lives and their family.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're gonna be, Tina and I are gonna be personally helping people with that, and that's why we created the everyday Disciple maker's coaching program.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's because we hear so often from so many people who struggle with the same things over and over.
Caesar Kalinowski:They'll say things like, my people do not have time in their schedules for discipleship and outreach.
Caesar Kalinowski:I just can't seem to get it going here.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Or they'll say, I don't have a full picture and plan to make disciples who make disciples in everyday life.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's what's kind of our roadblock right now, or they'll say, I want to get off this program driven hamster wheel of ministry activities and make our faith happen in real life.
Caesar Kalinowski:So if those sound familiar to you at all, if you're struggling with any of these and you're ready to finally make some real lasting progress and you'd like to know more about this coaching and all, would you let me know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Would you just email me at Caesar everyday?
Caesar Kalinowski:Disciple dot com.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's C A E S A R.
Caesar Kalinowski:So Caesar just like the salad or the pizza at everyday Disciple dot com.
Caesar Kalinowski:And by the way, the 20 awesome people that do join us, and there's already some folks signed up, so there's not 20 slots left, but the awesome 20 people that do join us for this when it gets kicking off here.
Caesar Kalinowski:But, so if you join before the end of the month, um, you're gonna be getting some.
Caesar Kalinowski:Incredible access to Tina and I, sort of unlimited as it were.
Caesar Kalinowski:So it's both group coaching and one to one kind of a bonus.
Caesar Kalinowski:Anyway, I hope you'll get ahold of me if you're interested at all.
Caesar Kalinowski:Just to even learn more, just email me and say, Hey, I'm interested in this coaching.
Caesar Kalinowski:Tell me more, and just email Caesar at everyday.
Caesar Kalinowski:Disciple dot com.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now I'm gonna be introducing my special guests here in just a minute.
Caesar Kalinowski:They are true Missional practitioners who are making disciples and growing a church.
Caesar Kalinowski:But first, a little setup.
Caesar Kalinowski:You may have heard me say, the Kingdom of God moves at the speed of relationship and the Gospel moves along the pathways of trust that are built.
Caesar Kalinowski:Have you heard me say that?
Caesar Kalinowski:Let me say it again.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's really important.
Caesar Kalinowski:The Kingdom of God moves at the speed of relationship and the Gospel moves along.
Caesar Kalinowski:The pathways of trust that we build, and this is so true, and how we build and grow our relationships intentionally, is a big part of making disciples that make more disciples and developing leaders within the church.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now, to help with this, we teach folks how to calibrate.
Caesar Kalinowski:What we call both invitation and challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:Invitation and challenge within their relationships, so relationships with friends with their People of Peace, or maybe they're not sure potential People of Peace within the leaders that they're developing or hoping to develop as leaders.
Caesar Kalinowski:We also teach how invitation and challenge helps us in our parenting and our marriage relationships as well.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now just quickly what I , here's what I mean by invitation and challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:Invitation refers to an attitude and actions and words that say to people, I'm glad you're here.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm available to you.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm committed to you and our relationship, and you're welcome in my life.
Caesar Kalinowski:Invitations about time and access to your life.
Caesar Kalinowski:So it might actually be an invitation to do something, right, but it's more a quality of how you are with those people.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's about time and access to your life.
Caesar Kalinowski:Invitation has to do with a sense of helping someone feel included in the community.
Caesar Kalinowski:Welcomed, valued, not for what they can do, but for who they are.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's about knowing and feeling that you belong.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's what you want people to experience, that others love them and want them there, and ultimately that they're valued and claimed by God as his own Now challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we talk about invitation, extending invitation, that kind of feeling to people and access to us.
Caesar Kalinowski:Challenge refers to an attitude that says.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want you to grow.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm committed to your growth and maturity, and I'm willing to hold you accountable to see this happen and for you to be all that God wants you to be and intends for your life.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want 'em to use us together to see that happen.
Caesar Kalinowski:So whenever we're investing time and energy into discipling someone, or developing them as leaders or even within parenting of your own kids or all really all relationship.
Caesar Kalinowski:There's this strong dynamic that we learned from Jesus where he perfectly calibrated invitation to his life with a challenge to grow, to participate, to be more like him, to take that next relational step of trust with him.
Caesar Kalinowski:This concept of invitation challenge is one that it's surprisingly simple to understand and amazingly powerful when we master it.
Caesar Kalinowski:We use a visual tool to help teach this can.
Caesar Kalinowski:If you can imagine, it has four quadrants that show what happens and what the experience is like in different environments.
Caesar Kalinowski:Either too much invitation or too little challenge or all of one, none of the other or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:So imagine a, a vertical axis that's got high invitation at the top, low invitation at the bottom, and then a horizontal axis that intersects it.
Caesar Kalinowski:low challenge on the left, high challenge on the right.
Caesar Kalinowski:So that produces those four quadrants.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so what we, what we see is, and I'm just gonna go over this real quickly and tell you how you can get more training on it, but we see is that if you're living in a, say a small group or your church environment, or how your church feels to people is high invitation, Hey, we're glad you're here, but there's low challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:To maturity, to growth, to participate and all that, just, Hey, we're just glad you're here.
Caesar Kalinowski:That produces a cozy culture.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's your top left quadrant.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now, bottom left quadrant is low invitation and low challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's not a lot of life on life.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's
Caesar Kalinowski:more like that Bible study kind of group or church that's just that you come, you leave, uh, not a lot of doing life together and not a lot of challenge to grow because Oh, that's risky.
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't want anybody to leave numbers already dwindling.
Caesar Kalinowski:We call that the bored culture now, bottom right.
Caesar Kalinowski:The bottom right quadrant is low invitation, but high challenge, and this is maybe you've experienced this, this is like if you're working on staff, let's say at a church, maybe it's a big church or big show on Sunday church, there's not a lot of invitation maybe in access to the leadership's life and the elders, they're not in your life and treating you like family.
Caesar Kalinowski:But there's always more challenge to keep things growing and we call that the discouraged or stressed out culture.
Caesar Kalinowski:I, I've experienced that.
Caesar Kalinowski:I've experienced that myself a lot in the past.
Caesar Kalinowski:, praise God, not so much now, but what we're looking for is the upper top right hand quadrant, which is both high invitation and high challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:We call that the discipling culture.
Caesar Kalinowski:Jesus was the master of creating that, and really, even though we say high invitation and high challenge, it's, it's high.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's the next appropriate invitation.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the next appropriate challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:And when we say challenge, don't think of like a poke in the chest.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, you need to do this or stop that.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's the challenge to take that next relational step or that next step of ownership or maturity or whatever that might be.
Caesar Kalinowski:So hopefully you kind of understand what I mean by invitation and challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:I go super deep into all of this and really teach it.
Caesar Kalinowski:In episode number 2 37, you can look it up on the innerwebs.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's called Invitation, challenge, moving disciples toward maturity.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you can get a copy of this invitation and challenge matrix tool that I'm describing here for you.
Caesar Kalinowski:In fact, I'm looking at it right now, you, that's part of the download this week as part of the big three.
Caesar Kalinowski:So if you go ahead and get the big three later, when I take you through it, it'll also come with the invitation and challenge matrix.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well now you're gonna meet a couple of really good friends of mine, Tim and Anna Brower, and we've known them for years now through our coaching and become very close friends though, and they are master Disciple makers.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's crazy to see the rhythms of their life and the ease with which they as a couple and with their kids.
Caesar Kalinowski:Make disciples and lead their church.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I've been there a couple times to be with them, to witness this, to be a part of it, to do some other training and equipping and just be a part of the family.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's amazing.
Caesar Kalinowski:And they're now passing on what they've been learning in coaching to folks in their church and are starting to coach their own leaders in these very same things.
Caesar Kalinowski:Their church is a Missional, Community based church, meaning there's a bunch of different Missional communities that then gather up when they come together on Sundays, and they're growing these communities and multiplying while also growing as a gathered church on Sundays.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's a beautiful picture of how this all fits together, and like I said, I've been there with them and they're doing such a good job.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're gonna hear in this interview coming up their genuine love for people.
Caesar Kalinowski:And for making disciples together as a couple and as a family, and you'll hear how they've been using and applying invitation and challenge in their lives and ministry in all kinds of different ways.
Caesar Kalinowski:Take a listen to our conversation and then I'll be back to wrap things up.
Caesar Kalinowski:Tell us just a little bit about yourself, how long you've been married, how long has the church been around, what's it like?
Caesar Kalinowski:Just kind of give us some context so, uh, the folks kind of get a little bit of understanding of who you are.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then when we start talking about invitation and challenge, they'll go, okay, there's the context.
Caesar Kalinowski:I get that.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right.
Tim Brower:And so we're married for almost 19 years and I have four kids, 13 and under, three girls and a boy.
Tim Brower:We planted a church about SE almost seven years ago now, and we have been doing Missional communities the whole time.
Tim Brower:Not always in the best way.
Tim Brower:growing and really have seen a lot of change in our neighborhood over the past few years.
Tim Brower:A lot of people coming in People of Peace, just great relationships built there have taken some people through the story of God.
Tim Brower:And yeah, God's, God's working in some great ways.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's awesome.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you're in, did you say you're in North Carolina?
Tim Brower:yes.
Tim Brower:Statesville, North Carolina.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:Beautiful town.
Caesar Kalinowski:What a cool.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you see a town where you go like, this was glorious.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's glorious, but I bet there was a dip in the seventies or eighties downtown there.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, I think there probably was because it's, it's great.
Caesar Kalinowski:I mean, Tina and I talk about it all the time, like we didn't have the grandbabies here.
Caesar Kalinowski:I think we'd be living in Statesville.
Caesar Kalinowski:It was, it had such fun there and it's such a good, you guys have such a good community there and family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Tell us a little bit about the kids, your ages, what's that like?
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and Anna, you're working as well outside the home.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're helping obviously lead and make.
Caesar Kalinowski:Disciples, but you're also working outside the home, as is Tim.
Caesar Kalinowski:He's a pastor.
Caesar Kalinowski:I always like to joke him that he only works like an hour, hour and a half a week.
Caesar Kalinowski:So you know the rest of the time
Caesar Kalinowski:. Anna Brower: Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So I actually work part-time 20 hours a week at the local hospital, and I'm a nurse anesthetist.
Caesar Kalinowski:Our oldest is 13 years old.
Caesar Kalinowski:She is the eighth grade.
Caesar Kalinowski:We have a 10 year old in the fifth grade, and we have a six-year-old in the first grade, and a two-year-old, almost three-year-old next month.
Caesar Kalinowski:So it's a busy, busy group and.
Caesar Kalinowski:We homeschool.
Caesar Kalinowski:So on the days that I work, Tim jumps in there and homeschools the kids, and then I'm doing that when I'm not working.
Caesar Kalinowski:So Awesome.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah,
Caesar Kalinowski:and even though I know everybody watching Tim right now is thinking, man, that Tim's got a strong beard game actually in his family.
Caesar Kalinowski:He looks like a middle schooler because That's right.
Caesar Kalinowski:His dad and brothers have beards, like from what I've seen of the pictures.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't . So you're keeping yours a little more tame a little so you can get your shirt button and stuff.
Tim Brower:I wanna be able to kiss my wife.
Tim Brower:That's right.
Caesar Kalinowski:That too.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's a good thing, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:We've talked, we've talked about before.
Caesar Kalinowski:Tina's not a big fan of the stash, but yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Anyway, , so today as we talk about invitation and challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, I've shared with folks that, boy, I wish I had learned about invitation and challenge a whole lot sooner than I had both in, you know, running businesses and dealing with staff at church.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, I was at a very large church, so I had hundreds of volunteers, you know, working, you know, with us in, in the departments that I was helping to lead, and so did Tina.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then of course, we've raised some kids, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:And so I, I am just amazed at how practical that really does turn out to, you know, to be, when we start to use invitation and challenge when it comes to creating our culture in our church, or moving people from People of Peace towards discipleship or even challenging leaders and all that.
Caesar Kalinowski:When you guys first heard about it, what were, can you remember, like what were some of the things that first dropped on your head and heart about invitation and challenge and calibrating those two?
Tim Brower:Yeah, I think part of it
Tim Brower:was, man, I wish the same thing.
Tim Brower:I wish we would've done this sooner.
Tim Brower:Part of it was, yes, we've invited a lot of people in, but there's not been a, a lot of challenge as far as, you know, next with them, even with our kids.
Tim Brower:You know, we've, I, I feel like that relationship's a whole lot better.
Tim Brower:More inclined to be that way with the invitation challenge, just naturally, but, but yeah, we've seen some benefit in that as well.
Tim Brower:What do
Caesar Kalinowski:you think from a community standpoint that you were building, you know, building out a new church there, plant new community in multiple communities, what would you say in the quadrants, Were, were you primarily, was it cozier?
Caesar Kalinowski:Was it, you know, like here, I'm just gonna throw that on the screen as well.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like where, where, where do you think you guys were maybe in the, those early days?
Caesar Kalinowski:Because I know as a church planter it's like, we just want everybody to come.
Caesar Kalinowski:We don't want to tick anybody off.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know,
Caesar Kalinowski:. Tim Brower: Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, AC actually, I think we were probably in the stressed and discouraged because there were just so few leaders that we were really, you know, doing everything and trying to make stuff happen.
Caesar Kalinowski:Pressing on 'em.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, that we ended up, you know, having a few leaders step down and, and so then we kind of switched to the cozy culture to where we, you know, made it easy for people and, and that that didn't work either.
Caesar Kalinowski:So anyhow, it, I think, I think the discipling culture, high invitation, high challenge has been evident in some relationships in some instances, and it's, and it's really helped.
Caesar Kalinowski:Gimme some instances with within the community, let's say some of your core maybe, or some of the initial leaders that, you know, stuck around after the stressed out sort of time of life where you started realizing, oh, maybe I need to be, you know, calibrating invitation and challenge more.
Caesar Kalinowski:Either like we're like.
Caesar Kalinowski:I need to start banking, you know, banking invitation and time with people or you know, we've done a lot of that.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's time to really start upping the challenge, which might stress people a little bit at first or like give me, you got any examples?
Caesar Kalinowski:Do you remember any stories of that?
Caesar Kalinowski:You don't have to name names cuz , but this is a private group.
Caesar Kalinowski:No one's gonna hear this
Caesar Kalinowski:.
Caesar Kalinowski:Coasted along, they were invited into our, our home a lot.
Caesar Kalinowski:We, you know, oftentimes spent time with them.
Caesar Kalinowski:We went camping with them, did, did different things, but there wasn't a lot of challenge as far as leading group and starting a mission, a new Missional Community with them.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we, so we've seen that happen.
Caesar Kalinowski:Also within our own Missional Community, we've seen a great increase.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, with the invitation, we we're always inviting in, but the challenge wasn't always there.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so we've encouraged some others that we've seen leadership abilities in to step out and start new communities.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we're coaching them right now and moving that way.
Caesar Kalinowski:So,
Caesar Kalinowski:. I know one of the
Caesar Kalinowski:things we've talked about recently quite a bit within Coach our coaching relationship is the need to, as you're starting to equip more with your Missional Community leaders, and then therefore challenge them more to growth than taking on more ownership of their own Missional communities.
Caesar Kalinowski:The need to make sure that you're really balancing out having some fun and plenty of invitation because you're pushing 'em out into some new waters, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Two of the people
Tim Brower:that we're coaching now have been in our Missional Community, and so we.
Tim Brower:Really loved on them and you know, they, they come to our house frequently and, and have been involved with us for a while.
Tim Brower:And, and so, yeah, they're, I think, ready for that challenge and they've accepted that well, and we wanna keep in touch with them, you know, at least having 'em over to our house once a month.
Tim Brower:And then, you know, maybe just.
Tim Brower:On a toll or something like that.
Tim Brower:Yeah, of course.
Tim Brower:Checking anything on Sundays as well.
Tim Brower:Sure.
Tim Brower:How about with People
Caesar Kalinowski:of Peace in your own life?
Caesar Kalinowski:I know you guys have a growing community and you're really popular in your neighborhood, and available to people.
Caesar Kalinowski:How have you seen invitation and challenge?
Caesar Kalinowski:Working or informing your own decisions with People of Peace where you're like, Hey, maybe, maybe this neighbor seems to be leaning in.
Caesar Kalinowski:They might be a person of peace.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and, and using invitation and challenge to figure out how to calibrate that relationship towards discipleship and following Jesus.
Caesar Kalinowski:You wanna share that?
Anna Brower:So we, we actually have some neighbors that are, that have been.
Anna Brower:. Very distinct People of Peace.
Anna Brower:Like they're, they meet all of the definition of People.
Anna Brower:of Peace and they, yeah, like we were like, oh, it's the Severson.
Anna Brower:So that was pretty awesome.
Anna Brower:But we've just been trying to spend lots of time with them.
Anna Brower:But then we had the story of God usually do that in January.
Anna Brower:January.
Anna Brower:Yeah.
Anna Brower:And so we invited them and they came and that was pretty awesome.
Anna Brower:To be a part with them.
Anna Brower:And then Tim has invited the husband of that couple to be a part of his D N A group as well.
Anna Brower:And so that's been pretty cool.
Anna Brower:That's awesome.
Anna Brower:What do you think, Anna, are you more, do you know more naturally tend towards invitation or challenge, do you think?
Anna Brower:Totally invitation.
Anna Brower:really struggle to bring challenge now.
Anna Brower:I don't struggle as much with my kids, I guess I struggle with people pleasing and, and that kind of thing.
Anna Brower:And so I definitely enjoy spending time with people and not bringing a challenge.
Anna Brower:So I have to really work towards that and pray about that.
Tim Brower:So we, we balance each other in that
Tim Brower:. All right.
Tim Brower:Yeah.
Tim Brower:And you
Caesar Kalinowski:know, I think you just touched on something, Anna, pretty important.
Caesar Kalinowski:I think we need both, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:We know this.
Caesar Kalinowski:We need, we need invitation and challenge, and we're always learning in a given situation how to calibrate that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Best way to do that is ask the spirit of God, I think, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, what's next Lord, with this person?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like invitation or challenge or a little bit, little bit of wrapped up together, both right?
Caesar Kalinowski:But.
Caesar Kalinowski:You hit upon something pretty, pretty powerful there.
Caesar Kalinowski:And this isn't until I put a finger on you per se, but all of us that oftentimes when we don't wanna bring challenge and remember, we always say the next appropriate challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:So it's not from like, Hey, I just met this person, you wanna go on vacation?
Caesar Kalinowski:Or I just met this person.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, you wanna lead an alpha group?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, I don't even know, you know, or something, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:But oftentimes if we're
Caesar Kalinowski:not.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like inclined to bring a challenge when we know it's good for folks.
Caesar Kalinowski:It could be a fear of man thing, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Or a little bit of people pleasing, like you said.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that I think as we grow in our gospel fluency and our identity, like really believing that God's our dad and he's crazy about us and we don't have anything to prove or earn.
Caesar Kalinowski:In fact, we can't.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's even offensive to try.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Then we, that sort of, that need to make everybody else happy starts to diminish a little bit in our hearts, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:And so I think we, as we're be, you know, maturing into Christ-likeness, I think we will always find easier to do both.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, because I know there's people li listening that are going, like, I'm all about challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't really want to hang out that much . You know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's just, and, and it's kind of the same thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:In reverse.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like a, you know, I'm, I like me and I wanna be my time's my own, and I just want them to do this.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so I taught 'em go do it.
Caesar Kalinowski:There you go.
Caesar Kalinowski:High challenge, . You know, or I invited 'em.
Caesar Kalinowski:They don't wanna do it.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't care.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, and it's that calibrating of the two and sometimes for quite a long time, hey, you know, sometimes you're, you're, I know we've got, we've got friends and neighbors and People of Peace where I feel like years of calibrating invitation and challenge up the slope relationally with them.
Caesar Kalinowski:And
Caesar Kalinowski:sometimes, sometimes you feel like, oh, I think this is a person of peace.
Caesar Kalinowski:But as you start to calibrate that, they never receive challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:Even when it's like soft challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, Hey, let's go do this.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh yeah, we're not, we're gonna be a little busy for that.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's like month after month after invitation.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you're just trying to wrap a little challenge in the invitation.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like instead of meeting like with a neighborhood, let's meet, you know, ourselves.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or let's go to dinner as couples and it's never received.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's hard cuz you feel.
Caesar Kalinowski:Am I not, you know, am I not banking invitation in a way that it's received as such?
Caesar Kalinowski:Or is maybe this isn't a person of peace right now, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:And that gets a bit tricky.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, any thoughts on that?
Caesar Kalinowski:How that, how, you know, when you're, you think you're doing that, but then may you're not getting the response, you still hope they're not receiving that, that challenge?
Tim Brower:Well, so we had an instance with a, a Missional Community group just recently that we were trying to help them.
Tim Brower:You know, it, there was just the, the, the challenge was put out there, you know, they were gonna start a new group and just not, they hadn't fully embraced it, and so we were questioning did we bank enough invitation into them?
Tim Brower:Yeah, we're pushing them out and challenge, and so we just had to, to think about that, break through that, assess the relationship there, but also with our neighborhood.
Tim Brower:You know, for years we've been doing open tables and, uh, maybe three, at least three years, maybe four.
Tim Brower:And, you know, some of those relationships, they're very willing to come and participate.
Tim Brower:They're, they receive the invitation, but the next step, you know, is, is not there.
Tim Brower:And so it just takes time and yeah, patience.
Tim Brower:I'm thankful that God's patient with
Tim Brower:me so I can be patient with you.
Caesar Kalinowski:No kidding.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know.
Caesar Kalinowski:No kidding.
Caesar Kalinowski:I think too, in our sort of shake and bake microwave world, we assume everything is gonna be really, really fast.
Caesar Kalinowski:Mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And yet then we look at Jesus and he was God and he got pretty much 24 7 with these his disciples, and it's still was three years.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then at his ascension it said the 11 there they were still alive.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're watching is he's like ascending, you know, they've seen him raised from the dead and all like touched my, you know, all right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then some would say, still did not believe, which means some of those disciples that we never hear about again, probably didn't receive the challenge of go and make more disciples.
Caesar Kalinowski:And they're like, eh, back to fishing, or whatever it was.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:We don't know, but I, I think that's a fair assumption cuz we don't have them.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like showing up in the epistles or the book of Acts, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:And so that gives me hope in a sense of like, hey, small is big, slow is fast, let's keep doing that.
Caesar Kalinowski:But then as people emerge clearly as People of Peace, they're receiving that challenge as you toggle invitation and challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:I, I just, you know, I wanna underscore those are the people we have to give our best time to.
Caesar Kalinowski:And our best focus too, and our emotional energy and all that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Let's talk a little bit about invitation and challenges, how it connects to your parenting.
Caesar Kalinowski:How's that, how's that affected you with your kids or even how you think about trying to help them mature and grow, especially when it comes to areas where you're like, man, I am just beating my head against the wall with this one, you know, or this area.
Caesar Kalinowski:What are some of your, uh, experiences with that?.
Caesar Kalinowski:I,
Tim Brower:I think it's best seen in our oldest kids just because they're, you know, becoming more independent.
Tim Brower:They're not coming to us for all the answers, you know, and, and all that.
Tim Brower:And so, like our, our 13 year old daughter loves a coffee drink.
Tim Brower:And so we know if we don't talk to her and get, you know,
Tim Brower:get to her heart, let's go and get a coffee drink and, uh, spend some time with you.
Tim Brower:at the coffee shop, and then we can build that invitation up to where we can come and challenge her as well in that.
Tim Brower:And, and it's, it's pretty sweet.
Tim Brower:You know, it's almost like the five love languages, seeing that in them.
Tim Brower:Our, our second oldest daughter who is 10, she, um, you know, she loves time with us and she loves to, to cuddle and, you know, all that.
Tim Brower:And so I think just.
Tim Brower:Giving her that time is banking invitation into her life.
Tim Brower:And then we can, you know, have that opportunity to, you know, to challenge her in
Tim Brower:with things.
Caesar Kalinowski:Great.
Anna Brower:I was gonna say about our oldest two, uh, We like everyone with a 13 year old deal with attitude issues.
Caesar Kalinowski:No , if not those Brower kids come on.
Anna Brower:Perfect children, no
Caesar Kalinowski:perfect Little Christian kids, pastors, kids,
Caesar Kalinowski:. Anna Brower: But I have noticed when I bank invitation with Lydia, those attitudes don't, they don't rear up the same way.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know when I say I'm on your side, I'm on your team.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I show it to her through invitation.
Caesar Kalinowski:She.
Caesar Kalinowski:Responds differently to me, and I appreciate that.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's amazing.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's God's grace in, in that whole relationship.
Caesar Kalinowski:So,
Caesar Kalinowski:yeah, I, I just wanna encourage anybody with kids right now listening where, wherever you see those blockages, there's a good chance you're way heavy on the challenge side and there might be good reason for it.
Caesar Kalinowski:But if you wanna love those kids well and you wanna see movement or breakthrough and you like to see more relational, Try banking some invitation without bringing up the challenge a few times or for maybe a few weeks or something.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:I can remember this like when my youngest.
Caesar Kalinowski:Was a teenager, and of course she's now the last sort of one under our thumb, you know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:Because like her, her sibs are either gone or like living how they want, you know, more so, and, uh, she felt ah, so restricted.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it seemed like everything, like anything was too much for her.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, I can't, you guys are ruining my life, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:And it just was.
Caesar Kalinowski:Really, like, we just want you to pick that up, move it to there.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like that's too, you know, whatever it was.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, but all that changed drastically when it started banking invitation and just building that trust back up.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, I mean, it wasn't like she distrusted in that sense, but like you said, being on the same team and we're big on Team K, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:We're big on being a team.
Caesar Kalinowski:But I think what can also, what all often happens with, especially within family life is.
Caesar Kalinowski:Kind of the, the kids, at least from their perspective.
Caesar Kalinowski:The only time I hear from you is when you're try, you're upset or you're trying to get me to do something or fix something or stop doing something.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that gets rough.
Caesar Kalinowski:That gets rough for them.
Caesar Kalinowski:Cuz none of us would like that feeling of that either.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm just gonna pull up the, the, uh, invitation and challenge for parenting.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, and so that's that performance review and, and I think we might not feel like we're in the, you know, like our family life with the kids is in the performance review category, but they.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because we've not spent a whole lot of time banking invitation and what we think, oh yeah, we do eat dinner together every night.
Caesar Kalinowski:And they're like, and I, and I hate it because you make us do it and you make me put my phone.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, it's, that's not invitation.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's, I think that's something for us to remember in both with kids, but also with People of Peace or neighbors that we're just trying to figure out if they might be, or leaders in our communities.
Caesar Kalinowski:Just because we think we're banking invitation doesn't necessarily mean they're receiving it as invitation.
Caesar Kalinowski:Mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:. Mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:. And I'm not, I don't have like every, you know, every situation would be different, so I can't say here's how you'd know for sure, but I think if you are, if you're always banking one type of invitation and the people aren't receiving the challenge, but they seem like they want to, they seem like they like you, they're leaning in..
Caesar Kalinowski:Be it your kid or a neighbor or a leader you're developing.
Caesar Kalinowski:It might be that you wanna try a different type of invitation, you know, different type of access to your life and time, or maybe.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's the invitation's been in a group and you need some one-on-one time, or maybe some fishing, or maybe it's like, Hey, like let's just, I'm taking her and we're going to Costco together and we're just gonna talk through all the stuff that I buy and wine and how I save money.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I'm so thankful for that.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's banking the right, you know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:Or who knows?
Caesar Kalinowski:We just don't know.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so sometimes we've gotta move the type of invitation around.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or maybe I, maybe we could be bold enough to ask like, Hey, did you enjoy that?
Caesar Kalinowski:Was that a good time?
Caesar Kalinowski:Great.
Caesar Kalinowski:What'd you, I'd love to get together again.
Caesar Kalinowski:What would you like to do?
Caesar Kalinowski:And if they say the same, okay, maybe we're on the right track.
Caesar Kalinowski:If they say something completely different, maybe there's different ways of banking that invitation, I think for some people, banking invitation.
Caesar Kalinowski:Is has a lot to do with words of affirmation.
Caesar Kalinowski:You mentioned I think the five love languages for some people like that time together is great and they need that cause it's, you know, invitation is access to us.
Caesar Kalinowski:But some people think, well, yeah, has access to me and then I was challenging the heck outta you . And like, what they really need was to be told that you love 'em, that they're beautiful, that they're doing a good job, that you're encouraged, that you're proud of 'em, what, whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:It would be in that situation.
Caesar Kalinowski:So yeah, it's awesome.
Caesar Kalinowski:Another category that we've started to apply invitation and challenge to is in ma our marriage relationship.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's a, that's a newer sort of iteration of the use of this for Tina and I at least.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and we've talked about it in coaching just a bit.
Caesar Kalinowski:Any thoughts on that?
Caesar Kalinowski:How invitation and challenge and, and calibrating that is starting to be utilized or at least you're thinking through these lenses within your own marriage and relationship?
Anna Brower:I would say that I've seen it well done through Tim, because as he has been on this journey of learning more about missional Living and even being coached by Caesar and things like that long before we were coached by Caesar, like per se.
Anna Brower:He has moved very quickly along this path and I have been much slower and it's not that I wasn't willing to come off path of, you mean like living on mission and opening up your home and all that?
Anna Brower:Yeah, he is very extroverted and I'm not, and so it's very natural for him to be like, let's have people over all the time.
Anna Brower:And I'm like, I just lay on the couch all the time, like Beck , but I'll say, He has been very grace filled.
Anna Brower:You know, he has been very loving and Brock Challenge.
Anna Brower:Like, Anna, we can do this.
Anna Brower:You know, you can do this and I will be right here with you.
Anna Brower:You know?
Anna Brower:Or I was just thinking about this invitation and challenge matrix and thinking, I wonder how many times I heard it before.
Anna Brower:It really went.
Anna Brower:From here to here, because I think there's so many concepts definitely that you've taught us Caesar, that have been like that for me, where he dropped faster and I took forever and he'd be like, Anna, how many times has Caesar said this?
Anna Brower:Or how many times have we read this?
Anna Brower:How many times have I said this to you?
Anna Brower:But he's never been.
Anna Brower:Condemning in that way.
Anna Brower:Like you should have got this, you know, he, he would just always be loving and so I think that was the appropriate invitation.
Anna Brower:Met with the challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Good.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's good job on you, Tim
Caesar Kalinowski:That's so true.
Caesar Kalinowski:But it's, it's reality, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Otherwise, you know, it's just we're pushing on each other.
Caesar Kalinowski:Where's the love in that and, and we have to do this Disciple making in community as a lifestyle together if we're married.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I think just about everybody on, you know, in, in this call and watching is probably just about everybody.
Caesar Kalinowski:Not everybody maybe, but almost.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it is so key that we're, we're moving together, which means in some areas, in some aspects, we might have to slow it down or take more time to explain or bring the invitation.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right Or take on different roles.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, hey, it's challenging here.
Caesar Kalinowski:I realize that's just not something you wanna do or you're good at, or you feel confident right now in, how about I take that on?
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:So that's good.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's real good.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't like this idea that though, you know, if there's any kind of conflict, you're bringing up my name in the middle of it a lot.
Caesar Kalinowski:. I would call it conflict.
Caesar Kalinowski:I would just call it, I'm just kidding.
Caesar Kalinowski:Reminding like, Hey, you've
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, somebody, uh, Rob Dickerson asked, you know, what's an open table?
Caesar Kalinowski:And I was almost gonna, I didn't wanna step on you there.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I, and I, and I, I wrote him back.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, an open table is kinda like a standing weekly meal where you can, you know, you always know, Hey, we're doing this, and others can come, you know, and, and we're just gonna pick a night of the week, like a Thursday and go, Hey, open table, simple meal.
Caesar Kalinowski:Y'all come and, and not only are we inviting People of Peace and neighbors and maybe key leaders or something like that, but we also have it sort of in our pocket cuz it's a predictable pattern so that if we run into somebody, we don't have to go, like we should really have them over.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then we like it drags on and drags on.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're never planning it, we're forgetting about it, you know, . But if we have that open table that's sort of standing open table, like we always do that Thursdays or we do that Tuesday night or whatever it.
Caesar Kalinowski:, then you can always go like, well hey, you know, a bunch of us, it's super casual.
Caesar Kalinowski:Get together for like pizzas and salad or soup and salad or what, you know, whatever it is on Thursday, if you want to come, it'd be awesome.
Caesar Kalinowski:You meet some great people, you know, and so, and then he asked like, well, how many people should you plan for?
Caesar Kalinowski:Who knows, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:, the first couple times you gotta see like who's all coming.
Caesar Kalinowski:But over time we get to invite people to also participate by bringing some stuff so you don't have to plan that much.
Caesar Kalinowski:I know for us, and this is a little off base here, but I'm trying to answer.
Caesar Kalinowski:For us, when we would do this, we generally would say, Hey, we got the meat.
Caesar Kalinowski:You guys bring beverages of choice and a side to share, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:And they'd say, well, how many should I make it for?
Caesar Kalinowski:Make it for a dozen people, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:And then if we have more, then we'll have more sides.
Caesar Kalinowski:Then it'll all add up.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then we would just kind of grill the meat or whatever we were doing, you know, as it went.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or if we were doing spaghetti or something like that.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, well, we'll just boil noodles as we need 'em.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the sauce we could re-freeze.
Caesar Kalinowski:, but all the sides are coming or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:So there you go.
Caesar Kalinowski:Little drop in teaching on open table.
Caesar Kalinowski:Alright, so any other thoughts about using or even encouraging people to really embrace and start to, to utilize invitation and challenge within their church staffs or with their parenting or, or marriage or whatever?
Caesar Kalinowski:Any, any thoughts on this to encourage people in, in really starting to touch and handle and use this stuff?
Tim Brower:I think it's really worth wrestling with all of the relationships that you have and just seeing, you know, where you're challenging more, where you're inviting more, and how to balance that better.
Tim Brower:I think we all have room for improvement.
Tim Brower:I, I think there's definite benefits to, to kind of structuring life around that.
Tim Brower:You know, I think it opens doors.
Tim Brower:You know, for taking that next step with people.
Tim Brower:And so, you know, I, I think we, we love inviting others in.
Tim Brower:We love the high invitation and, and we do that a lot.
Tim Brower:I think the challenge has, has come and we've seen benefit in that and, you know, really people even being ready.
Tim Brower:I remember we started DNA group, which is like a little triad of.
Tim Brower:Men meeting with men, women with women.
Tim Brower:And when we first started them, you know, we had just a few leaders that were doing it, maybe three ladies and three men, and they, they grew and the, the groups didn't multiply like we hoped that they would.
Tim Brower:And when I challenged them, I mean, they were, they had been invited into, into these groups.
Tim Brower:And when that next little bit of challenge came, they were ready to, to jump.
Tim Brower:There were some people that were like, yeah, I'm gonna start.
Tim Brower:I'm ready to multiply out and start new ones.
Tim Brower:Yeah.
Tim Brower:So,
Tim Brower:you know, things like that.
Tim Brower:And I think it's really, it's really good to
Tim Brower:calibrate through that.
Caesar Kalinowski:I think too, what I really love about kind of thinking through that framework in our, in our lives in ministry stuff is I never feel stuck anymore.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because it's like, is it invitation or challenge or is it a little both?
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I can pray about that and ask the spirit to guide that, but it used to, I think I, I, I tended definitely to ch to be more on the challenge side.
Caesar Kalinowski:So it's like, well, they're not doing it, so I guess I'll go in there and challenge 'em some more.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I was like, even like, I don't want to do that.
Caesar Kalinowski:And they're like, I don't want to hear it.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:And so now I never have to kind of wonder as much it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, I thought we were there.
Caesar Kalinowski:They're not receiving that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or they really bristled, maybe it's a hard issue or whatever, but let me even to get after it, let me go ahead and just bank some invitations, spend some time, you know, build some trust and I, I just don't feel stuck anymore.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, well, my only option is to just, I guess, raise my voice a little higher, be a little more emphatic or, you know, or something, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:And so I, I feel like now we've always got good options and, and they don't all look the same.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:And so it's good, I'm grateful for that.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm grateful for that tool as well.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, Tim and Anna, thanks again for doing this.
Caesar Kalinowski:I love you guys.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know that we're family together and thank you so much for the time today.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're probably, you're on the east coast, you're bumping up towards getting ready to start making some dinner, , and I gotta have some lunch here.
Caesar Kalinowski:So thanks again for being on.
Caesar Kalinowski:I hope you enjoyed that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Talk with Tim and Anna and you can see how they're calibrating all this in their own life and ministry in all kinds of ways, and I hope it encourages you to.
Caesar Kalinowski:start Thinking through these lenses of invitation and challenge, both in ministry with the teams you lead, or with people in your life or in your department.
Caesar Kalinowski:Maybe if you're leading a church or however that fits, you can probably see right away all the areas of your life that this is gonna help in People of Peace neighbors, even with your kids and all that.
Caesar Kalinowski:And we've loved being in coaching with Tim and Anna over the past, like two plus years now.
Caesar Kalinowski:They've really applied.
Caesar Kalinowski:What they've learned and grown with and from it, and then also started passing it on.
Caesar Kalinowski:I love that.
Caesar Kalinowski:And their Disciple making and their gospel fluency now is just through the roof.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, I love that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, remember I told you earlier about the
Caesar Kalinowski:everyday Disciple makers coaching program that starts up next month.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm gonna be helping 20 people.
Caesar Kalinowski:Tina and I will be helping 20 couples or people experience greater spiritual freedom, just like what we were talking about today.
Caesar Kalinowski:And as they learn to live a discipleship lifestyle that fits the rhythms of their own life.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then hopefully, like Tim and Anna teach that to others.
Caesar Kalinowski:If you're interested in learning
Caesar Kalinowski:more about
Caesar Kalinowski:that, wanna know how the coaching works and maybe get set up for that and be one of the 20 people that gets kind of unlimited access to us group and one-to-one, just email me, say, Hey, I'm interested in learning more about this coaching, but do it right away.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay?
Caesar Kalinowski:Email me at Caesar at everyday.
Caesar Kalinowski:Disciple dot com.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's C A E S A R.
Caesar Kalinowski:How we spell it cuz everybody wants to flip those A's and E's.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now as always, I wanna leave you with the big three takeaways from today's topic, and you can get a printable PDF of this week's big three as a free download.
Caesar Kalinowski:Along with that invitation and challenge matrix tool, just go to everyday Disciple dot com slash big three.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now, here are the big three for this week.
Caesar Kalinowski:Number one, calibrating the balance between invitation and challenge in relationships is crucial for effective discipleship and fostering growth and maturity in others.
Caesar Kalinowski:You really can't do it without that.
Caesar Kalinowski:By depositing invitation people's lives, we build up a reserve that can later be spent as challenges for them to take next steps in their growth.
Caesar Kalinowski:If someone's not responding positively to the challenges that you're presenting them, it may be an indication that you need to increase the level or frequency of invitation.
Caesar Kalinowski:Between you and them, or maybe the challenge is too great for the current level of trust you have with them.
Caesar Kalinowski:Think through that.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's changing my leadership.
Caesar Kalinowski:Number two, Jesus demonstrated his love for his disciples by inviting them to join him in every aspect of life, and by then challenging them in ways that encourage trust and growth and their
Caesar Kalinowski:maturity.
Caesar Kalinowski:This is the essence of his mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:He became flesh and dwelled amongst us to model how to live in trust with the father, and then to love others selflessly, even to the point of sacrifice.
Caesar Kalinowski:Consider the level of access that those you're leading and discipling have to your daily life and family routines.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And number three, start by making a list of people in your life that you're leading or discipling.
Caesar Kalinowski:And this may include people in your own family and ask God to show you what the next appropriate invitation and level of challenge is for each person as you seek to teach them and train and Disciple them to maturity.
Caesar Kalinowski:what is the next appropriate level of invitation and challenge with your spouse or your kids, or those you lead at work and People of Peace in your life.
Caesar Kalinowski:I wanna encourage you get started right away.
Caesar Kalinowski:And remember, if you download the big three this week, I'm gonna give you that invitation challenge matrix for free as well.
Caesar Kalinowski:Just go to everyday Disciple dot com slash big three B I G number three.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay, that's it for today.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hope you'll join me next week.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're gonna continue to learn how the Gospel speaks into all of normal life and is foundational to making discipleship and mission a lifestyle instead of a program of the church.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'll talk to you soon.
Announcer:Thanks for joining us today.
Announcer:For more information on this show and to get loads of free discipleship resources, visit everyday Disciple dot com and remember, you really can live with the spiritual freedom and relational peace that Jesus promised every day.