Why Resting Is Such Hard Work (And What Changes It)

Rest keeps landing on the someday list for a lot of us. I think it’s because most of us have a built-in habit of trying to earn our worth by what we do. Work hard enough and we’ll get the status, the love, the acceptance, the value.

I call that habit the DO = BE lies: what I DO equals who I AM.

Somebody once said it this way: we keep trying to work FOR love instead of working FROM love.

If you’d like a simple picture of everyday discipleship, my free eBook Be The Church: Discipleship and Mission Made Simple is yours for the asking.

God’s very first day off

Go back to the beginning of the Bible’s story. God created humans in his own image on the sixth day.

And the very next day, the first full twenty-four hours of life for Adam and Eve, was a day off. A day of rest.

They hadn’t done anything yet. They hadn’t earned a thing. Rest came first, and work came out of it.

If that rubs you the wrong way a little, I get it. Most of us were raised on the opposite order. If you’ve ever felt like your faith is one more job to perform, I wrote about that in When Your Faith Feels Like a Burden, Not a Gift.

The commandment we treat like a suggestion

In Exodus 20, when God gives the fourth of the Ten Commandments, he says, “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.” (No, he’s not talking about Ozzy Osbourne’s old band, Black Sabbath.)

Here’s what’s interesting. God gives a whole paragraph of instructions on this one, while most of the others get a single line, like “You shall not steal.”

It seems God knew we’d want to work hard at earning and providing for ourselves. We’d need a rhythm of reminders, every single week, to restore our trust in him.

God created everything, pronounced it good, and then took a break to enjoy it all. That’s his desire for us too: to live in a rhythm of resting in his finished work.

So why do we treat this command like a suggestion?

“Oh, um, yeah… I really need to do that more.”

“In the New Year I’m going to rest and take some time off. At least I hope to.”

We would never say that about the other commands. “Next month I’m going to cut my stealing and lying in half. I really need to.” Or, “I should definitely stop murdering people. I really gotta cut back.”

What?!

Why we blow this one off

Maybe we just get so busy we forget. We lose track of God’s goodness and provision, and we start believing we’re our own source of talent, energy, skills and, well, everything.

That’s the lie under the busyness. If it all depends on me, I can’t afford to stop.

I talked through some of the other lies that keep us from resting in a podcast episode, 7 Lies That Ruin Our Ability To Rest.

Rest is a person, not just a day

Here’s the good news. God’s desire is that our lives would be a perpetual Sabbath, a nonstop resting in what Jesus has already done.

On the cross, Jesus secured for us what we could never earn for ourselves: the forgiveness of our sins and a restored relationship with his Father. We can’t add to that any more than we can make the plants grow, control the weather, or make God love us more than he already does.

Because of Jesus we can rest. Today. Every day. At a soul level.

In our church family we’ve found it helpful to call this rhythm Re-Create. We Rest in Jesus’ finished work on our behalf. And out of that rest we Create: we go to work, clean the house, or cook a meal without needing to earn God’s approval (or anyone else’s). We already have his approval!

I unpack the whole rhythm, with stories from our own community, in my book Transformed: Discipleship & Mission as a Lifestyle.

But honestly, I’m not great at this

Okay, I’m just going to come right out and admit it. I suck at this rhythm.

It’s hard to live in a moment-by-moment reality of Sabbath rest. And it’s hard to set aside regular time each week to be restored and refocused on Jesus.

So don’t let rest become one more law to keep. Ask God to grow the desire for it in your heart, by his Spirit. You can’t muster it up on your own. That’s his job.

Three ways to start resting this week

A few simple ways to begin:

– Rest, then work. Before you start your day, take a minute to remember what’s true of you in Christ: you are dearly loved by the Father. – Rest while working. Throughout the day, remember that your performance isn’t what earns God’s favor. You already have it. – Rest from work. At the end of the day, thank God for what happened and leave everything else in his care.

And rest doesn’t have to look like lying on the couch. For me, working on my Harley or pulling weeds in the garden is a total brain-level, heart-level rest. My buddy Jeff told me he can tell his heart is truly at rest when he can slow down enough to play with his kids. (He also told me he hates Chutes and Ladders because you only win by luck. What does that say about his heart?)

Here’s a short video where I talk through this same idea if you’d like to share it or watch later: Resting Is Hard Work!

Most days my own head sounds like this: I am so tired. I am so busy. I am so me… me… my world… me…

Whoa.

Stop already. Rest.

The world will keep spinning while you do. God was running it long before you showed up.

What keeps you from truly resting in a regular rhythm? I’d love to hear it in the comments below.

FAQ

Q1: Does Sabbath rest have to be a full day, or a specific day?
It doesn’t have to start that way. A set-aside day is a gift, and longer stretches of rest help recalibrate our hearts. But the bigger goal is a heart that rests in Jesus all week. Start with whatever regular time you can protect, and put it on the calendar if you need to.

Q2: What if my job or season of life (like little kids) makes real rest feel impossible?
Then look for rest in small pockets rather than waiting for a perfect day. A few quiet minutes before the house wakes up, a walk at lunch, a short prayer of thanks at night. Rest is less about how much time you have and more about where your heart is resting.

Q3: How do I help my family or church rest without making it another rule?
Model it before you mention it. Let people see you stop, play and enjoy God’s gifts without guilt. And keep pointing back to the why: we rest because Jesus has already done the work, not to prove we’re spiritual.