Friendsgiving: Welcoming People to God’s Table
Thanksgiving gives us a beautiful chance to practice radical hospitality—welcoming others into our lives and treating them like family. But what if this year, you opened up your table in a way that reflects how big God’s family really is?
In this episode of the Everyday Disciple Podcast, Tina joins me for a conversation about Friendsgiving—a simple but powerful way to include others in your life, especially those who may not have a place to celebrate. We’ll talk about how to shift your mindset, get your family on board, and create space at your table for gospel relationships to grow.
You don’t need a perfect meal. You just need a seat, a little flexibility, and a willingness to love like Jesus.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- Why expanding your definition of “family” is central to living on mission.
- Who you might invite this year—and how to ask without it being awkward.
- What to do when your relatives aren’t thrilled about “outsiders” joining the table.
- How to express thankfulness in a way that feels genuine and Spirit-led.
From this episode:
“Don’t worry about trying to pull off the ‘perfect’ dinner! A place at the table and flexibility are the key things to remember. When you open up a space at your table for someone, it is like they are being invited to ‘God’s table’… because, in fact, they are!”
Each week the Big 3 will give you immediate action steps to get you started.
Download today’s BIG 3 right now. Read and think over them again later. You might even want to share them with others…
Thanks for Listening!
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Also, please leave an honest review for The Everyday Disciple Podcast on iTunes. Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.
Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Coaching and Mentorship in Missional Living by Caesar and his wife Tina
Resources for missional living and group training – Missio Publishing
In light of today’s topics, you might find these posts and videos helpful:
Transcript
I can remember when this was starting to change in our life and we started seeing everybody's family.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're like, Hey, uh, you know, so and so in the family who's hosting Thanksgiving this year?
Caesar Kalinowski:Is it okay if we bring this family along or is it okay if we bring this guy along?
Caesar Kalinowski:Who's that guy?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:No, this is for us, this is Thanksgiving's for family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, and that's my whole family is Christians and they would still come up with all their quote.
Caesar Kalinowski:Good, really good reasons.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so, yeah, we would get that kind of pushback and I think I'll be, I'll be honest with you, it was probably what started pushing us towards saying, Hey.
Caesar Kalinowski:Not every year we're gonna make it to the family Thanksgiving.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because we're gonna go ahead and have it with our family, which is pretty big and includes a whole lot of friends.
Caesar Kalinowski:I would say also if, if you're gonna start inviting like folks to your, you know, traditional family Thanksgiving, the, the answer there and your dad, and your grandma and all that, don't overwhelm them the first time by inviting, you know, the entire line of people that you found outside the Salvation Army.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't go to the thrift store and say, Hey, listen, hand out flyers to your grandma's house, and she doesn't know they're coming.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't go nuts.
Caesar Kalinowski:But when, when there's special people that you really want to be a part of it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Talk to your family and say, Hey, this, this, this is like a sister.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:This is like a sister and I really want her to come to this.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's not only gonna be a blessing to them, but it's gonna start to bless your family as it opens their heart up a little bit bigger to see like, God sees everybody's family.
Heath Hollensbe:Welcome to the Everyday Disciple Podcast, where you'll learn how to live with greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits into every area of life.
Heath Hollensbe:In other words, discipleship as a lifestyle.
Heath Hollensbe:This is the stuff your parents, pastors and seminary professors.
Heath Hollensbe:Probably forgot to tell you.
Heath Hollensbe:And now here's your host, Caesar Kalinowski.
Heath Hollensbe:Keith, how you doing brother?
Heath Hollensbe:Are you, are you ready for this, this holiday Thanksgiving week?
Caesar Kalinowski:Are you, are you ready for this?
Caesar Kalinowski:Are you already, you're preparing food.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's all like stacked up out in the freezer.
Caesar Kalinowski:What Kathleen
Heath Hollensbe:is preparing the food.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm doing
Heath Hollensbe:the Turkey.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm the fragger.
Heath Hollensbe:Oh, are you really?
Heath Hollensbe:It's a, it's like a nine hour day.
Heath Hollensbe:It starts the day before.
Heath Hollensbe:No, the Traeger,
Caesar Kalinowski:just clarify for those listeners who don't know the wonder of the Traeger.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like
Heath Hollensbe:a, it's a wood pellet grill, so it's you, you, you choose the wood type that you like and it's actual like alderwood or cherry liquor.
Heath Hollensbe:Kinda like a smoker
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Kind of thing.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:So I brine mine overnight and like a whiskey and they use Coca-Cola and all kinds of weird, weird cloves and stuff like that.
Heath Hollensbe:Wow.
Heath Hollensbe:Sherine it overnight.
Heath Hollensbe:Throw it on the Traeger and you spend the rest of the day like, just kind of marinating it, it turns out awesome.
Heath Hollensbe:Wow.
Heath Hollensbe:That
Caesar Kalinowski:is, that is quite a commitment.
Caesar Kalinowski:I, you know, I think people have moved on to those Traeger, those smokers.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:From what used to be the big jam was like deep fried Turkey.
Heath Hollensbe:I never had one,
Caesar Kalinowski:but enough people blew themselves up and like greased out their, you know, driveway and had grease fires and burned themselves and burn the, because it's a mess.
Caesar Kalinowski:People would fill the, you know, it's a giant pot with like a crazy flame burner.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then they would fill it up with oil.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then it forget though, but a Turkey is like 12 pounds of displacement to drop it in.
Caesar Kalinowski:Boop.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like there's four gallons of boiling oil.
Caesar Kalinowski:All, I mean, it's spent in the hospital.
Caesar Kalinowski:It was just horrible.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:What was the other one that was like a tur chicken or it's like a duck inside, a chicken, inside a Turkey.
Heath Hollensbe:Something like that.
Heath Hollensbe:Oh yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:I don't remember that.
Heath Hollensbe:Uck
Caesar Kalinowski:or.
Heath Hollensbe:I dunno.
Caesar Kalinowski:Tur, Turin, Turin.
Caesar Kalinowski:And not to be confused with the, to Turkey or fo to something like that made of tofu and it's like shape of a Turkey.
Caesar Kalinowski:We did that one year ever.
Heath Hollensbe:So before, I dunno, I feel like vegans don't get to, I'm to celebrate this holiday.
Heath Hollensbe:I'm gonna skip.
Heath Hollensbe:No, come on.
Heath Hollensbe:Do you guys have any must haves at at the, at the table?
Heath Hollensbe:Like there's two things I'm a freak about.
Heath Hollensbe:I have to have the cranberry sauce with the whole cranberries.
Heath Hollensbe:Not the, not the jelly cut.
Heath Hollensbe:So you don't
Heath Hollensbe:want
Caesar Kalinowski:the jelly st That's the jam for us.
Caesar Kalinowski:We gotta go jelly with none the lumps in there.
Heath Hollensbe:Oh really?
Heath Hollensbe:No, I'm all lumps.
Heath Hollensbe:And then I'm, then we do these like y they're like jello things that are like first jello shots.
Heath Hollensbe:I wish, Hey kids
Caesar Kalinowski:PEs around the J. Hey one.
Caesar Kalinowski:One per customer buddy.
Caesar Kalinowski:Better be
Heath Hollensbe:thankful.
Heath Hollensbe:Better be thankful.
Heath Hollensbe:London.
Heath Hollensbe:No, it's like these little jello things that my grandma made.
Heath Hollensbe:It's always every year now it's three generations.
Heath Hollensbe:Three generations.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Jello things.
Heath Hollensbe:It's like.
Heath Hollensbe:You do red, red jello and then freeze it.
Heath Hollensbe:Oh, faith thing.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:And they're like little Lego bricks
Caesar Kalinowski:of jello
Heath Hollensbe:and they just with a little hot
Caesar Kalinowski:wheel car in each one, choking as blue right in there.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, for us, what, what is a must have?
Caesar Kalinowski:There's all kinds of food items, but there's uh, there's a plethora of polish foods, but, but aesthetically, there's a must have that I've inherited and it's the, what we call the pink plate.
Caesar Kalinowski:Whoa, what is this?
Caesar Kalinowski:So my grandmother always had these and we used them at every meal.
Caesar Kalinowski:'cause my grandma, you know, we're polish over just overeat.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's all about the meat.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the polish plate is actually a, um, a. Platter.
Caesar Kalinowski:They're not plates, they're platters and they're made out of like melamine or melanite or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's just like bulletproof precursor to plastic and some sort of like the shingles on a space shuttle or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's a, it's just a horrible gross looking pink color.
Caesar Kalinowski:But they hold so much food and they, they're indestructible, huh?
Caesar Kalinowski:So growing up we always had the pink plates and it was like, it meant party time.
Caesar Kalinowski:So when my grandparents both passed, no one cared about those but me and I got all the pink plates.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so now we have those platters.
Caesar Kalinowski:So you can actually fit like a portion and a half, or if you're strategic about it, two portions of food on it.
Caesar Kalinowski:So you don't have to go through the buffet once.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:The line.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know.
Caesar Kalinowski:So the pink plates, our must, maybe I'll post a picture.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, you should.
Caesar Kalinowski:That'd be
Heath Hollensbe:a
Caesar Kalinowski:fun little bit on the Facebook.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, I'll, on the Everyday Disciple Podcast, you know, Facebook page.
Caesar Kalinowski:Remind me.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm gonna post a picture of.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'll post a picture of my plate.
Heath Hollensbe:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:From this year full, it's like a trash can because we do a lot of photo bombing of pictures of stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, love it, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Anyway,
Heath Hollensbe:did you, uh, I know a lot of our listeners probably right now are either, you know, they're, they're traveling to their destination, and did you get, did when you were a kid or even your growing up, did you have good memories of Thanksgiving?
Heath Hollensbe:Was it fun?
Heath Hollensbe:Was it not so much?
Heath Hollensbe:Like what made it stand out?
Heath Hollensbe:You know what, I'd say
Caesar Kalinowski:the, I would say the best.
Caesar Kalinowski:We, we always did it at my grandmother's.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:We did, we did every birthday from my, my family, so me and my folks, and my sibs and my dad and, uh, his, his sister and her husband and sibs.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Every family thing was always those two families together, so we were like one giant family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:So Thanksgiving was a part of that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now, as we got older, that moved to.
Caesar Kalinowski:My mom would have it or we would kind of rotate it around.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And those could be fun or not as fun depending on who hosted and their hospitality skills and all that, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:But generally, yeah, I have really positive memories of that.
Caesar Kalinowski:And because Tina, who's gonna be on the show here in a few minutes with us, uh, is so good at all that stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Both the cooking, but also just making people feel great about it.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, I have.
Caesar Kalinowski:Really pretty positive Thanksgiving experiences.
Heath Hollensbe:That's
Caesar Kalinowski:great, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and we, uh, we always have Abu a bunch of people.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, not family, but family, you know, like friends that are family.
Caesar Kalinowski:We've always had that.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, uh, now there again, not growing up, growing up it was closed, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:It was a closed circuit, you know, that's their
Heath Hollensbe:family day.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, I can't remember seriously, a guest at Thanksgiving ever growing up.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm not saying it never happened.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:I have no recollection of it ever happening, so it couldn't, it couldn't have been a super common thing.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:But once we sort of started having our own.
Caesar Kalinowski:Team K, open up the doors.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, man, it was, it's always, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And same, same here
Heath Hollensbe:this week.
Heath Hollensbe:That's cool, man.
Heath Hollensbe:You know, it's a, it's a good time of year.
Heath Hollensbe:I wish it happened more often to kinda remind us of our thankfulness, but this is a really great season to be reminded of.
Heath Hollensbe:Of how good God is as as our provider, you know?
Heath Hollensbe:And sometimes I'm just finishing up a 30
Caesar Kalinowski:day gratefulness like challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, cool.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like I've been journaling, like I've never journaled before and every day trying to write down at least three things that I'm grateful for.
Caesar Kalinowski:But yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:But this is sort of the pinnacle, the big day
Heath Hollensbe:coming up.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:You know, sometimes it's like, uh, we throw it in as like a little reference and a prayer at the beginning of the meal, but actually developing a heart of gratitude.
Heath Hollensbe:This is a great season that that reminds us.
Heath Hollensbe:It does take a lot of time.
Heath Hollensbe:It takes intentionality and, yeah, and how when we're not intentional, like even you're saying with your journaling.
Heath Hollensbe:You're amazed that when you do put a little bit of intentionality to it, it's like, holy cow, this is life changing.
Caesar Kalinowski:It really cha, it's, I have to say, I mean, duh, but it's changed the tone of my day.
Caesar Kalinowski:When you start out with like intentional gratitude and just counting your blessings, you guess what?
Caesar Kalinowski:The day looks pretty good.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And really, I would say probably everybody listening to this, the show right now, um, most of our really horrible things are pretty first world problems.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now we have sickness and there's issues in our family.
Caesar Kalinowski:They're heavy and all that.
Caesar Kalinowski:I get that.
Caesar Kalinowski:But we, um, we all benefit.
Caesar Kalinowski:I can, I think, can benefit greatly from spending more time with gratefulness and gratitude.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, little little note about that, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like the traditional like.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, you haven't seen your family all year, so now you're sitting at Thanksgiving table.
Caesar Kalinowski:So let's go around and say what we're thankful for.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then we don't, we're not really, but we have to say it.
Caesar Kalinowski:So it's kind of, you know, here's a just a, I mean a quick little tip.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Put that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Near the end of the meal or during dessert?
Caesar Kalinowski:Not at the head.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because people loosen up a little bit.
Caesar Kalinowski:They get a little food in their belly, they've had a little conversation, a few yucks, maybe a glass of wine or beer.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like things get a little bit, you know, more lubricated, you know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then I would say also lead by example.
Caesar Kalinowski:So everyone doesn't just give it a generic answer.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, maybe even summarize all the generic answers.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, Hey, I know we're all really grateful this year for our family and for health and for, you know, good food and friends.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, are everybody grateful for those things?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, what else are you grateful for?
Caesar Kalinowski:One thing that happened throughout this last year that you're really grateful for.
Caesar Kalinowski:Lemme tell you one for me, and then give 'em something real.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know what I mean?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Otherwise, everybody just goes like, well, I'm thankful for my spouse, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:I know God.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'd say put it towards the end of the meal, summarize all that generic stuff and try to move towards some actual gratefulness.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Right.
Heath Hollensbe:I don't know.
Heath Hollensbe:I do like that.
Heath Hollensbe:You know what's funny is take that for what it's worth.
Heath Hollensbe:So even last week, uh, we were talking about how to deal with difficult people in our lives and some people might be really Jones.
Heath Hollensbe:Was that just perfect timing for this holiday coming?
Heath Hollensbe:I know some people are on the just rejoicing that we did that last week.
Heath Hollensbe:Uh, but this really is a fantastic holiday for us to really rethink the concept of family and what it means to actually invite others into the family.
Heath Hollensbe:Like we've been adopted in the family of God, right?
Heath Hollensbe:Yes.
Heath Hollensbe:One episode that we did recently, 180 9, was about how to treat everybody like family and why.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:And exactly.
Heath Hollensbe:This does that for
Caesar Kalinowski:us, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:That's right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And this, and this is the time of year where I think it's perfect to rethink who's your family like, you know, Jesus said, who's your neighbor?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Who is your family?
Caesar Kalinowski:Really, if you hadn't, if you didn't hit catch episode 180 9, please go back and and check that out.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's great.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's gonna soften your heart and widen your circle.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, but, uh, it, it is, it is a perfect time of year to do that and refocus on who really is our family and, and think about how God has treated you, like think pre.
Caesar Kalinowski:Christ.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, think before you started to walk with Jesus and follow him.
Caesar Kalinowski:I know for some people it's like, well, I've been doing it since I was really little.
Caesar Kalinowski:How did God treat you though?
Caesar Kalinowski:How has God treated us as our whole lives?
Caesar Kalinowski:There's generosity, there's, there's overflowing portion, there's patience, there's a place at the table, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:There's all that stuff, and I, I think letting that, you know, gratitude and, and how we view people actually as family members.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like that's a brother.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Who doesn't have a place to be today?
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, that's a sister who we're really getting to know and I'd like her to feel like part of this family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like really rethink those things we get to going into this holiday.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I think that's gonna, um, that's gonna really open up our own hearts too, to experience a lot more, uh, gratefulness this, this Thanksgiving.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And or this Friendsgiving that we're gonna talk about here.
Heath Hollensbe:So why don't you tell us a little bit about Friendsgiving, uh, that happens here at, at the Team K House and some of the traditions that happen around this time of year, this day?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:This term,
Caesar Kalinowski:Friendsgiving.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't know exactly when it started, but it, it's kinda like, hey, if you don't have a family meal Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, 'cause maybe you live out of town or maybe you don't have family or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:You kinda have all your friends over, maybe.
Caesar Kalinowski:Maybe over and against having family.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't know.
Caesar Kalinowski:'cause I know my family are jerks or whatever, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um.
Caesar Kalinowski:You have 'em all over it, but you do, you know, you do either a traditional or maybe not so traditional meal Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Together and, you know, and you kinda rehearse your thankfulness and they call it Friendsgiving.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so, um, but for us, our, our Thanksgivings and team K, like, not when I was a kid, but now, you know, Tina and, and our household with our family team.
Caesar Kalinowski:K it's kind of always been a both end.
Caesar Kalinowski:And there was this always.
Caesar Kalinowski:Friends Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:That we invite, because there again, God has graced us to see everyone as family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so those people that are in the orb of our life, and some of them regularly, like, so of course they're invited.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and hopefully coming to be at Friendsgiving or Thanksgiving with us.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, but then there's other people too that just are in our lives like.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like someone at the cafe or at the restaurant that we frequent and you're like, Hey, you know Mike, I know Mike has no family left.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And we see him every freaking day.
Caesar Kalinowski:He eats seven days a week, you know, here at the restaurant.
Caesar Kalinowski:Perfect opportunity.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're inviting him into he's family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're gonna, you don't, like, would you want a brother or sister alone on that day when you have a, like, you have a place at your table.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, of course.
Caesar Kalinowski:Make room, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Of course you do.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, yeah, so we, um, we, we always try to have.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, and we talk about it.
Caesar Kalinowski:I mean, now, I mean Thanksgiving's just in a few days, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:But it's still not too late.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, we always try to say, Hey, who are all the people we really love and care about?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:That we see as family?
Caesar Kalinowski:And some of them see us as family back.
Caesar Kalinowski:Some don't yet.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:That's okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:This is a huge opportunity to start to treat them like family and help them feel like family and ultimately.
Caesar Kalinowski:To feel like they're part of God's family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's really the goal here.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm not trying to just be altruistic or sound all super spiritual, but that really is the goal.
Caesar Kalinowski:We've had years, uh, Tina and I in our home where we've had to set up like giant tables just jammed in to like the dining room or in the living room and the dining room or whatever, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then a folding table next to that, and then the kids are all over here, you know, sitting, you know, whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:Party's too big.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And we just had so many people.
Heath Hollensbe:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I'll be honest with you, when you, when you get so many people, when you get like 30, 40 people at a meal, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's not the best meal.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm just saying even with Tina's skills, you know, that's not even the point.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like no one cares.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:You could even serve tofu, you know, or whatever and well, people might care then, but it really, it's about having a place at the table.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:It really, really is.
Caesar Kalinowski:So lot.
Caesar Kalinowski:And a bunch of other stuff too that I'd like to share on how to, to you know, how to help people.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, feel like family.
Caesar Kalinowski:So you get to invite people to your Thanksgiving that are friends and make it a Friendsgiving or do too if you want to and have all your friends.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:I kinda like the blending of the two.
Caesar Kalinowski:'cause I don't like if I bifurcate and say, oh yeah, we're doing Thanksgiving later with our family, but this is now, it's like, oh, it feels safe.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're not your family.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's why I like blending the two, so.
Heath Hollensbe:So have you ever had any like pushback maybe by maybe some nuclear family members with you inviting people that aren't necessarily part of your.
Heath Hollensbe:Your day-to-day everyday life.
Heath Hollensbe:Family.
Heath Hollensbe:Family.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like those aren't our family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Have you
Caesar Kalinowski:ever got kickback?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, there, I have.
Caesar Kalinowski:There again, not as much.
Caesar Kalinowski:Probably on our watch, you know, Tina and I with Team K Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:But, um, with my own family growing up.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, I can remember, um, when this was starting to change in our life and we started seeing everybody's family.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're like, Hey, uh, you know, so and so in the family who's hosting Thanksgiving this year?
Caesar Kalinowski:Is it okay if we bring this family along or is it okay if we bring this guy along?
Caesar Kalinowski:Who's that guy?
Heath Hollensbe:Sure,
Caesar Kalinowski:no, this is for us, this is Thanksgiving's for family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, and that's my whole family is Christians and they would still come up with all their quote.
Caesar Kalinowski:Good, really good reasons.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so yeah, we would, we would get that kind of pushback.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I think I'll be, I'll be honest with you, it was probably, um, probably what started pushing us towards saying, Hey.
Caesar Kalinowski:Not every year we're gonna make it to the family Thanksgiving.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because we're gonna go ahead and have it with our family, which is pretty big and includes a whole lot of friends.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and you know, I would say also if, if you're gonna start inviting like folks to your, you know, traditional family Thanksgiving, that the answer there and your dad, and your grandma and all, you know, um, don't overwhelm them the first time by inviting.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, the entire line of people that you found outside the Salvation Army.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't go to the thrift store and say, Hey, listen, hand out flyers to your grandma's house, and she doesn't know they're coming.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't go nuts.
Caesar Kalinowski:But when, when there's special people that you really wanna be a part of it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Talk to your family and say, Hey, this, this is like a sister.
Caesar Kalinowski:This is like a sister, and I really want her to come to this.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and that's not only gonna be a blessing to them.
Caesar Kalinowski:But it's gonna start to bless your family as it opens their heart up a little bit bigger to see like God sees everybody's family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we get to as well.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:So let's, let's take all these blessings.
Caesar Kalinowski:We go around the table every year to what we're thankful for.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Let's share what we're thankful for.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, exactly.
Heath Hollensbe:And you were just saying a few minutes before we started recording about some ideas on I. On some people groups that you might just naturally wanna invite?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, I
Caesar Kalinowski:mean, you know, you think about like, oh, oh, I don't even know who I invite to that.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, I mean, maybe it's super obvious, but I'd say friends from work that you know, aren't, you know, it's really easy to know.
Caesar Kalinowski:What are they doing every year for Thanksgiving?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Nothing.
Caesar Kalinowski:I usually just, you know, watch football games, stay home, you know, TV, dinner or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:So friends from work, um, any neighbors who may not have family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Left, or they live very far away and you know, they can't afford to travel or they're, you know, they have the time 'cause of work or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, someone who's a regular, like I was saying, at a cafe or a pub or at the gym that you frequent.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so there again, this takes a little intentionality.
Caesar Kalinowski:Maybe this year you won't be able to do as much reconnaissance.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:But if you're thinking ahead, you know, month out, six weeks out and go like, I'm gonna start just asking people, Hey, holidays are coming.
Caesar Kalinowski:You looking forward to that?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, what do you guys, do?
Caesar Kalinowski:You got any traditions?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, you can pretty easily figure out who's doing what.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, and then I'd say.
Caesar Kalinowski:Anyone who's single or especially recently divorced people.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Generally it's like, oh man, you know, things went bad and our marriage kind of, you know, it's falling apart or whatever, you know, I don't really wanna face my family this year.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm, I can't go to his anymore, hers anymore.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's just weird.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's awkward for Why don't you bring the kids over?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Why don't you just bring the kids down over and we love you and it's great.
Caesar Kalinowski:And like, you know, so there's some ideas, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And there's plenty more, but they're, they're out there and with just a little bit of like.
Caesar Kalinowski:Normal colloquial conversation.
Caesar Kalinowski:You could figure out what are you up to this year?
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:What are you what, being a
Heath Hollensbe:decent human.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, exactly.
Heath Hollensbe:That's alright.
Heath Hollensbe:Let's get, let's get Tina on the show 'cause she's amazing.
Heath Hollensbe:Right?
Heath Hollensbe:There she is.
Heath Hollensbe:Here's Tina, everyone.
Heath Hollensbe:Hey Tina.
Heath Hollensbe:It's good having you here again, honey.
Heath Hollensbe:Always get, it's been a
Caesar Kalinowski:while.
Caesar Kalinowski:It has been.
Caesar Kalinowski:I didn't figure it was fair to talk about food and Thanksgiving and Friendsgiving without having you be a part of this.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah,
Caesar Kalinowski:she has to be mostly 'cause I didn't want to hear about it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like what?
Caesar Kalinowski:You should have said this.
Caesar Kalinowski:No, I'm just kidding.
Caesar Kalinowski:We were talking about this and I was like, you know what?
Caesar Kalinowski:Even better than you giving me all these killer tips, is you come on and give us all the killer tips.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, here I am the queen of hospitality.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Let's talk a little bit about, um, what you love Tina about the way we kind of do hollow or Halloween, the way we do Thanksgiving as a family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Team K let's say in the last couple decades when, you know we've taken the wheel.
Tina Kalinowski:Yeah, it's definitely grown over time.
Tina Kalinowski:Um, I think we started out a pretty, you know, normal, regular Thanksgiving and then started.
Tina Kalinowski:Inviting people in and now, and then after a while we realized, well, for one, we had a lot of people so that that, uh, required a little bit of different planning.
Tina Kalinowski:But we also realized that a lot of people were just not, um, maybe they were just a little too afraid to come to a big family Thanksgiving thing.
Tina Kalinowski:Sure.
Tina Kalinowski:And sometimes that's a
Caesar Kalinowski:little bit much Yes.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, or they feel like they're putting you out.
Caesar Kalinowski:They really wanna come.
Caesar Kalinowski:But they're like, uh, I don't know.
Caesar Kalinowski:Maybe, but I don't, you know, I think, I think so and so invited us.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm probably gonna be going over there for dinner.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:They're not really, you know.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Tina Kalinowski:And because part of our, uh, family traditions actually that we have a big salami egg breakfast brunch.
Tina Kalinowski:Really?
Tina Kalinowski:It's not breakfast because we do it very late in the morning.
Tina Kalinowski:Kinda do it
Caesar Kalinowski:all day.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Tina Kalinowski:It's kind of an all day thing.
Tina Kalinowski:But we start with this big salami brunch, so we started inviting people who were maybe a little hesitant to the brunch first.
Tina Kalinowski:Uh, and said, you know, why don't you come and, you know, have some brunch and then hang on a little mimosa
Caesar Kalinowski:and whatever, and then you can take off whenever you need to.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, yeah.
Tina Kalinowski:And, and it's always amazing to me how many people actually end up sticking around for the Yeah.
Tina Kalinowski:That turned out it didn't retired.
Tina Kalinowski:Yeah.
Tina Kalinowski:That's,
Caesar Kalinowski:that's, that's not happening after all.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm just gonna stick around if it's cool.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, totally.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's cool, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Totally cool.
Caesar Kalinowski:So that's, there again, now you really feel like family when you're showing up early and people are in their pajamas.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you're there.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's in the circle of family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:So kids are going
Heath Hollensbe:a
Caesar Kalinowski:little crazy.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's a little wild.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now, one thing I really wanted to talk about though, while we got Tina here, Heath, is um.
Caesar Kalinowski:How to make people feel like family, not like guests.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:When they come over and it's period.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:But let's really focus on how to make, how to make people feel welcome and feel like family, not like guests when they come over for, for Friendsgiving or Thanksgiving.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, and even how to make them feel like a family even during the process of inviting them to join you.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, because it kind of starts then, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Tina Kalinowski:Yeah, I, you know, that is probably the, the biggest key in this whole thing is treating people like family, not guests.
Tina Kalinowski:And sometimes it does start with me actually in my pajamas during brunch.
Tina Kalinowski:I, I will say that probably more often than not, I'm actually still in my pajamas at brunch time.
Tina Kalinowski:It's a day rest.
Tina Kalinowski:Uh, so you definitely get right into this is very low key in your part of the family.
Tina Kalinowski:Um, but.
Tina Kalinowski:Inviting people in when when you're inviting people, if they ask if they can bring something.
Tina Kalinowski:'cause most people feel like that's the thing that they should do.
Tina Kalinowski:Absolutely say yes.
Tina Kalinowski:And it almost doesn't matter what you, everybody ask wants to go, oh no,
Caesar Kalinowski:no, we got it all.
Caesar Kalinowski:You just bring you, we have a cup.
Tina Kalinowski:Yeah, just bring you don't do that.
Tina Kalinowski:That's not what family
Caesar Kalinowski:does.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like you gotta bring that thing that we all love.
Caesar Kalinowski:It makes
Tina Kalinowski:people actually feel a little bit.
Tina Kalinowski:You know, more comfortable to actually be bringing in and, and, uh, giving something and, and it's more helpful for you.
Tina Kalinowski:So when they say,
Caesar Kalinowski:when they say, so look, what can I bring?
Caesar Kalinowski:What do you tell 'em?
Tina Kalinowski:Um, well, my favorite thing for Thanksgiving, because it's such a tradition, is to ask people, what is it?
Tina Kalinowski:That your family usually has on Thanksgiving, and could you bring that, you know, some people, what's your favorite thing?
Tina Kalinowski:Maybe no one else would have.
Tina Kalinowski:Yeah, bring it back.
Tina Kalinowski:It's Thanksgiving for you.
Tina Kalinowski:And so, um, and if they could bring that, that's great.
Tina Kalinowski:If they can't, then I say, okay, why don't you just bring, you know, bring something to drink, bring a beverage, or bring a snack that will have before.
Tina Kalinowski:Don't you bring your favorite wine
Caesar Kalinowski:then?
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, like if they can't cook it, like, well, I have the special pot.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't have it.
Caesar Kalinowski:My mom has it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or, you know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Then yeah, well bring a special wine or something that you really enjoy.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, uh, and we'd, we'd all like to try that too.
Tina Kalinowski:And, and part of it is because then during the meal you can actually tell the stories about what it is you're drinking or eating, and it's another way to draw people into the conversations and Yeah.
Tina Kalinowski:Help them.
Tina Kalinowski:Feel like an important part of the day.
Tina Kalinowski:They're
Caesar Kalinowski:talking about their growing up and their family and why they always ate this and a certain thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:And like we, we have this meal, uh, dish, I guess rather called klu, which is really just a polish word for noodles, but it's these special type of Polish noodles that you, you.
Caesar Kalinowski:Put in, you cook 'em with, uh, butter and garlic and onions like crazy and then you bake it, sauerkraut and sauerkraut.
Caesar Kalinowski:And people are like, I don't know if I like sauerkraut.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, just try the loosies, bro.
Caesar Kalinowski:And people like lose their mind.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's so good.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so, but then we have to tell the whole story of how we do it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And like, so and so makes it a little different.
Caesar Kalinowski:But my mom made it this way 'cause my grandma did.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:So when people get to do that with their own meals
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Feels more like family than a guest.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Something that you guys do that I always appreciate, uh, whether it be via launch or different parties you have, is that.
Heath Hollensbe:Whatever time we show up.
Heath Hollensbe:You guys already have stuff pre laid out.
Heath Hollensbe:It's not like, eh, we're gonna get things going here in a little bit when everyone gets here, when the important people get here.
Heath Hollensbe:But you guys start by setting the table even before guests get there.
Heath Hollensbe:I mean, not, you don't have the hot food out right away, but you always have something to snack on or drinks already.
Heath Hollensbe:And you know, I mean, think about a party, right?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:You sit around party,
Caesar Kalinowski:nothing in your hand.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's the weirdest.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's so weird.
Caesar Kalinowski:As soon as you have a cup of coffee, glass of water, a cookie, you know, anything, anything, it's like, boom.
Caesar Kalinowski:Different.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Even, you know, you're gonna, you're about to way overdo it with the food.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Tina Kalinowski:Yeah,
Caesar Kalinowski:have something else.
Caesar Kalinowski:So
Tina Kalinowski:yeah, that's, it's really helpful.
Tina Kalinowski:And, and that's a great thing to ask people to bring too, because those are really easy things if, you know, if they're not somebody who likes to cook or, you know, has a great kitchen or whatever.
Tina Kalinowski:So
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now when you have a lot of people come in and, and, and you haven't like super tightly monitored the heck out of everything.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know.
Caesar Kalinowski:Generally you're gonna end up stocking up a little.
Heath Hollensbe:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because you're gonna have like, okay, four boxes of Triscuits awesome.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:All this wine Cool.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, well that, that's for the next party, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's, that's another thing I love about that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well bring something from your childhood that you really, really like.
Caesar Kalinowski:Chances are people aren't bringing, two, people aren't bringing the same thing.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it'll fit right into the mix.
Caesar Kalinowski:I love that.
Caesar Kalinowski:So.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, Tina give us a few other things uh, that would help, you know, the dinner time run smoothly.
Caesar Kalinowski:'cause I know some people freak out thinking like it's, it's already enough stress to have my own family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like just my kids, my husband, and like my sister and their kids, you know, or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, I'm freaking out already.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, just some basic tips that would kind of help, you know, dinner time and, and the day run a little smoother.
Tina Kalinowski:Yeah.
Tina Kalinowski:Well, I definitely believe in lists for one, um, I, I. I write everything down.
Tina Kalinowski:'cause I know I'll forget if I don't.
Tina Kalinowski:Sure.
Tina Kalinowski:And I, I like, it's kind of a running joke in my family.
Tina Kalinowski:'cause I usually have two lists.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Tina Kalinowski:I have like my shopping list, my cooking list, and then I have the actual, what's gonna go on the table list.
Tina Kalinowski:Oh wow.
Tina Kalinowski:Um, yeah.
Tina Kalinowski:'cause I, 'cause I'll forget.
Tina Kalinowski:Sure.
Tina Kalinowski:Um, so lists are great.
Tina Kalinowski:But then also finding those jobs.
Tina Kalinowski:We usually
Caesar Kalinowski:leave something out, like in the freezer, in the garage.
Caesar Kalinowski:It
Tina Kalinowski:does happen.
Tina Kalinowski:End
Caesar Kalinowski:of the meal.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're like, Hey, what happened to the, oh my god.
Caesar Kalinowski:Gosh,
Tina Kalinowski:it's been But look since the lists.
Tina Kalinowski:Yeah.
Tina Kalinowski:Um, but also finding jobs that people can do to help you, because there's no reason why one person should try to do this for, you know, eight or 10 or 12 people.
Tina Kalinowski:And uh, you know, it just makes it easier on everybody.
Tina Kalinowski:But to set the table, anybody can set the table.
Tina Kalinowski:Yeah.
Tina Kalinowski:You know, or get to put the butter out or, um, you know, help you pull something together and, and
Caesar Kalinowski:so monitor the drinks.
Caesar Kalinowski:Everybody who comes in make sure they get a drink.
Tina Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, we're gonna have a toast in a minute.
Caesar Kalinowski:Can you pour the C champagne?
Caesar Kalinowski:We're gonna.
Caesar Kalinowski:Exactly.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:There again, if you want people to feel like family, that's what you would do with a family member.
Caesar Kalinowski:Literally not uncommon.
Caesar Kalinowski:People say, Hey, so what can I do?
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm like, you know what you could do?
Caesar Kalinowski:It'd be so awesome if you could grab these two bags, run 'em out to the garage.
Caesar Kalinowski:There's a huge green can dump that garbage for me?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, because I just haven't got to it.
Caesar Kalinowski:All the cooking today, no one's ever said no or felt offended.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure, some people are listening right now, but I would never have.
Caesar Kalinowski:A guest empty the garbage.
Caesar Kalinowski:But you would a family member.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So that's
Heath Hollensbe:the
Caesar Kalinowski:difference.
Caesar Kalinowski:Treat
Caesar Kalinowski:' Heath Hollensbe: em like family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so we don't stress even when we have a huge, you've been over for big things.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're not stressing because we'll just ask for help.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the same with the cleanup on the back end.
Caesar Kalinowski:It did happen at
Heath Hollensbe:the last launch, remember?
Heath Hollensbe:I was like, Hey, we, we, we forgot the ice.
Heath Hollensbe:Can you go grab some ice?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, we'll have to get the ice.
Heath Hollensbe:Which is great.
Heath Hollensbe:So you don't
Caesar Kalinowski:have to flip if, if you're trying to be perfect.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well that's, you know, that's another episode.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, like it's glorious issues maybe of that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Exactly.
Tina Kalinowski:And I think try, you know, trying not to have.
Tina Kalinowski:An idea, you know, too much of an idea of what you think the perfect day's gonna go like.
Tina Kalinowski:'cause it's probably not gonna happen.
Tina Kalinowski:Yeah.
Tina Kalinowski:So, you know, I would say have some bigger goals of like, you know, everybody's full and enjoying themselves as opposed to, you know, my, my Turkey looks perfect and you know, the gravy had no lumps and you know, I mean, stuff's gonna happen.
Tina Kalinowski:So no one's that worried
Caesar Kalinowski:about any of that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Tina Kalinowski:Your lunch, dinner being late.
Tina Kalinowski:I always shoot for a time.
Tina Kalinowski:We rarely time.
Tina Kalinowski:And
Caesar Kalinowski:here's one more power user tip.
Caesar Kalinowski:Have containers.
Caesar Kalinowski:To send leftovers home with people, like have Ziploc bags and those cheapy containers that aren't really that great, but they'll take stuff home, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:You don't have to worry about it coming back, you know, because that's what family does.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:I never one time ever have left a family Thanksgiving.
Caesar Kalinowski:Without leftovers.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Huh.
Caesar Kalinowski:Just haven't done it.
Caesar Kalinowski:My ma would make a whole second set of like Turkey and stuffing and all this stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm like, ma, we are never gonna need that much.
Caesar Kalinowski:She goes, well, I wanna send stuff home with everybody.
Caesar Kalinowski:I love that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, is
Tina Kalinowski:Turkey without leftover or, you know, what's Thanksgiving without leftover?
Tina Kalinowski:So everybody got
Caesar Kalinowski:a little bite meat.
Caesar Kalinowski:Everybody got a little this, everybody got a little sausage.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, you know, so, yeah.
Tina Kalinowski:Well, and, and the other thing I wanna talk about too is for people who feel like, oh, I can't.
Tina Kalinowski:Cook.
Tina Kalinowski:I don't really know how to do this for a lot of people.
Tina Kalinowski:It, it, there are so many stores that will, you can buy Thanksgiving in a box pretty much.
Tina Kalinowski:Sure.
Tina Kalinowski:They will almost do the whole thing for you.
Tina Kalinowski:You don't have to know how to do it and about
Caesar Kalinowski:what it costs to buy it raw these days.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Quite honestly.
Caesar Kalinowski:They just wanna sell you the food, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, exactly.
Caesar Kalinowski:You can go to, I mean, from where we live in a lot of the country, they're Safeway stores, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or there's Kroger's or Publix.
Caesar Kalinowski:They all do it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um.
Caesar Kalinowski:You can get the full and you can order in advance if you're hip to it, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:But you don't even have to the full Turkey dinner.
Caesar Kalinowski:Everything ready to go rock and roll and it's, it wouldn't even be that much more No.
Caesar Kalinowski:Than, than you just put most of the, yeah, you
Tina Kalinowski:heat it up in the microwave or the oven or whatever and you put it in
Caesar Kalinowski:nice like bowls and stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:When nobody knows.
Heath Hollensbe:Nobody knows it came from Safeway.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:So one question we get a lot from, from listeners and even in conversation, like at launch, we've had people come up, uh, that it's interesting and I hadn't thought about it too much, but it's like, how do we give thanks or say a prayer.
Heath Hollensbe:With mixed company when we're inviting a bunch of people in different belief systems, some people like maybe.
Heath Hollensbe:Might be people fake, some people not yet.
Heath Hollensbe:Some people Christians, some not.
Heath Hollensbe:How do we use the table to point to the generosity of God without not completely freaking everybody out?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, it's a good question.
Caesar Kalinowski:It comes up here, you know, just Missional Community life or I'm having a barbecue or whatever, like you said.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, um, I think, I think if there's ever a time when you get to say thanks or you know Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, or say Grace, you know, or whatever, you know, it would be Thanksgiving and no one is gonna be weirded.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:So if, if that's your tradition.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, this is the time you get to, but remember, if people aren't used to your tradition, just like any other tradition, you'd want to hip them to the tip or make it sort of easy to onboard.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, if there's a lot of little kids and all, you know, you don't wanna pass around a big prayer book, then people have to try to pronounce Hebrew and all, you know, it's all right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so, you know, if you hold hands, great.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hold hands.
Caesar Kalinowski:If you don't, you don't.
Caesar Kalinowski:But I, I suggest making the prayer very, very simple.
Caesar Kalinowski:And really everyday language.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's good.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I, I know people that will pray, preach.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, they pray and they pray and then they start preaching and you can tell like, oh, they're taking my aunt down again.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like they're going after her.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, it's like we're, we're, let's eat.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So don't pray, preach and keep it really simple and keep it really normal language.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, you know, I'll do stuff like, Hey, you know, like.
Caesar Kalinowski:You guys wanna hold hands?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, is is it too weird?
Caesar Kalinowski:Should we hold hands?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sometimes we like to do that.
Caesar Kalinowski:We actually do it every meal, but like that I don't have to do, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:And everybody kinda likes it, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:And if they don't or if anybody seems shy about it, you don't like force their hand and whatever, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:And I, and then I'll just like, I usually look around, Bible says, watch and pray.
Caesar Kalinowski:So I keep my eyes open, I just look people in the eyes and I go, thank you God so much for this day.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And thank you that we have a home to do this in and that we have good friends and family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Thank you for your generosity.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well look at all the stuff we get to eat today.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So it's real normal.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And thank you, God for sending your son to love us.
Caesar Kalinowski:And save us.
Caesar Kalinowski:And redeem us so we can enjoy stuff like this.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Amen.
Caesar Kalinowski:So it's gospel, it's simple.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're looking around at people and they're like, dig in.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, it's just, it's, it's not this heavy solemn, like four minute hands are sweating, you know, holding the next guys and you're like, oh my God.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like
Heath Hollensbe:the meet the parents with Ben Stiller when they're, that's the scene I always go back to.
Heath Hollensbe:It's like, it doesn't have to be weird.
Heath Hollensbe:And I think the other thing is like, invite kids into that.
Heath Hollensbe:Lemme me start
Caesar Kalinowski:quoting
Heath Hollensbe:a. Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:No.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Day by day.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Oh, benevolent lord of hosts.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:It's so good.
Heath Hollensbe:But the other thing is to have kids involved too.
Heath Hollensbe:'cause they really do help bring things together.
Heath Hollensbe:Like, Hey, what do you, you know, this is not just a conversation for the adults.
Heath Hollensbe:Like, what are you grateful for?
Heath Hollensbe:What are you thankful for, uh, in mining that as well.
Heath Hollensbe:All right.
Heath Hollensbe:Lots of good stuff here.
Heath Hollensbe:Let's get to the big three.
Heath Hollensbe:You get that for free.
Heath Hollensbe:Those are the big three takeaways we want you to walk away with right now from this episode.
Heath Hollensbe:To get that, just go to everyday Disciple dot com slash big three.
Heath Hollensbe:Caesar, what are the big three for this week?
Caesar Kalinowski:Alright, uh, and most of these are gonna come from our talk with Tina.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:But I'm gonna go real quick.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, uh, first of the big three, don't worry about trying to pull off the perfect quote unquote dinner.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:A place at the table and flexibility.
Caesar Kalinowski:Are the key things to remember here.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like something burns, you don't have it today.
Caesar Kalinowski:You forget the buns, whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:We don't have a bun, you know?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:When you open up a space at your table for someone, it's like they're being invited to God's table.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because in fact.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's happening.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:They really are.
Caesar Kalinowski:Everything we own is dad's.
Caesar Kalinowski:He gave it to us.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're all born naked and we had nothing.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're gonna leave that way.
Caesar Kalinowski:Everything we have comes from God.
Caesar Kalinowski:Let's just share it like, you know, he intends.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Love it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Second, um, treat everyone like family, not guests.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, that's all I need to say about that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, just think about how you treat a guest and like a hotel, treats a guest and all that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And treat people like family instead.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that includes asking 'em to help, asking 'em to stick around.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, inviting 'em afterwards.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, people are like leaving.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, we're gonna watch a movie and just kinda like sleep through it.
Caesar Kalinowski:You wanna do that, you know, whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Treat people like family.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then third, um, this is like the action part.
Caesar Kalinowski:And this is a challenge.
Caesar Kalinowski:Get started inviting people right now.
Caesar Kalinowski:Grab your phone.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're listening on a phone probably as soon as the episode ends in about a second here, you know, um, grab your phone, give a person a call.
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't try to do invites by text.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, you wanna, you know, give 'em a call.
Caesar Kalinowski:And even if you think they may say no or they have a commitment already, let me just assure you your invitation.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and telling them like you're thankful for them and why you'd like to have them.
Caesar Kalinowski:Your invitation alone is gonna be a blessing to those folks even if they can't make it to dinner.
Heath Hollensbe:That's true, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, but I think you'll be shocked at how many people, especially with only a few days out this year, you can plan, you know, longer range next year.
Caesar Kalinowski:But with it being so close now.
Caesar Kalinowski:Maybe from the time you're here and it might be a day or two only.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, anybody who's not committed to doing something, they're gonna be really grateful to have some people to hang out with.
Heath Hollensbe:Absolutely.
Heath Hollensbe:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:So a place at the table, treat 'em like family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, and don't worry about it being perfect.
Caesar Kalinowski:It'd be great.
Heath Hollensbe:Thanks for those Caesar.
Heath Hollensbe:You get those again by gonna everyday Disciple dot com slash big three.
Heath Hollensbe:We'll get 'em right away to you.
Heath Hollensbe:And thanks to Tina.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, Tina, thanks for being with us.
Heath Hollensbe:Always great having you.
Tina Kalinowski:Always great being here.
Heath Hollensbe:Hey, uh, if you have not yet, join our Facebook group by going to the search bar on Facebook and typing in Everyday Disciple Podcast.
Heath Hollensbe:And a challenge for this week is I would love for you to put some sort of photo of your, your Thanksgiving table or the party that you're having at your house.
Heath Hollensbe:Just add those to the group and we can contribute in the face group anything.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, I'd love to see what people are, or if you go like, Hey, you gotta try this recipe.
Heath Hollensbe:This is what our family does.
Heath Hollensbe:Ideas like this is a place to let the, the Facebook group come back.
Heath Hollensbe:I'll tell you
Caesar Kalinowski:what, if
Heath Hollensbe:we
Caesar Kalinowski:get, if we get 25 pictures posted, okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Different pictures not from the same person.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay?
Caesar Kalinowski:25 people post at least a picture from their Thanksgiving, something going on.
Caesar Kalinowski:If.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and then hopefully more.
Caesar Kalinowski:So that's the minimum.
Caesar Kalinowski:Then, uh, we will pick our favorite and I will have a very special gift for them.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, I love that.
Caesar Kalinowski:I really will.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:I really will.
Caesar Kalinowski:So post those pictures, make 'em fun, make 'em silly.
Caesar Kalinowski:Make 'em great.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, and I will pick our favorite if we get at least 25.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I'll have something really cool.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:I really will.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'll give them a cool gift.
Caesar Kalinowski:Gonna send you some leftovers.
Caesar Kalinowski:Just kidding.
Caesar Kalinowski:A bag of klu skis.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're gonna love this Noodles and soccer thing.
Heath Hollensbe:Oh God.
Heath Hollensbe:This cra I can't do this.
Heath Hollensbe:No, you
Caesar Kalinowski:would though.
Caesar Kalinowski:You'd love it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, I'll try.
Caesar Kalinowski:Alright, I'm gonna, that's your gift.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right.
Heath Hollensbe:Thanks for joining us today.
Heath Hollensbe:For more information on this show and to get loads of free discipleship resources, visit everyday Disciple dot com.
Heath Hollensbe:And remember, you really can live with a spiritual freedom and relational peace that Jesus promised every day.