Discipleship Is Spiritually Re-Parenting People
So many people were never taught the basic skills needed for everyday life—let alone how to see it all through the lens of the gospel. Discipleship isn’t just a transfer of biblical knowledge or theology; it’s about helping people actually live as part of God’s family. And in many ways, it’s like reparenting others in light of what our Father now says is true about them.
This week on the Everyday Disciple Podcast, we talk about how discipleship often mirrors what it’s like raising kids. Over the years, I’ve seen the same patterns in our missional community that my wife and I walked through while raising our own kids. It’s slow. It’s beautiful. It takes grace and patience. But it’s how people learn to live out their new identity in Christ.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
- Why discipleship is truly a form of reparenting people
- The key areas in life where people need help learning to live like God’s kids
- Why traditional discipleship often misses the mark on real life transformation
- How God equips us to be spiritual parents who walk with others in love and grace.
From this episode:
“Teaching, modeling and sharing the love of God and his grace with others is our highest calling! In Christ, we have been given a new identity, we share in his authority here on Earth, and we have inherited great privilege as sons and daughters of the King. Walking in light of all of this and teaching younger siblings (in both age or maturity) how the gospel speaks into and transforms all of life is a privilege and part of Jesus’ great co-mission to us all.”
Each week the Big 3 will give you immediate action steps to get you started.
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Thanks for Listening!
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Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Coaching and Mentorship in Discipleship as a Lifestyle by Caesar and his wife Tina
Missio Publishing– Resources for missional living and group training
In light of today’s topic, you might find this helpful:
The Best Parenting Advice I Ever Got
Transcript
I'm increasingly struck by how many of the things that my wife and I did with our kids as they grew up, how they're so similar to things we find ourself replicating with others now in Missional Community.
Caesar Kalinowski:I. For instance, early in our lives, we taught our children how to set up a personal budget and decide how they'd spend their money.
Caesar Kalinowski:Asking for God's guidance and wisdom.
Caesar Kalinowski:We taught them to be patient and the difference between wants and needs.
Caesar Kalinowski:And now we've had to do the same thing where we get to do the same thing with so many other people in community.
Caesar Kalinowski:We trained our children how to serve others and our extended family through babysitting, cooking meals.
Caesar Kalinowski:Cleaning houses or raking leaves.
Caesar Kalinowski:Many in our community have learned to work hard and serve others in the same ways.
Caesar Kalinowski:With us at home, I taught my son and daughters how to fix their bikes, stop a leak, paint a wall, and properly clean up when the job is finished.
Caesar Kalinowski:And over the years in community, we've had to teach myriads of young people all these same things as they started families and new Missional communities.
Caesar Kalinowski:So many people have never been taught these things or learned how to view all of life.
Caesar Kalinowski:Through the lens of the gospel.
Caesar Kalinowski:Discipleship includes seeding, kingdom multiplication into every area of life, not just teaching the Bible and theology.
Caesar Kalinowski:In many ways, discipleship is a re-parenting of others, showing them how to live in God's family.
Caesar Kalinowski:In light of what our father now says is true of them.
Heath Hollensbe:Welcome to the Everyday Disciple Podcast, where you'll learn how to live with greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits into every area of life.
Heath Hollensbe:In other words, discipleship as a lifestyle.
Heath Hollensbe:This is the stuff your parents, pastors and seminary professors probably forgot to tell you.
Heath Hollensbe:And now here's your host, Caesar Kalinowski.
Caesar Kalinowski:Good to be with you, as always, my friend, and I'm excited for where the show's gonna go today.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Discipleship is re-parenting, huh?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, it's not really a parenting episode, but it's, it's such a cool parallel and we talk so often about, um, here I'm diving right in.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't mean to, but we, we talk so often about life and community, and life in the kingdom is really living in God's family, that it's family life and that the parallels are, they're, they're forever.
Caesar Kalinowski:There's so many of 'em.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we're gonna go pretty deep into that Anyway, how the heck are you this week?
Heath Hollensbe:Good man.
Heath Hollensbe:Uh, a little dreary day today, right?
Heath Hollensbe:We're in the, starting in the middle of summer and it's rainy and cold.
Heath Hollensbe:20 degree difference from yesterday.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:From Sunshine to, yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:It'll be back to Sun tomorrow, whenever.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's okay, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm not complaining.
Heath Hollensbe:I, uh, Kathleen and I went and saw a really great concert.
Heath Hollensbe:I know you're a concert goer.
Heath Hollensbe:Like we, we've done Brian, we still do quite a shows.
Heath Hollensbe:We still do a lot of shows.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:We just went and saw Train and Goo Dolls and that was.
Heath Hollensbe:Like a way back
Caesar Kalinowski:machine.
Heath Hollensbe:I know.
Heath Hollensbe:It, it, it was a little sentimental.
Heath Hollensbe:'cause I remember my first car at 16 driving to the beach in Southern California listening to Goo Dolls and to see 'em now, you know, they're old and they're getting, Tina
Caesar Kalinowski:recently saw a train and she kept sending me little, like, snippet videos.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like with, oh my, you know, oh my gosh.
Caesar Kalinowski:I can't believe these, this was their hit too.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, does train have more hits than we could ever all remember?
Caesar Kalinowski:It was literally every song I was like,
Heath Hollensbe:I forgot about this one.
Heath Hollensbe:That's, and you know what's, what was really cool was, um.
Heath Hollensbe:So the lead singer, pat lives in Sam Amish, just like by Iqua, Sam Amish.
Heath Hollensbe:But, uh, this guitar player, their guitar player, did this incredible guitar solo and he said, ladies and gentlemen, from Tacoma, Washington.
Heath Hollensbe:So Tacoma's representing, there you go, buddy train.
Heath Hollensbe:You're all proud.
Heath Hollensbe:We're all proud of Tacoma Teton.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:You know, so one of the things that even as you were just doing this intro that I, I thought was fascinating was that this idea of discipleship in many ways, parallels parenting or even reparenting people.
Heath Hollensbe:And I've never actually thought about it that way.
Heath Hollensbe:Um.
Heath Hollensbe:And I'm sure that many of the listeners here have not maybe connected those dots either.
Heath Hollensbe:So I coin, I coined that phrase, I dunno, trademark that.
Heath Hollensbe:I dunno.
Heath Hollensbe:Maybe you can explain to us how you came up with this idea and how it served you throughout the years in different communities of folks that you've been with.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, it, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't know where it came from.
Caesar Kalinowski:It might just popped into our heads one day, but it really was kind of, you know, after years of being in community with people, we started noticing in so many ways a lot of our friends had not been parented very well.
Heath Hollensbe:Mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like seriously, you know, a lot of people, they're just like, well, my parents were in the home.
Caesar Kalinowski:They just made sure we were fed and not in jail, kind of thing, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Even believers, it's just Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:So they weren't parented that well, and in some cases it was because their parents were absent for much of their life.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:But for many, it was just like their parents had not been very intentional about teaching their kids a lot of the stuff that prepares them for healthy community and friendships and marriages and, and certainly not a lot of parenting them on how to see the gospel.
Caesar Kalinowski:Applied to all of life, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so we started kind of commenting on how many parallels there were.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like remember when we taught, you know, our son this, like we just had to teach like four guys that, you know, remember how when we had this whole big thing about why it's important, like, you know, let's cut our lawn and be a good neighbor.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like we're having to teach that.
Caesar Kalinowski:'cause we're showing up at people's houses for meals and all, and they're in community and they love Jesus, but they're like, man, you're, you look like the worst house in the neighborhood.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, like, let's redeem this, let's restore this, you know, whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so we kind of started saying, you know, discipleships in so many ways is reparenting people and reparenting the culture.
Caesar Kalinowski:And a lot of what we're gonna talk about today, think of the, you know, it's not just task, but it's like the ethos.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like.
Caesar Kalinowski:Really developing the environment, a parenting environment that is grace based.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it would be much like what it's like to hang out with dad.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Our, our father in heaven is earthly family should be amazing, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:This term reparenting though it's out there, sometimes it's called limited reparenting.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, but it's, it's actually like a psychological process to people use and it's when like a, a, a therapist of some sort takes the role of a concerned and trustworthy parent.
Caesar Kalinowski:A person so that that client of theirs can learn what a trusting relationship is like.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now think about that.
Caesar Kalinowski:We talk about discipleship and building trust and that's how you know all that.
Caesar Kalinowski:So now even from a clinical standpoint, it's like someone takes on this role so people start to realize, oh, this is what it looks like.
Caesar Kalinowski:Not to live in fear and Sure trust.
Caesar Kalinowski:People and be open about yourself and let your redemption show and all that.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I found this quote.
Caesar Kalinowski:It says, parenting helps an individual repair, attachments and develop more secure and healthy relationships.
Caesar Kalinowski:And this is Rachel O'Neill, who's like a professional counselor and big person, and she goes on to say, it can help an individual recognize and repair patterns of non-functional behavior.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so I go, oh man, see, I I knew we were onto something.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, exactly.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because that's, think about in so many ways discipleship is that it really is.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so even with those friends and disciples that had Christian parents growing up, we realized that the church has, for the most part, not taught people how to live in the kingdom of God.
Caesar Kalinowski:In other words, what's it like to live in our perfect Heavenly Father's household and then invite others into the family as well?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:They really do need to be.
Caesar Kalinowski:Reparented doing air quotes now.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, they need to be reparented into the ways of Jesus and our Abba Daddy.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I'm increasingly struck by how many of the things my wife and I did with our own kids as they grew up are the same things that we find ourselves replicating with others.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now, in Missional Community, for instance, early in their lives, we taught our kids how to set up a personal budget and decide how they'd spend their money and, and like, let's not just.
Caesar Kalinowski:Do it based on our own love of stuff, but let's ask God for guidance and wisdom.
Caesar Kalinowski:We taught 'em how to be patient.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sometimes you have to wait honey and save, or sometimes maybe you'll change your mind and, and what's the difference between wants and needs?
Caesar Kalinowski:And the list goes on and on.
Caesar Kalinowski:And now we're fine.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're doing the same thing with people in community and not just like 20 somethings or teenagers, but like.
Caesar Kalinowski:People.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:Really.
Heath Hollensbe:So, um, obviously you've been in community for quite a long time with various groups and even in different geographic area, you know, from Chicago to New York to here.
Heath Hollensbe:What are some of the top areas of life that you've seen?
Heath Hollensbe:Most people, most of us need to actually be reparented in.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, like I was sort of saying earlier, it was everything from how to set up a budget to how to set the table for dinner or how to sweep up or load a dishwasher, you know, properly.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So stuff's not getting broken or, or whatever, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, and, and we've had to address personal hygiene.
Caesar Kalinowski:And study habits and bad habits and healthy habits and how to paint a wall or pack a suitcase for a trip.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, it's like crazy.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're like, Hey, we're, you know, we're on this trip and we're taking some people overseas to go do mission, and you look and they're sharing a room with you and you open up their suitcase and it's like, whoa.
Caesar Kalinowski:The stench hitch you and everything's just in a ball.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's, did you wash any of that?
Caesar Kalinowski:No, I didn't really teach, have time.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, well, where do you think you're gonna do that?
Caesar Kalinowski:We're in the middle of, you know, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:All this kinda stuff, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, you know how to, how to.
Caesar Kalinowski:Take care of your lawn and your shrubbery.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, really, like, I remember literally like, like, well, you can shape it like a ball, or we can cut into the middle, or this, this is dead.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we have to, you know, um, but it's, it's also in how to handle alcohol or dealing with loved ones who are really sick or dealing with death.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, it's, it's, it's kind of, it's all of it, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:But then.
Caesar Kalinowski:How does the gospel speak into it?
Caesar Kalinowski:So there's functionality, but there's also, whoa, so many opportunities then to like use gospel fluency and speak.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, no, the gospel speaks into that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Why?
Caesar Kalinowski:What would our motivation be for that?
Caesar Kalinowski:If we love God and want others to see what he's really like and what life and his family's like.
Caesar Kalinowski:Is it a mess?
Caesar Kalinowski:Is it last minute?
Caesar Kalinowski:Are we the worst people on the block?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Are we never prepared?
Caesar Kalinowski:Do we not keep our word, do we, you know, like when we help, do we really help?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like all that stuff is part of showing off.
Caesar Kalinowski:Our awesome dad.
Heath Hollensbe:You know, you know what's funny is we, one of the, even in the slogan of our, our intro on the show, it says where each week you learn how to live with greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits into every area of life.
Heath Hollensbe:And I love the practicalness of this because when I think of traditional discipleship, it typically deals with none of the practical.
Heath Hollensbe:It's usually like nine or 10.
Heath Hollensbe:Either theological or doctrinal topics that get covered in a very like systematic way.
Heath Hollensbe:Mm-hmm.
Heath Hollensbe:How to think.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:We're gonna teach you what to think rather than how to think for yourself.
Heath Hollensbe:Tons of Bible verses.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:That connect to each topic and are typically pulled out for that specific topic.
Heath Hollensbe:Memorize those.
Heath Hollensbe:Fit an agenda.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Right.
Heath Hollensbe:Then you're good.
Heath Hollensbe:But it, why do you think it is that you see so many life categories like that as a. An important discipleship issues that need to be parented in a new or better way.
Heath Hollensbe:Like why worry about how someone sets the table or if they never mow their lawn?
Heath Hollensbe:Because it seems most people are too afraid to actually address this holistic form of discipleship like that because like they might offend somebody or offend
Caesar Kalinowski:everybody, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well for sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:I mean, and it, and there's obviously, there's a lot of ways to do anything in life, but when, when you, when you're doing life in community, you're starting to set family culture, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:And so part of this is you get to.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, I, I can think of some friends of ours who were like, man, it was getting tough for the guy's wife and she didn't wanna have friends over.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because even when they'd help clean up, it would take her three days to find all her dishes.
Caesar Kalinowski:'cause they put 'em all in the wrong place and everything.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, you know, at one point they finally had to say, Hey, listen, we so appreciate your help, but it really doesn't make sense to put like.
Caesar Kalinowski:A fork, like up next to the bowls.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then, you know, over here the pan or stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:So could we just show you kind of how our household rolls and, and why it kinda makes sense to us?
Caesar Kalinowski:And then, then you can really help in a way that helps, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:But there's all kinds of ways to do things, but think about it, relational tensions in community that come from prejudice or laziness or selfishness, or even just ignorance.
Caesar Kalinowski:'cause I don't know, I was never taught anything on that.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:It's all at the center of true discipleship.
Caesar Kalinowski:Think about it, the way you set up your budget.
Caesar Kalinowski:And manage and experience money and generosity.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's really a big deal in life and it's clearly connected to the gospel, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:Absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, think about how many people, like did your parents teach how to do a budget?
Caesar Kalinowski:I. No.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, if I got online and I downloaded one Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:But does it speak into the gospel?
Caesar Kalinowski:Speaking into that and like categories and like my why you might wanna budget like blessing money.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, and start to train the, even if it's 10 bucks a month, 'cause you know, we're broke or whatever it's like, but the kids and I, we sit down, we pray over it, we have a blast, and we figure out who's giving out 10 bucks.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well the kids don't even have 10 bucks, so it feels like a lot to them and we're training their hearts or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:But the really important re-parenting is most closely connected with relationships.
Caesar Kalinowski:Both with people and with God.
Caesar Kalinowski:How to earn and regain trust and how to seek and ask for forgiveness.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, you know, let, let me give you a global view on why I'm saying this.
Caesar Kalinowski:When you think about what was ultimately broken at the fall of mankind, I. It was humans' relationship with God.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right now, they're hiding, freaking out, covering themselves up.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the relationship between humans blaming each other, hiding that we're making an shame, now they're covering up and they're blaming each other.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so this idea that we are, we're gonna really do a lot of.
Caesar Kalinowski:Reparenting in a lot of little areas, so people just, they know how to be in community better, you know, and do life well, and like, not ask themselves or be constantly broke or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, but also we're really gonna dig into reparenting relationships and trust and like, this is what dad's like, and because his opinion counts of us the most, he's the most glorious.
Caesar Kalinowski:Then we don't have to fear what everybody else thinks.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's not like, eh, screw you.
Caesar Kalinowski:Then it's like, you know what, I, I wanna serve you well, but in the meantime, I'm not.
Caesar Kalinowski:Crushed that you weren't happy with it.
Caesar Kalinowski:I can do better next time, but I feel great about our relationship 'cause I know God loves me and I love you.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, and none of that stuff's usually taught.
Caesar Kalinowski:And to me that's like, that should be parented in.
Caesar Kalinowski:It.
Caesar Kalinowski:Gets to be parented in.
Caesar Kalinowski:So that's, you know, that's some of the really important re-parenting work.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know,
Heath Hollensbe:I, I can't go further on or too much further, at least without talking about our common working definition of discipleship.
Heath Hollensbe:And if you've listened to the show for any amount of time, you know that we describe discipleship as helping others move from unbelief to belief concerning the truth of the gospel and absolutely every area of life.
Heath Hollensbe:Mm-hmm.
Heath Hollensbe:How do you see that fitting into this idea of discipleship as
Caesar Kalinowski:re-parenting?
Caesar Kalinowski:I'll give you an example.
Caesar Kalinowski:That we all need to come to understand properly if we're to enjoy life to the fullest as it's meant to be experienced in God's family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it has to do with fear of man issues and seeing and believing that God is the most glorious one.
Caesar Kalinowski:I was just kind of riffing on that a second ago.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:But, but coming to see that God is the most glorious one in our lives and that his opinion of us is ultimately the one that matters most.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so think about it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, we're not generally parented that way.
Caesar Kalinowski:We, we, we don't have that kind of hope and like, well, that kind of hurt.
Caesar Kalinowski:But you know what I'm thinking?
Caesar Kalinowski:The glorious one who hung the moon literally in stars and created me, loves me and sent his son to die for me.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so I can trust in that love and that grounds me in a different way so that my relationships change.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like the way I was parented when I was growing up was that everyone walked on eggshells around each other when there was like any kind of an argument or.
Caesar Kalinowski:Disagreement or even a difference of opinion, like what show we're gonna watch or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And we were taught to keep our mouth shut for fear of making things worse or upset my dad or one of my older sisters getting ticked off or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it was bad parenting.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it crushes real gospel community.
Caesar Kalinowski:Unless we get reparented into the belief that God's our perfect father who loves us, regardless of what we say or do.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or don't say or do.
Caesar Kalinowski:'cause we're all gonna blow it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's not the point.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, don't piss people off.
Caesar Kalinowski:The point is, are you securing the father's love so that you can then begin to love others?
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like so it's not about what we say or don't say or do or don't do.
Caesar Kalinowski:And since we have his unconditional love in his unmerited favor, we don't have to fear what others think of us.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:Especially when we're speaking the truth.
Caesar Kalinowski:And in love to others.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:But even when we're wrong or confused or afraid, God loves us and his love sets us free to love others.
Caesar Kalinowski:And.
Caesar Kalinowski:Speak the truth and seek real relationships based on actually loving the other person, not based on managing their expectations of us by living in silence or walking around on eggshells or in fear and dread.
Caesar Kalinowski:See, that's actually just selfish and me focused.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like there's all this stuff going on that's weird and hurtful, but I don't wanna say anything 'cause I don't want, you know, I don't want anybody coming down on me, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, no, that's just actually me using you.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm just, I'm, I'm working you so that I can feel a certain way and maintain my control over situation.
Caesar Kalinowski:And this particular example of moving from unbelief to belief is also what sets us free to be able to Disciple people in every area of life.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And things like how to set the table or wash the dishes.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or their armpits or you fill in the blank.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right, right.
Caesar Kalinowski:So much of this.
Caesar Kalinowski:Has to do with repairing being the culture within which people live or lived.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Creating grace based environments for people to learn and grow and make some mistakes and grow some more.
Caesar Kalinowski:All without the fear that we'll quit on them.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or that we'll bail on them or shove 'em out, or shame them for being, you know, right where they're at.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:We get to be, see, but if we don't, like, for instance, if we don't move from unbelief to belief about who's the most glorious one, then we'll never speak.
Caesar Kalinowski:Truth into other weird stuff like, oh, I don't know, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:He always does that and then he doesn't clear his plate and he leaves that there in a greasy thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then he feeds the dog stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:I've asked him, not like we get to, we get to talk about
Heath Hollensbe:all that stuff, especially if we look at it as a family.
Heath Hollensbe:Right.
Heath Hollensbe:It seems like what you're saying, there's a lot of practical life lessons that many of us like may need to actually be reparented in.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Or even received some intentional parenting in that we might not have had in the past.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:And there are really important Gospel related issues.
Heath Hollensbe:That are connected to this that we need to learn to grow in as well.
Caesar Kalinowski:Absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's both and, and unless we learn to speak the gospel and, and create that, that reparented environment of grace that we were created to grow up in, and, and I'm convinced that that's what dad's family's like, right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Our perfect dad in heaven, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Then we won't even get to any of the other stuff as well.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so it's, this is critical, this idea of re-parenting folks in love and in grace.
Caesar Kalinowski:To actually create full on community.
Caesar Kalinowski:It really is.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's healthy and, and it's gonna reproduce itself and be attractive to others, you know, and, and it's, I don't think it's all that really weird to think this way.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like I can remember reading that, uh, like in say Bible times, right.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:When a Disciple was chosen to follow a rabbi.
Heath Hollensbe:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:That he would spend pretty much all of his waking hours with that rabbi, learning his ways and his point of view on everything as it came up.
Heath Hollensbe:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Even to the point, I remember really here, one teacher on this, even to the point of how he went to the bathroom, like the disciples will be there lined up behind the rabbi going, okay, really?
Caesar Kalinowski:Three shakes, no more, you know, or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't know.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't get gross, but you know.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or how many squares of toilet paper to you use or whatever, you know, that's, and so like, I'm not doing that with people, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:But the point is, is like, no.
Caesar Kalinowski:See, this used to be what discipleship was, is like moving people from unbelief to belief, a new worldview.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's, I, I look at Jesus' life and I see that he came, what does it say?
Caesar Kalinowski:He came preaching the kingdom of God.
Caesar Kalinowski:He was treating people like family was showing 'em like, no, no, no, no.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's the way Rome works.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's the way of the world.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's that whole do equals be distortion.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's not how it is with dad.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's not how our father in heaven is.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh man.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's, and that's, that's why I think this is so important and we get to do the job of being spiritual parents who take upon ourselves grace based reparenting of people.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:You know, as you're talking there, it makes me think that there are probably, I.
Heath Hollensbe:A million areas in my own life with my own kids that I could even use to upgrade my parenting.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, me too.
Heath Hollensbe:And also being way more intentional with connecting the gospel to all of life.
Heath Hollensbe:I remember watching a video from Paul Trip a while back on parenting, and he said one of the best things a Christian parent can do is take the conversation to Jesus a thousand times a day.
Heath Hollensbe:Mm. So when the kid says like, oh, isn't, isn't, uh, I just love the rain.
Heath Hollensbe:I love playing in the rain.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:He connect it back to like, isn't it amazing that God made the rain to take care of us and that that's the source he uses and how it pulls from the saltwater and yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:He said, just take so many
Caesar Kalinowski:conversations back to I do what my grandkids already, and they're like two, two and a half.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, one and a half.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, I'm like, oh, this is, they're so stoked.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm like, let's just thank Jesus for this.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Thank you for this.
Caesar Kalinowski:This is so fun.
Caesar Kalinowski:And this is such good thing to eat.
Caesar Kalinowski:And look at ducks.
Caesar Kalinowski:Ducks are amazing.
Heath Hollensbe:That's right.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:But actually allowing that gospel.
Heath Hollensbe:Not just allowing, but letting it speak into and shape and inform way more of our lives and relationships than maybe even we've done in the
Caesar Kalinowski:past.
Caesar Kalinowski:No kidding.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, I want more of that too.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's not, you know, I, I appreciate your humility, brother, but that's all of us.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you know, I kind of, I kind of like ran past it real fast, but I, I wanna underscore connected to all of this is seeing our role as Disciple maker, as one of being a spiritual parent in another person's life.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I know I've talked to enough people, I was like, are you know that?
Caesar Kalinowski:And they just go, woo.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's different.
Caesar Kalinowski:So that both includes our own children.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like we're playing the role of spiritual parent too, not just physical parent.
Caesar Kalinowski:And those that God has brought into our lives to teach and walk with and teach how to walk in the ways of Jesus.
Caesar Kalinowski:So just like our own kids will not become mature, well-functioning adults if we don't parent them with gospel intentionality in all of life.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, it's the same with others in community too.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Let me ask you have, have you ever met a person that knew a lot.
Caesar Kalinowski:About the Bible and church history and all that kinda stuff, but was so awkward and offensive socially that they were not really a good witness for Jesus.
Caesar Kalinowski:And what life in the kingdom and God's all about.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:All the time.
Caesar Kalinowski:They need reparenting like crazy.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's not reparenting in their Bible knowledge.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:They probably need some gospel in all of life reparenting.
Caesar Kalinowski:But they're also just awkward and, and no one's, no one loves them enough to go, Hey man.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, you know, it'd be nice if you change your shirt once in a while, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, like, and let's talk about why, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because you told me you wanna be married.
Caesar Kalinowski:But like, bro, I don't know how many people would come, you know, women are gonna come with a chisel or you know, or like you still live like a boy.
Caesar Kalinowski:And women marry men.
Caesar Kalinowski:Time to grow.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the women come to me and go like, Hey, anybody you think I should be praying about, you know, for a spouse?
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm like, well, a man would be good 'cause you're a woman.
Heath Hollensbe:Yep.
Heath Hollensbe:And you look like I got with a friend right now who really wants to move.
Heath Hollensbe:He's got this girlfriend and she.
Heath Hollensbe:She just won't take that next step because she doesn't trust that he knows how to take care of budget.
Heath Hollensbe:He's irresponsible with money and, uh, she doesn't trust that he's gonna be able to take care of budget when that need comes.
Heath Hollensbe:Mm. That's an area that with him, it's like, dude, you gotta grow up in this area.
Heath Hollensbe:So he needs a little reparenting.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And and it's not his fault.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:None of this, you know, it's like, well, I wasn't taught that, and certainly not with the gospel in it.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so it takes.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Discipleship.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's holistic, really entails a lot of reparenting in love and patience.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:And repeating things over and over and then a little more patience.
Caesar Kalinowski:But isn't that just how God our father is with us?
Caesar Kalinowski:Absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:It really is.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, it really is.
Caesar Kalinowski:So there you go.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's my idea on how discipleship really is like reparenting people.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:And I think one thing I I'd like to say before we get to the big three is.
Heath Hollensbe:Is that this is not just for like Missional Community leaders.
Heath Hollensbe:This is a, this is a call for every single person like you.
Heath Hollensbe:As you're informed by the gospel, you actually get to speak that into other people.
Heath Hollensbe:Part of our privilege, this isn't, don't just say this, a senior bastar.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, that's right.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:This is for everybody.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Good word.
Heath Hollensbe:Alright, so let's get to the big three, which is the, uh, the free PDF download that we want to give you.
Heath Hollensbe:It's well put.
Heath Hollensbe:Beautiful.
Heath Hollensbe:Like it's laid out beautifully.
Heath Hollensbe:Oh, it's gorgeous.
Heath Hollensbe:And if you've got nothing else out of this show today, the three takeaways that we want you to have at a bare minimum and you get the free download by going to everyday Disciple dot com slash big three.
Heath Hollensbe:What are the big three for
Caesar Kalinowski:this week?
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, a little hard to boil it down.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:There's a lot in there, but, um, first one, God calls and empowers us to be spiritual parents to others, and so just like we needed human parents to guide and train us for life mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Though they weren't perfect.
Caesar Kalinowski:We also need parenting for life in God's family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Which we won't also do perfectly, so Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Just the pressure's off.
Caesar Kalinowski:Will you allow God to bring people into your life that need reparenting in light of the Gospel and are father's good household?
Heath Hollensbe:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and will you love and guide them for his glory rather than their opinion of yourself?
Caesar Kalinowski:That's a great question, ma'am.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So that's the first thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't miss that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Chew on that a little bit.
Caesar Kalinowski:Second thing, uh, teaching, modeling and sharing the love of God and his grace with others is our highest calling.
Caesar Kalinowski:It really is.
Caesar Kalinowski:Mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:So just hanging out in community and being seen as nice.
Caesar Kalinowski:Mm. Teaching, modeling, sharing all this stuff in Christ.
Caesar Kalinowski:We have been given a new identity and we share in his authority here on Earth and we've inherited great privilege as sons and daughters of this king.
Caesar Kalinowski:So walking in light of all this and teaching younger siblings younger, both in age and maturity, sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:How the gospel speaks into and transforms all of life is a privilege and it's part of Jesus's great commission or commission to all of us.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's great.
Caesar Kalinowski:Alright, number three, ma'am.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Third one.
Caesar Kalinowski:Who specifically, so this is another question.
Caesar Kalinowski:Who specifically has God placed in your life that needs reparenting in the kingdom and family of God?
Caesar Kalinowski:In a holistic way.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:And this may seem new or even a little weird to you at first, but I wanna encourage you to start bracing your re-parenting role in the lives of those that you're discipling as you help them experience the full, the fullness, the full inheritance in life that Jesus came to give us.
Caesar Kalinowski:So just like in human parenting, you'll need to trust the spirit and you'll get better and better at this as you go along.
Caesar Kalinowski:God's with you.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right.
Caesar Kalinowski:I rely on the spirit through all this, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:You have to.
Caesar Kalinowski:You
Heath Hollensbe:have
Caesar Kalinowski:to.
Caesar Kalinowski:Just like human
Heath Hollensbe:parenting.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Thanks for joining us today.
Heath Hollensbe:For more information on this show and to get loads of free discipleship resources, visit everyday Disciple dot com and remember, you really can live with a spiritual freedom and relational peace that Jesus promised every day.