Creating a Multi-Generational Family Team
For many in Western civilization, our idea of “family” seems like a failed experiment. We’ve been sold the line that the family exists primarily as a springboard for the individual. But what if our families functioned more like a team–a team on a mission?
In this episode of the Everyday Disciple Podcast, Caesar talks with Jeremy Pryor, who has created a multi-generational household that lives together on mission making disciples of Jesus. Their story is powerful!
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- Why so many families fail to live as a team and do life and mission together.
- The simple, yet powerful rhythms that Jeremy’s family live in.
- The role that “intentionality” plays in establishing new family rhythms.
- Ideas to help you start to create a family team right where you’re at.
From this episode:
“There’s this other bigger story about what God’s doing with his bride and the church, which is nested inside an even bigger story. Which is how God desires to recapture all of humanity. It goes from Genesis 1 all the way to the end of Revelation. And so you can fixate on smaller stories, and sometimes, we live our lives kind of from the center out, but man, you need to be careful that you [and your family] don’t become part of a smaller story. You have to see the bigger picture.”
Each week the Big 3 will give you immediate action steps to get you started.
Download today’s BIG 3 right now. Read and think over them again later. You might even want to share them with others…
Thanks for Listening!
Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Join us on Facebook and take part in the discussion!
If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of this page or right below.
Also, please subscribe and leave an honest review for The Everyday Disciple Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.
Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Free Download of the Big 3 For Episode #326
1KH (One Thousand Homes) in Cincinnati
Coaching with Caesar and Tina in discipleship and missional living.
Free Discipleship and Missional Resources
Transcript
The opposite of the rhythm often is just keeping obligations.
Speaker:And so people like you need to do evangelism, you need to do service projects, you need to be, have a date night.
Speaker:You need to have more time with your kids.
Speaker:Like you start to get you, you get kind of these "shoulds", right.
Speaker:That should should piled on you.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And you don't like nobody has helping you, like Jesus said about the Pharisees.
Speaker:You know, you heap obligations on people, but you don't live a lift, a finger to help.
Speaker:And what that means is you have to have a framework that actually balances because there's, these are real trade-offs.
Speaker:I mean, it's hard to decide how to spend your time.
Speaker:So that's where I really like to train people in frameworks, that balance, and that honor the fact, these are hard trade offs, but you can do, you can design your ideal week and that doesn't just include.
Speaker:Having to do things that are challenging, but it also includes all the stuff that is life given.
Speaker:It needs to be both, you know, full of all of the things that God has for us and incredibly life-giving.
Speaker:So at the beginning of the next week, you have more energy than you did the week before.
Speaker:Welcome to the Everyday Disciple Podcast where you learn how to live with.
Speaker:Greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits into every area of life.
Speaker:In other words, discipleship as a lifestyle, this is the stuff your parents, pastors and seminary.
Speaker:Professors probably forgot to tell you.
Speaker:And now here's your host.
Speaker:Caesar Kalinowski Hey, here we go again.
Speaker:Are you ready?
Speaker:Are you ready for another episode of the Everyday Disciple Podcast, we're going to, we're going to dive deep into some cool Missional stuff.
Speaker:I got a crazy, amazing guest with you today.
Speaker:I was a little fluttery.
Speaker:Couldn't even wait to have him on tell you more about that in a minute.
Speaker:Uh, you know what dawned on me this week, we had our four year anniversary of the Podcast, like a couple months ago, at least.
Speaker:And I forgot to even tell you that I can't even believe it's been four years of doing the Podcast.
Speaker:With no breaks every Monday for over four years.
Speaker:And you know, we started with the Podcast, used to be called the life school Podcast.
Speaker:And I did it with my friend and brother Heath Hollensbee.
Speaker:You still hear him at the beginning and the end and all that.
Speaker:And we're still pals and all that, but, but here we are four years into it.
Speaker:And now we're called the Everyday Disciple Podcast and onward and upward.
Speaker:We go mazing.
Speaker:And what makes us so great is you that we know that you're listening and that you're hopefully sharing the podcast out to other people when you hear something meaningful.
Speaker:I hope you do.
Speaker:I hope that's like a natural response.
Speaker:You're like, Oh, that was so good.
Speaker:God's put somebody on your mind.
Speaker:Take the two seconds.
Speaker:It takes to share that episode out.
Speaker:Either a link to that episode, to our page or the Facebook group, or just.
Speaker:text somebody, Hey, this episode of this was great.
Speaker:I think you're going to love it or whatever.
Speaker:We really appreciate it.
Speaker:That's how we grow.
Speaker:That's how we all pay it forward.
Speaker:Don't forget to join us on the Facebook group over there in Facebook land.
Speaker:If you haven't done that yet, we're easy to find Everyday Disciple Podcast, or you can just go to Everyday Disciple dot com forward slash Facebook, and it'll take you right in hope.
Speaker:You'll do that.
Speaker:Love to hear from you.
Speaker:Love to talk about the episodes.
Speaker:Okay, let me tell you about today's guest.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:I'm stoked.
Speaker:This is my friend.
Speaker:I think I can call him that now.
Speaker:We've we're actually becoming friends.
Speaker:His name's Jeremy Pryor and Jeremy and his wife April, along with their five kids.
Speaker:They live in a multi-generational household.
Speaker:On mission together, along with Jeremy's parents, April's mom has lived with them and they live in Fort Thomas, Kentucky, which is just a few miles outside of Cincinnati, Ohio, and Jeremy, and his wife like Tina and I are serial entrepreneurs and have been involved in ministry from like, you know, early, early days.
Speaker:But it's morphed into really their family on mission and moving towards that, they have founded and led several businesses and nonprofits together.
Speaker:Including a family quilt shop that the whole family runs in a bunch of tech companies that are huge.
Speaker:And I can't even barely understand what they do.
Speaker:And they have created family teams, which they, they develop training content for families and all the stuff we're going to talk about today.
Speaker:Really cool.
Speaker:They've started a network of Cincinnati disciple-making households with the goal of seeing a thousand households.
Speaker:In and around Cincinnati live as kingdom outposts, it's called one K H.
Speaker:It's amazing for fun.
Speaker:The priors, they study Hebrew like they're nerds.
Speaker:I'm kidding.
Speaker:And they actually take groups to Israel.
Speaker:Uh, you're going to find out that's where actually they met as a couple, uh, and they love Tolken, but you've heard me talk about our family as team K for years now, and the lifestyle that Tina and I have intentionally built around being.
Speaker:A family team and a family on mission.
Speaker:Well, Jeremy and April have been doing the same thing as well for 15 years or more.
Speaker:And even though I originally knew of Jeremy through some very similar work on teaching the Bible through story and narrative, it wasn't until they recently joined Tina and I.
Speaker:And one of our coaching cohorts along with seven other couples in there.
Speaker:1KH Cincinnati city network there that we really got to know them.
Speaker:And I had no idea the depth of their journey and a lot more amazing similarities in how we have been led to form our families and why, you know, we call ourselves team K in there.
Speaker:Team prior and all this anyway, and the results that we've experienced.
Speaker:And so I'm really excited for you to hear a little bit of their story.
Speaker:It's just Jeremy on today.
Speaker:April is not on with us, but, to hear a little bit of their story and how their family has really been come a team and give you some advice on how you might also be able to get started more intentionally towards living that life as well.
Speaker:Give this a listen, I'll come back at the end and I'll wrap things up.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Well, I am excited to have this conversation with you, man.
Speaker:It has been too long that we've had these parallel paths yet different, but we're finding out we have more and more commonalities in our sort of family life and ministry trajectories.
Speaker:And so I'm just going to start having you on the show every other week or something.
Speaker:No, I know.
Speaker:You're like, ah, I don't have time for that anyway.
Speaker:Let's start with the basics about you and April.
Speaker:Like just a little bit, how long you've been married and like what your marriage and family life looked like as you started.
Speaker:I'm guessing the stuff we're about to talk about in, in this richness of family life is probably not, uh, exactly how it started off.
Speaker:So like, what are some of the basics you guys and what your marriage and early child rearing life look like?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So this is exciting Caesar.
Speaker:Thanks for having me on.
Speaker:So I, yeah, we've, we've been married for about 22 years and have five kids.
Speaker:Uh, and we met actually in Jerusalem, uh, which was a big part of our story and trying to how God led us into thinking about family differently.
Speaker:And ever since then, yeah.
Speaker:We've been trying to figure out what it looks like.
Speaker:Is that like class you were at a class or something?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:We were both doing a semester abroad.
Speaker:Yeah, graduate school and we're there to study Hebrew and try to figure out some things.
Speaker:I was like kind of obsessed at the time with the old Testament, trying to understand that stuff.
Speaker:And yeah, we met and yeah, it was awesome.
Speaker:God kind of used that in our life 22 years.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So then, uh, get married.
Speaker:I'm guessing within X amount of time, you start having babies and what's, what's original.
Speaker:What's.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:What's the original.
Speaker:What's the original family life look like for you guys.
Speaker:Cause I know you're also, here's another parallel in our life.
Speaker:You're a serial entrepreneur as am I and Tina.
Speaker:So, you know, we're always in startup mode of some form of something, you know, trying an idea out or scaling something or whatever.
Speaker:What did that early life look like for you and the kids?
Speaker:Cause you have five now, right?
Speaker:He said, yeah, we do.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Early marriage and little kids look like.
Speaker:I was a youth pastor when we first got married.
Speaker:And then, uh, about two years into that decided to do graduate school, moved out to Boston.
Speaker:We had just Kelsey and then we had Jackson, so we had two little kids and I really began, I was kinda thinking I was sort of fleeing from traditional church.
Speaker:And, uh, didn't think that I was going to really figure out how to fit in that, in that form, but love the church and just like wanting to figure out there was some, there's a lot of tension for me in that.
Speaker:and I started to.
Speaker:Want to really experiment with, you know, things that were just a lot more relational kind of models of church, but it was like, who's going to pay you for that.
Speaker:So God really rescued us and gave us an idea for a business.
Speaker:We started to, uh, the world's largest Lord of the rings collectibles online store back in 2001 before the movies and kind of rode that wave.
Speaker:And it was such a blessing because we made so many mistakes trying to figure out going from.
Speaker:You know, full-time ministry to full-time entrepreneur life, uh, and, uh, with two kids.
Speaker:And then we had three more.
Speaker:And then we started multiple businesses after that.
Speaker:So we've been primarily entrepreneurs, starting companies, but every time we had success in a business, we would sort of parlay that extra time into ministry.
Speaker:That was kind of our, you know, what we felt like was kind of the right fit for us.
Speaker:So I probably been, you know, spending 10, 20, 30 hours a week.
Speaker:Doing ministry for most of the last 20 years, but not really paid ministry, just trying to figure stuff out.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And that's exactly how it's been for Tina and I, as we had businesses grow and become more and more successful instead of just trying to chase every possible drop of profit out of whatever we would buy margin back.
Speaker:Yeah, for ministry, for additional family stuff for overseas, I did it quite a bit of overseas, you know, ministry and stuff that changed our lives forever.
Speaker:And I was able to take my family on, on some of that stuff.
Speaker:Some of it was like war zones and things didn't take them there, but yeah, same way, same way.
Speaker:what was the, uh, sort of the thrust of your early ministry when the kids were younger, but you weren't being vocationally paid for it anymore?
Speaker:Just trying to figure out like what, like I had a really profound experience in a small group that felt like family, like, it felt like so relationally rich.
Speaker:And it was so the opposite of what I had experienced in a lot of larger church environments.
Speaker:And I kind of had this you know, desire that if this is the church, if we're supposed to be.
Speaker:Really connected at a heart level, then I'm all in if you know.
Speaker:And so that, that became the one another's really getting to be on mission , with like a small group of, of believers, uh, that really resonated deeply with me.
Speaker:And so I wanted to understand how.
Speaker:That would play out.
Speaker:Is that, is that okay?
Speaker:Is that in balance?, can you call that church or is that something else?
Speaker:And so that was, that's kinda like the first five or 10 years.
Speaker:We're just trying to figure out, like, how do you make disciples?
Speaker:How do you be on a mission and how do you do this in a, in a very tight sort of life-on-life kind of way.
Speaker:And we talk about all the time and this isn't my original quote, but we talk about a lot of people involved in like professional ministry or vocational ministry.
Speaker:They sort of have their family.
Speaker:And then over here they have their ministry, right?
Speaker:And then some people kind of have a family that has a ministry and it's like family plus a mission.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:But then you get some people that have a family on mission.
Speaker:Like this is sort of our family and how we roll good, bad or indifferent.
Speaker:We're doing this together, you know, and sure everybody has their own life and their own people in their lives and all that.
Speaker:But the nucleus, the core of this whole thing is us.
Speaker:And that's what people are actually wanting to join and get involved in.
Speaker:That's been a very similar journey for you guys.
Speaker:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker:I think for us, and it was like when I was, when I was growing up and when I, even, when I was in my early twenties, when I first met April, I didn't really understand why people wanted to even have kids.
Speaker:Like that was kind of a little bit of a mystery to me.
Speaker:I grew up in the Seattle area, so there was just not a lot of good modeling in a culture.
Speaker:We saw some in the church and in my family was, you know, was together.
Speaker:But for the most part, uh, just saw divorce was, you know, Was was the norm with all my friends.
Speaker:And, and so it just felt like I'd experiment that had gone bad.
Speaker:And when we were in Israel, we had encountered so many Jewish families that had these multi-generational roots.
Speaker:And I was like, where did they get this idea?
Speaker:Like, I'd never even seen this, really this, this idea.
Speaker:And when I asked them, they said, well, came from the Bible.
Speaker:And I'm like, well, where, what part of the Bible?
Speaker:They say Abraham and I have really so, cause I'd studied Abraham, but I'd never thought about.
Speaker:The fact that all of that stuff he said about his descendants was something that is true about family and how God sees me.
Speaker:I mean, I just thought that was a primitive part of their culture.
Speaker:And when I began to think about family as something that we could build multi-generationally together as a team, it, every, like it was a massive paradigm shift.
Speaker:And then yeah, two from there, it became, it went from being, you know, a pretty low priority in my life to what do you just described?
Speaker:Like, Oh, this is not.
Speaker:One of many things I have to manage.
Speaker:This is the vehicle through which I do everything through, which I do mission through, which I do business through, which, you know, that that was a huge realization.
Speaker:And there are families all over the world who think that way, but they don't tend to be Western families, especially you know, in the cultures that I grew up in.
Speaker:And I want to suggest, I think I'm going to guess you're going to probably agree with me here.
Speaker:I think it was God's original design for the family.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:I really do.
Speaker:And we take that all the way back to like, that's a Gospel issue that you think about.
Speaker:We, we, we are creating the image of a God that exists in Community, and you've got this somehow mysterious three in one submission for God's glory and you know, all togetherness and then God gives us.
Speaker:A oneness of flesh with our spouse.
Speaker:And then these image bears that ultimately bear his image and how we live together in a family.
Speaker:And our marriages to me are the strongest image of who God is and what he's like.
Speaker:And ultimately the Gospel, like laying your life down for others, preferring others, shouldering the weight of.
Speaker:People sin and bad choices for each other.
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:Because I love them to the point of death.
Speaker:I would give my life for my kids.
Speaker:I know you would too, like no hesitation.
Speaker:It wouldn't be like, I, you know, I got a lot going on, you know, it would snap.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And so I think this has God's biblical design and the, and the breaking of it and the fracturing of it.
Speaker:It's, it's not even like a, uh, like an East versus West cultural thing.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:It's a losing of that true understanding of who God's created us to be in his image for his glory and why we even have a spouse and kids, those kids aren't, they're not created in my image.
Speaker:I mean, they look a little like me on the outside.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:But they're created in his image ultimately, as we were.
Speaker:For his glory, not mine, not to make me look like super dad or look how smart they are.
Speaker:Look at, man.
Speaker:My son's making way more money than your, you know, it's like, no, that's not the point.
Speaker:And once that dime dropped for us, I know it changed a lot.
Speaker:Well, you know, I know that, that what I didn't realize was that, and , you believe like, like me, that story matters and that even when people hear this, they don't realize that there's actually a more powerful story that they're probably believing.
Speaker:And that is the typical Western family.
Speaker:If you're a Christian or not, you think that family is a springboard for individual success, that's what you think it is.
Speaker:That's the story you believe.
Speaker:And when you think about the life of your family, that's the story that you're telling yourself.
Speaker:That's what story that's, we're immersed in.
Speaker:And that's a very different story than a, than a team springboard, individual success and a multi-generational team on mission.
Speaker:Those are two totally different stories.
Speaker:And like you said, Genesis one.
Speaker:Uh, when God created the first family, you see exactly how he defined it.
Speaker:He told them be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it and rule.
Speaker:So he's basically saying that you are, you are a team.
Speaker:You can only do this together.
Speaker:It's multi-generational you can't do.
Speaker:You can't do this mission in one generation , and you're to rule, which means it's the family.
Speaker:That th this, that group that does the work.
Speaker:It's not, this is not the non-profit of the corporation.
Speaker:It's not the government.
Speaker:It's, there's a, there's a, not that those things aren't important, but that the basic, uh, unit, the basic team through which you live life and everyone gets to live life is through the family.
Speaker:And so , that was God's original design.
Speaker:And then that gets of course translated into.
Speaker:our life today as the church.
Speaker:and we're getting to extend that to, to all of God's children, it starts with having that belief that the God actually designed this to be a team.
Speaker:And that's a key thing there, and we're getting to extend that outward to others, to get the lost children back home.
Speaker:You know, we get a lot of pushback, Jeremy, and we've even had some of these conversations in coaching, you know, where it's like, I want to, I want to really treat everyone like family.
Speaker:And it's like, then we proof texts a couple of verses say, yeah, but there's.
Speaker:Only those people, you know, who've said the magic prayer, children of God or something.
Speaker:And I was like, well, no, that's not actually the whole picture.
Speaker:There's a bigger story arc here.
Speaker:And so we've kind of adopted the languages is like, They're all God's offspring.
Speaker:They're all his image bearers out there.
Speaker:And some kids are far from God.
Speaker:They're far from dad.
Speaker:They don't know him.
Speaker:They don't understand his heart.
Speaker:They don't know the love that he has and the sacrifice that our brother Jesus made and all those things.
Speaker:So I want to treat them like family and invite them to a place.
Speaker:It.
Speaker:Ultimately dad's table and hopefully redeeming that relationship.
Speaker:I think that's how God does it.
Speaker:It's not some mystical.
Speaker:Like I was walking down the road hate and everybody in all of a sudden, one day I picked up a quarter off the floor and boom, I was a senior pastor at a, you know, churches.
Speaker:It's like it's through others, inviting them to walk in the ways and taste and see, no, no, this is God's designed for humans, for family.
Speaker:And it can be this way, even if you've never experienced it, which is sad, but true.
Speaker:W well, a lot of people don't understand is that we kind of.
Speaker:Yeah, , we are living inside of a nested story, kind of like those Russian nesting dolls, there's our family, but our family is nested inside this, you know, this, this other bigger story about what God's doing with his bride and the church, which is nested inside this bigger story, which is how God desires to really recapture all of.
Speaker:Humanity goes from Genesis one all the way to the end of revelation.
Speaker:And so you can fixate on smaller stories and sometimes, you know, we live our lives kind of from the center out, but man, you need to be careful that you don't become only that smaller story that you have to see the bigger picture.
Speaker:Well, and that that's, that's the context that we actually live in.
Speaker:And some, some people call that awareness.
Speaker:Some people call that higher consciousness, you know, and it starts sounding Weegee and all this, but that's the reality if you live so myopically focused, just reactively dealing with this issue, this problem, this thing, this little small little goal, and now you never understand the larger.
Speaker:Picture the larger story, the larger aspect of the nesting doll.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:What a small little life you'll live when you were created for so much more.
Speaker:Tell me a little bit about your life now.
Speaker:Your kids give us their ages again, real fast.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So Kelsey is 21.
Speaker:Jackson's 20.
Speaker:Sidney is 16.
Speaker:Alyssa is 14 and the Cairo is 12.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So they're kind of all along the, a little bit older kids, some of them starting to move out or go to college age and all that.
Speaker:What's the rhythms of team prior right now.
Speaker:What's, what's the rhythms of your family life.
Speaker:You guys live pretty uniquely in a sense of, you know, because of your businesses and, and stewardship of things.
Speaker:You've been able to create a bit of an alternative thing, you know, like, but tell us a little bit of how you live, where you live.
Speaker:You don't have to give us our address or anything like that, but you know, the way you live is multi-generational and quite, uh, an oikos existence.
Speaker:So don't be shy.
Speaker:You're boasting what the Lord has done and called us and created us to do.
Speaker:But it's a beautiful thing.
Speaker:So tell us a little bit about that.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So, yeah.
Speaker:Can you just use the word oikos?
Speaker:That just means household.
Speaker:And so when I described a multi-generational team on mission, that's not just a nuclear family.
Speaker:That's, that's a larger family unit, especially as your kids get older.
Speaker:And so like we live multi-generationally, my parents live with us.
Speaker:My mother-in-law was living with us.
Speaker:And our kids, are getting older now becoming adults kind of moving in and out of the home.
Speaker:And so our typical week, it's a big, like the way that we try to figure how to do ministry, because there's so much to, to manage if you're going to try to be a household.
Speaker:And when I say that, I mean that the household becomes the.
Speaker:Hub through which you do economic activity through which you do spiritual life.
Speaker:So much of our life happens in and through the household.
Speaker:And in order to really manage that you need a framework for that.
Speaker:And our favorite framework is the seven day rhythm.
Speaker:we kind of craft a seven day rhythm.
Speaker:we work from rest and so our week begins, you know, we just, we have a Sabbath day on, uh, on Saturday.
Speaker:We have in, we, we get to enjoy, uh, on Friday night we do a big Sabbath dinner, and then Saturday we do our, uh, our day of rest.
Speaker:And then April, I get our date night on Saturday night.
Speaker:Our, my dad comes in and does game night with the kids.
Speaker:And so Sunday we call our soft launch into the work week.
Speaker:That's where we do our family meeting.
Speaker:And so like from 11 to 12, we talk about what's going on this week.
Speaker:What kind of business stuff we're going to do?
Speaker:What kind of spiritual stuff we're going to do?
Speaker:Uh, what's everybody up to, what's your highs and lows.
Speaker:And then Sunday, we, we do our, our church gatherings, uh, in the evening.
Speaker:We do one-on-ones with the, with the kids and they do with each other as well.
Speaker:And then we launch into the week pretty hard on Monday.
Speaker:We got like multiple businesses.
Speaker:Uh, my son does real estate with us, my daughter, and then April, my wife and then her mom, my mother-in-law I'll run a sewing studio at the top of our street.
Speaker:And so that's kind of like 50%.
Speaker:Like brick and mortar store, 50% e-commerce business.
Speaker:And so they've got a big live show that they're prepped for every Wednesday.
Speaker:So Monday we do, every Wednesday they do a live show, like at the shop.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's and that's a huge, it's been really, really helpful.
Speaker:Uh, Through COVID there are businesses tripled because of that.
Speaker:Which was shocking because brick and mortar retail doesn't do super well.
Speaker:When everything is, are they also streaming that live show that you guys it's streamed live on Facebook?
Speaker:Listen, like I like, I'm not shy.
Speaker:What's the name of that people are going to go, like, I want to see this.
Speaker:Yeah, it's called just so it's in Fort Thomas, Kentucky.
Speaker:So if you're into quilting or sewing or fabric or whatever, you'll see.
Speaker:My wife and my daughter.
Speaker:Well, let me tell you a little something about me that you probably don't know.
Speaker:I'm super, super into . I was getting excited.
Speaker:Yeah, no.
Speaker:Oh, I saw some, my mom would of been all over it.
Speaker:I mean, she's, she has sewn, quilted crafted, crocheted, you know, everything for, we have like, my mom has since gone to heaven, you know, but we, our house is full of stuff she made and I know it's not just us.
Speaker:It's like.
Speaker:All kinds of like extended family.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Well, that's a big reason why April did it was to be a bridge for generations.
Speaker:You know, she, her mom was super into it.
Speaker:Kelsey was getting really into it.
Speaker:And so to create that continuity for them, and then also it's happening for other families that, that felt like a really resonate with our families calling to do a, do a little endeavor like that.
Speaker:So that's, that's a big part of what we do.
Speaker:Yeah, we do a, like a little, we do a Bible study with, with the family on Monday, went with our Community.
Speaker:That's kind of a, we all read the same passages.
Speaker:Define that when you say, and with our community, what's that mean?
Speaker:So, yeah, so our community is those who we gather with on a regular basis and we kind of really try to function as a body, those one another's uh, with each other.
Speaker:And so they come to our.
Speaker:to that mid act, we call it.
Speaker:So it's like, uh, about an hour and a half where we just kind of look at the passages we've been reading together and just having discussions about what this means for our lives.
Speaker:And Tuesday, what some people call, I'm sorry to interrupt you there, brother, with some people call that a Missional Community or is it for sure?
Speaker:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Yeah, it, it goes in and through our household and and so.
Speaker:So some of the aspects that are Missional will be, will come out of the different households that are a part of our, and a lot of stuff we do together.
Speaker:So we try to do an open table on Thursday night.
Speaker:And so that's where people can bring their non-believing friends and then we can get to know each other.
Speaker:Also, you know, we, we try to pull off like, you know, little events.
Speaker:I was telling you about my, my whiskey and wisdom.
Speaker:My favorite thing, we talked philosophy and.
Speaker:Version of cigars theology.
Speaker:That's right now it's like different smarter guys, whiskey and wisdom.
Speaker:We just watch YouTube videos about philosophy, and then we get, you know, we think we know we're talking about, but it's a good, good way to have a conversation.
Speaker:Is that what you do?
Speaker:You watch a video and then tear it apart?
Speaker:Yeah, we just, well, I just send out like, Hey guys, watch a bunch of videos on this philosopher.
Speaker:Now, if you haven't read their stuff, a lot of times we just can't understand half the stuff they're a writ they wrote, but there's incredible video.
Speaker:So it makes it real easy to, for anybody to engage in that conversation.
Speaker:What else is super creatively like great about that is most people would hear that and go, Oh, I should start doing something like that.
Speaker:How would I ever have the time to prepare it?
Speaker:You're like, just send out YouTube videos, watch this stuff.
Speaker:We'll talk about it, you know?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And I'm like, that's brilliant.
Speaker:The only prep is I got to just pick a few videos and that's something you like.
Speaker:And so it's not like, Oh my gosh, I don't know any, like, I couldn't pick those, but there's other things I could, you know, like I know like I've done similar things where you get together and you discuss a movie and you try to see like the movements creation, fall redemption restoration through it, or something like that.
Speaker:Or like where's the light or you just look through the hero's journey and see, can we map that out?
Speaker:And then.
Speaker:You're just kind of discussing life connected to that movie and the thing behind thing, that'd be nice.
Speaker:I love movies.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And a lot of people do.
Speaker:I love, I have to just point that out.
Speaker:That's such a cool creative way.
Speaker:I didn't know you were doing that.
Speaker:I thought you were like, you're prepping up all this brainiac stuff around this philosopher and all right, man.
Speaker:Cool.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So, so I hope folks are hearing this, that there's, there's this nucleus sort of gravitational center of the family and it's extended and it's a little uh multi-generational and then there's also aspects of it though, that then have sort of the believing ring of relationships that are a part of that.
Speaker:Oikos that extension of the family, but then you've also made room and intentionalized this open table.
Speaker:So that those, all those folks can say, you know, we've got a friend of ours, keeps hearing about all of this, and this is a place that we would say is high invitation and low challenge.
Speaker:They can come and we're not trying to talk them into signing up for anything or joining some deep Bible study thing.
Speaker:They're not ready for.
Speaker:They, we want him to see and taste that this family that lives in the kingdom, this is a beautiful, wonderful place.
Speaker:And people to be with more people, more than a place.
Speaker:Yeah, it's awesome.
Speaker:I love it now.
Speaker:Intentionality is a big thing then obviously for you in April, and I know it just from getting to know you guys through our coaching and all, but, uh, intentionality is one of those things that we all long for, but it's like the, you know, the we'll get round to it thing.
Speaker:Mary used to be able to go like, right.
Speaker:You know, uh, vacation places.
Speaker:They always had the little round to it, slug, you know, whatever.
Speaker:and I know the people you train and help also start to create family life.
Speaker:That's similar to what you're describing here.
Speaker:Intentionality, it's not going to accidentally happen.
Speaker:Let's talk about intentionality when it comes to leading our families toward health and wholeness.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It's huge.
Speaker:Well, that's where I feel like it's important to, first of all, have a vision of family that makes sense of why you'd be intentional.
Speaker:I think for a lot of us.
Speaker:Mothers and fathers, they just, if your vision for the family is a nest, that's going to self-destruct.
Speaker:As soon as the kids get older, that's maybe a little bit harder to build something.
Speaker:That that to really pour a lot of intentionality on it.
Speaker:But if you're see your family as a family line, in other words, you, you have, you're stewarding from generations previous.
Speaker:You're stewarding it for a short period and they're going to pass that on.
Speaker:Now it makes a lot of sense that you would invest a lot in his family.
Speaker:And, and that, for me, that, that was really.
Speaker:The gut, what God gave me the energy to get excited about, man, I, I get to steward this family for a short period of time and I want to, you know, I want to, I want to really make sure that, you know, my ceiling is their floor.
Speaker:And that was a vision that I could get excited about.
Speaker:And so I, that, that was one element.
Speaker:And then from there, it becomes about for us really practical rhythms, that that was that's been the most.
Speaker:And figure out how do you balance all of the activities of a household?
Speaker:And that's, that's a, it is a puzzle, but it's not an unsolvable puzzle, but you need a framework that will that'll make it accessible so that you don't get overwhelmed.
Speaker:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker:That's another one of our overlaps.
Speaker:Like, even though we didn't know it, but like, cause we're big on rhythms, you know, I don't want to have to recreate this.
Speaker:I want, I want, I want a simple, reproducible framework that we kind of all seed into and we're all kind of living into already, but we're just going to bring a little intentionality now jointly to this , and, and the thing is, is this stuff can be hard at first or seem a little bit weird at first, but the thing of the point of a rhythm, and then the beauty of rhythms is they just become easier.
Speaker:And easier.
Speaker:And pretty soon you realize it's lifestyle, I'm not, yeah.
Speaker:We're not that consciously having to think about family dinner night.
Speaker:We had, we had a family dinner night last night.
Speaker:Not that many people made it this week.
Speaker:It was just stuff was going on or some people out of town.
Speaker:My son-in-law is, he's a firefighter.
Speaker:He was working in extra shifts.
Speaker:So not everybody made it, but we have a little bit.
Speaker:Pickup game tonight and we're doing or doing a team K pizza night, you know, over at my daughter's place.
Speaker:It's like, all right, great.
Speaker:You know, it's just the way it happened.
Speaker:Not because, Oh my gosh, we had to clear the decks and compare 16 calendars.
Speaker:And all this was like, because the rhythm of our family is to make sure we see each other and have that meaningful family dinner time since it was a little fractured.
Speaker:Well, we just fixed it.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And I already know there's going to be some not.
Speaker:team K folks at it.
Speaker:I already know that cause we were talking about it and cause, cause our kids live like we do.
Speaker:So guess what?
Speaker:They got a broken family live on the right now some folks that need a little help.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:I'm sure you guys have had that throughout your whole thing.
Speaker:You know, marriage life is as well.
Speaker:We tend to have.
Speaker:The opposite , of the rhythm often is just heaping obligations.
Speaker:And so people like you need to do evangelism, you need to do service projects, you need to be, have a date night.
Speaker:You didn't have more time with your kids.
Speaker:You like, you start to get you, you get kind of these shoulds, right.
Speaker:That piled on you.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And you don't like nobody has helping you, like Jesus said about the Pharisees, you know, you heap obligations on people, but you don't live a lift, a finger to help.
Speaker:And what that means is you have to have a framework that actually balances because there's, these are real trade-offs.
Speaker:I mean, it's hard to decide.
Speaker:How to spend your time.
Speaker:And we, so, so that's where I really like to train people in frameworks that balance, and that honor the fact, these are hard trade-offs, but you can do, you can design your ideal week and that doesn't just include having to do things that are challenging, but it also includes all the stuff that is life giving and that kind of balance can bring until you love your week.
Speaker:You need to keep kind of tweaking and working on it.
Speaker:It needs to be both, you know, full of all of the things that God has for us.
Speaker:And some of those things can require some work and some challenge and incredibly life-giving so that at the end of every week, You have at the beginning of the next week, you have more energy than you did the week before.
Speaker:And I know there are seasons where we're young families, where man, that sounds like a impossible dream, but you know, that's what, when you said part of this is that your rhythms allow you to focus on the things that repeat.
Speaker:And when you focus on things that repeat you, they do get easier.
Speaker:You start cracking codes and you start holding onto lessons.
Speaker:And so instead of having to reinvent the wheel constantly, you actually start to feel the incredible traction that your family can get.
Speaker:And I would say for us, living into a rhythmic life now for over 15 years, you know, we're just at a different place.
Speaker:Like there's a level of productivity and peace that we could never have seen 10 years ago.
Speaker:Uh, but you have to start from wherever you're at and begin to like.
Speaker:Add elements to your rhythm, one at a time, and be willing to upgrade those things until they work really well for your family.
Speaker:And, and when you start to discover there's something you're missing, you know, its kind of simple what to do.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Where's this going to fit in our week is that, you know, as a sustainable and then you can and you start tweaking it.
Speaker:And until that starts to work in fit.
Speaker:And I, I can't really underscore that enough, that like, what you're saying here is these rhythms produce a week that you love and brings you energy, which then gives you the energy to include more people.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And be outward, have that outward focus like, well, who else might God have for this?
Speaker:And when people first hear this, and like you just mentioned with little kids, perhaps it sounds like, Oh, that just sounds like work to me.
Speaker:And I'm like, but here's the thing.
Speaker:And this is like lately, God's really been tapping my heart about this living reactively, you know, or you just react, react, react, react, everything's a problem to solve.
Speaker:And then you go to bed tired, and then you do that all week and then all month.
Speaker:And then pretty soon your kids are grown.
Speaker:What you've done instead of proactively, you know, intentionally living your life like these, this is what these are the rhythms we're going to have.
Speaker:And we're going to protect some of this and we're going to build in.
Speaker:Others instead of accidentally, never get to that.
Speaker:And that is freedom.
Speaker:That's freedom because when we only live reactively, like, Oh, the boss said this, and then this happened here and then up this broke and then this person was upset.
Speaker:And so all we're doing is reacting.
Speaker:What we're doing is we're kind of giving control of our lives to a zillion, other people.
Speaker:Hmm.
Speaker:And then, yeah, that's why I feel out of control.
Speaker:And as soon as you start to intentionalize within that larger framework of understanding who God has created us to be in, who we get to be and how we get to live, then you start to intentionalize that knowing God's given us that authority, that privilege that freedom, not only does it get easier and richer, but we actually, now we take back the choice that God's give us, right.
Speaker:God's given us choice instead of just reacting like that, and then being upset and blaming everybody else for everything.
Speaker:Oh, my gosh, we're talking a whole different way of understanding of life here.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It's so big.
Speaker:Do you think this is possible for most families?
Speaker:I, I think if people are listening to this going, man, that's pretty alternative.
Speaker:And we've been listening to you and Tina talk about team K for years.
Speaker:But I think it's one of those things where they would love to have it and enjoy it.
Speaker:Do you think it's possible for others to achieve.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Well, I think, I think that you have to be aware that everything in Western civilization that is designed for, you know, is designed around individuals.
Speaker:And this is what makes it hard.
Speaker:It's not that that having a family be a team is hard.
Speaker:It's that church and school and sports and, you know, even shopping and everything, and even social media now.
Speaker:Is separated by age group.
Speaker:And so everything is designed to pull your family into its individual parts.
Speaker:And so now why not just have a look at apartments in your house called bedrooms and just like, you know, everyone's got their own TV, everyone's crushing their own Netflix or Amazon, whatever there is.
Speaker:Yeah, that's right.
Speaker:It's like, and so it's, that's, what's hard about it.
Speaker:It's not, it's not in of itself hard.
Speaker:It's I think that in a lot of ways, once you begin to function like a team, a lot of things get easier.
Speaker:Like it's, it's hard to live life without your team.
Speaker:but it requires some leadership and some coaching you know, to, to be coaching your team.
Speaker:But for sure, the hardness oftentimes comes because, the culture will try to pull your family into its individual parts.
Speaker:And, uh, and so that can be where a lot of these in the scheme of the enemy since forever.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Because back to the Gospel, if, if our families are given to us as this beautiful picture of God, what he's like the kingdom come, then what's the enemy going to attack the image of God in us that, that bond, that connection.
Speaker:So if I can keep isolating and get a selfishness and, or self preference as my.
Speaker:Primary motivating factor.
Speaker:It, it breaks it down.
Speaker:I have to ask a couple of questions cause I, I know, uh, people will ask this, they're going to write in and ask this.
Speaker:I'll tell you in both upfront and then you can answer them.
Speaker:So I don't forget.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:First one's going to be, I would love this, but my spouse is just, they don't have anything to do with it.
Speaker:Or they would have no intention to here or they're too busy or something.
Speaker:So it's going to just be, it's going to have to be me.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:W and then the second one B I would love this, but I think we've waited so long.
Speaker:It's probably too long.
Speaker:Cause my, my teenage kids, I can't even get him to come sit and have a meal with me.
Speaker:How am I ever going to have a life as a family that has joint rhythms and a joint mission and friendships that overlap like crazy.
Speaker:So those are two different questions, but there's some routes that might be the same.
Speaker:And I'm sure you face these questions as you've helped, you know, guide people and coach people as well.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I have a lot of empathy for anyone who feels like, man, I mean, for that spouse, who's resisting.
Speaker:I'm a totally different story of how to do family.
Speaker:That is a very challenging thing to consider.
Speaker:And I think that for a lot of them, it's, it's important that we be really gentle.
Speaker:And sort of bringing this up and in having these conversations.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:One of the things that we've used that has been most helpful, we, you know, with COVID, it's been challenging, but we, we, uh, we do these weekends where we try to just give, uh, couples space to talk about it because, you know, shifting.
Speaker:The vision of your family, of the paradigm, through which you see family is, is really, is really intense.
Speaker:And so you really do need to that that requires a sort of season of learning and considering.
Speaker:And so I would, I would say that, that that's usually when they, when two of you come together around an idea like that, it requires that space and you want to not make it.
Speaker:Feel like an attack, like, you know, an ultimatum, this is, this is a really exciting possibility that, you know, essentially we should consider what are the, what are the, the, the benefits of this?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Embrace this.
Speaker:Yeah, because you have to embrace it before you ever engage it.
Speaker:For sure.
Speaker:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker:And then, and then for anyone who's got older kids, man, there, there is a, there is no time that's too late for this.
Speaker:You can start from wherever you're at.
Speaker:I love talking to grandparents who are.
Speaker:Who have this epiphany and start to think about how grandparenting looks different.
Speaker:When you start to think about your family, like a team this there's not one size fits all.
Speaker:Every family is very different.
Speaker:How every team functions is very different.
Speaker:Your stories are different.
Speaker:These are really about values.
Speaker:and so when you start to prop up the, if you value individualism, For the last 30 years as a family, you see, it's not to say you can't start valuing team.
Speaker:You can.
Speaker:It's just that you have to understand that, that when you bring that value up, it'll probably be like cranking up a dial, like, okay, we're going to, okay, what's something we can do, you know, this year, like, could we do an a, like, you know, could we vacation together?
Speaker:Is there some kind of mission that we can do together?
Speaker:You, you have to start to, woeyour family, as individuals back into the team you oftentimes start by.
Speaker:Doing things like, you know, just repenting to you.
Speaker:Hey guys, I've been really chill, championing the value of individualism.
Speaker:And there's some positive things about the value of individuals, but it's been to the detriment of team.
Speaker:And so like right now, I want to like express to you guys.
Speaker:Like, I really think God God's made us to be a team.
Speaker:I don't know what that's supposed to look like.
Speaker:We can explore that together.
Speaker:And then baby steps from there.
Speaker:And see, see how people function, but if you start to use team language, that's very attractive and exciting too, to your kids.
Speaker:If you don't, if it's not heavy handed or.
Speaker:Guilt trippy or whatever, if, if it's, if it's an invitation into belonging to something bigger and that they're a part of it.
Speaker:Uh, that's exciting.
Speaker:So if you have that spinner, you guys have seen that.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's been our story.
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:Go ahead.
Speaker:I'm sorry.
Speaker:Yeah, People are all looking for a team like they're there at work and they get excited about their workplace.
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:Because it's starting to feel like a team, you know, that they're in their church and they're in a ministry team.
Speaker:They're why they're excited because it's like, it's starting to function like a team, you know?
Speaker:So it's, this is not a value that people need to be convinced of in general.
Speaker:What they don't necessarily understand is that family can be a team.
Speaker:And if they start to see that that's so exciting because all those other things, businesses and ministries, they're much more transitory than family.
Speaker:So why not invest in the team?
Speaker:First of all, that God designed to be a team from the beginning.
Speaker:And secondly, that's that's, you know, is growing those relationships are going to last the longest.
Speaker:And I think people will hear some of these things and go, well, we're going to try a couple of things, but the one thing they'll try one thing and it'll fail.
Speaker:And then they're like, I'm done.
Speaker:And it's like, well, wait a minute.
Speaker:That's, who's that loving?
Speaker:That's loving you.
Speaker:And we tell people You're not pouring cement.
Speaker:Don't get all hung up here.
Speaker:You're not pouring cement, try something, try something new, try, you know, different things.
Speaker:Like we tried to get the kids to do this.
Speaker:They want to do it.
Speaker:And we always start at the table, like start having a meal together.
Speaker:And then, and then guess what start getting where everybody gets to pick the meal like this week, you know, this kid does, and this week dad gets to, and it's like, and you learn to bear with one another and you all going to help him prep.
Speaker:And it's like, well, my kids aren't try it, try it.
Speaker:You'll see it's going to be different than you might think.
Speaker:Well, maybe he likes when they.
Speaker:Yeah, like make it, yeah, like you said, like we, if you, even, if you think about what they want or you, you give them some ownership in the process, what do you guys like to eat?
Speaker:How, what kind of vibe would you like to have at this family meal?
Speaker:would you like to invite people and not invite?
Speaker:Like, how do you want to do this?
Speaker:Let's try different things in the word you can always use if you really want to get buy in.
Speaker:And you think there's a lot of resistance is the word experiment.
Speaker:Hey, would you guys mind if we try this for four weeks or for four times let's do a family meal and then we'll, we'll talk about it.
Speaker:You know, see what we're learning, what we like, what we don't like.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It'll work.
Speaker:It'll they'll be excited.
Speaker:They'll usually be willing to, especially again, if, if you think about like, what would make it exciting for them?
Speaker:And what we found is the natural outgrowth of that.
Speaker:We didn't have to promote all that much when, once our team K family dinner nights were that way where they got to choose and pick and have fun.
Speaker:And we had music cranked and, you know, it was, it was, it was a fun time.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And then we also got to heart level stuff and all that, but once they started loving that, you were like, so I got to get so-and-so over here.
Speaker:Or like, you know, my friend at school and mom and dad are fighting a lot and she's been, you know, telling me and crying.
Speaker:Can we just have her over and like, dad tell her she's beautiful.
Speaker:Like you tell us Everyday.
Speaker:And like, she just needs to hear it.
Speaker:You know, it's like, it wasn't like we had to go like, okay, now let's see.
Speaker:Which of your friends do you think it was like natural.
Speaker:We never, and I would be willing to do that.
Speaker:I would, you know, but we've never had to.
Speaker:And even now with our kids being grown and out of the house and having families guess what, the number one place to bring their friends to still is.
Speaker:Yeah, family.
Speaker:Yeah, that family, we had a similar, yeah, we had a similar experience where about 15 years ago when we really started trying to do a weekly family meal, pretty consistently you know, it was pretty chaotic.
Speaker:We were trying to figure things out.
Speaker:We had little kids at the time and we, we went off on a retreat with, you know, people in our community.
Speaker:And there's about, five or six families.
Speaker:And one of the exercises we said is give us your three biggest milestones spiritually of your whole life.
Speaker:kind of like, let's go deep.
Speaker:And we went around in all five families that were there, said one of their top three milestones was the first time they came to a family meal to prior house.
Speaker:And me and April were shocked.
Speaker:We were like, what?
Speaker:that thing we're trying to figure out, like that was one of your three, top three, a messy, crazy topic to your point.
Speaker:It's like just, I see a family have a rich meaning filled meal where they felt like they belonged, did something to their spirit.
Speaker:And that's one of the times for me when the penny dropped that, Oh my gosh, is this, this is discipleship and evangelism wrapped up in one through the family.
Speaker:this family meal is absolutely critical.
Speaker:You know what weeks I just experienced that like an hour and a half ago.
Speaker:My daughter and my grandson, and grandaughter, they spent the night, last night, they came over for family dinner and not everybody was here.
Speaker:Daniel was on shifts.
Speaker:So we're just gonna spend the night, you know, the dogs are here and the whole thing.
Speaker:And then we've got this pizza night planned tonight kind of pick up the missing pieces of the team.
Speaker:And, uh, she said, but I'm man, I'm super, super kind of feeling fried, not the best.
Speaker:I mean, W maybe I, I don't know, maybe I'll cancel.
Speaker:I said, well, honey, do you, you do you, you know, but it's okay.
Speaker:And then um, she was talking to her husband about that and he said, well, you know, we've got this family staying with us and it wouldn't be so much better if like your folks were over and, you know, sissy over and all that.
Speaker:So like, they're going to be there for dinner anyway, tonight.
Speaker:So better to have more of a family, more of the team at that.
Speaker:That'll be, that'll be a blessing for them.
Speaker:It'll be easier for us the whole thing.
Speaker:So that's their thought line now is they see the family as their greatest asset resource and thing to share.
Speaker:And, and we've, we know these two people, but like kind of arms length, you know what I mean?
Speaker:They're like someone whose kind of, part of the, uh, extended family, part of the oikos, it's his family members that are kind of in a bad spot.
Speaker:So my, my daughter, her husband are helping them out and all that.
Speaker:So, yeah.
Speaker:But yeah, this, this is a must.
Speaker:What do you think would be step one for someone who says, okay, I want to, I want to dip into this, like with my family.
Speaker:What do you think would be the first step?
Speaker:A couple could take toward bringing a greater sense of team and unity and purpose to their family life.
Speaker:Maybe starting, I would say that that creatingcreating that weekly family meal and making it very special to you and just, just whatever sustainable to begin with.
Speaker:So yeah, pizza night, if you have to do like paper plates or whatever you know, maybe a special drink, something that will, if you have little kids and you like add some special drink, they'll ask you every week.
Speaker:Like, are we doing that thing again?
Speaker:You know, so make it sustainable, make it fun.
Speaker:And then, then just iterate on it and improve it over time.
Speaker:So that it becomes more and more of a reflection of the values of your family.
Speaker:And, you know, we do this on, you know, usually in our culture twice a year, Christmas and Thanksgiving, it's a tragedy we're so out of practice that when we get to those meals, they, they're not great because we don't even know each other, but yeah, I hate it.
Speaker:That's right.
Speaker:Come on.
Speaker:What, but, and this is what I learned in, in, uh, in.
Speaker:In the Jewish culture in Israel, it was crazy to watch, you know, 30, 40 year olds, all of them getting on buses or driving to their parent's house, every single Shabbat.
Speaker:And I was like, when I asked, like, how did they stay together?
Speaker:Multi-generationally is because of, they had the Sabbath dinner every single week.
Speaker:And if you start a weekly family meal, you will not be able to stop your family from becoming a multi-generational.
Speaker:And from there.
Speaker:You can begin to insert the team elements because now you start to feel like you belong to something there's a, there's a place in which you experienced your family ness and that's where it starts, starts to ground you in the understanding of the importance of identity.
Speaker:That's right.
Speaker:And as we make disciples, we talk a lot about identity, obviously.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:And I I've been thinking about why has it not been a big problem for our kids and team K and some of our.
Speaker:Now, you know, we're grown up people we've Disciple and their families.
Speaker:Why is there understanding of their Gospel identity?
Speaker:Not been a hard thing to really believe in grasp it's because they were grounded in a family identity.
Speaker:It's like, it's a big deal to be a part of team.
Speaker:K.
Speaker:It really is.
Speaker:People love it.
Speaker:And they get to be called part of that.
Speaker:And as our daughters have gotten married, they were like, I'm not going to be a Kalinowski anymore.
Speaker:Maybe my husband will just take our name, you know, it's like that, but I don't bring that up.
Speaker:They bring it up.
Speaker:But the goal is as great as it is to be team K.
Speaker:What's bigger and better is that you believe your Gospel identity, who God's made us to be a why team K is this way.
Speaker:That's right.
Speaker:So that others can, you can live out of that.
Speaker:And, and I think when you ground your kids in identity and they, they realize there is a team there's people who are for me regardless, I don't have to choose perfectly, make every right life decisions.
Speaker:Sometimes I'm going to screw up.
Speaker:I'm going to make bad choices, all that, but I know there's this core, there's this People, my, my team, my family that are going to love and accept me regardless, and even helped me shoulder.
Speaker:You know, some of the consequence going forward when people come and experience that, that's why they're saying that a prior family dinner night was like one of their big markers in their life.
Speaker:Cause they go, Whoa, we just tasted a little bit of what the kingdom of God is like.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It's not less than that, man.
Speaker:I'm not kidding you.
Speaker:That's where the story to the table.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:We're going to be sitting around a table.
Speaker:That's where we're headed.
Speaker:And that's that's, that's the full expression of the kingdom.
Speaker:So it's like, why, why wait?
Speaker:Let's uh, let's just, we think about every single family meal is rehearsal dinner or rehearsal dinner for that, that banquet of the lamb that we're all looking forward.
Speaker:That's awesome.
Speaker:When you think about the false starts with it, you know what we're eating and then Jesus, when he gives us, you know, the whole new covenant, it said a meal.
Speaker:We can do episodes then that's right.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:We got it.
Speaker:This is so great, man.
Speaker:We got to wrap this up.
Speaker:Uh, unfortunately we always end with giving people the big three takeaways for, you know, for this talk for this topic.
Speaker:And we, we make it it's like, you don't want to miss these three things that we just said, if nothing else, here's a summary.
Speaker:And we always give those to people in a printable download.
Speaker:If they're interested in it, they can just go to Everyday Disciple dot com forward slash.
Speaker:Big 3 big three and boom, we'll send it to you.
Speaker:what do you think, would be the big three from this?
Speaker:What do you think people need to just know about this topic to get started?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So the number one thing I would say in terms of know, is that to know that God designed the family to be a team.
Speaker:That and that if you're anywhere in Western culture, then chances are your family is the design of your families to be a springboard for individual success.
Speaker:But God wants you to have a team.
Speaker:And so that that's going to take a transition.
Speaker:The set, the thing I want you to to believe is that you can start from anywhere like there.
Speaker:It's never too late.
Speaker:You can start from here.
Speaker:It's not, there's so much that God can and wants to do through your family and every generation.
Speaker:Is a step forward.
Speaker:You can't do all of it in one generation.
Speaker:So do what you're called to do in your generation and continue in your family line will continue.
Speaker:And then, and then what to do like we just described, I would say the first thing is to craft that weekly family meal, That's uniquely your family meal, let your kids really put their stamp on it.
Speaker:Make it a, an expression of your family culture, make it a place where you celebrate the goodness of God.
Speaker:And as you do that, that identity will go deeper and deeper.
Speaker:And from there you can launch into all kinds of things.
Speaker:That are kingdom activities for the sake of, the Gospel.
Speaker:Oh man.
Speaker:Really good.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:Super concise.
Speaker:I want to also tell our listeners if they've heard this episode, or maybe they're newer to the podcast.
Speaker:We did a, an episode number 273, a little while back, but you can scroll through and find it how to have amazing family dinner nights.
Speaker:Hmm.
Speaker:And, uh, we, we, we go through that whole thing and just give you some basics and practicalities and encouragement and tips.
Speaker:And then I, if I'm remembering correctly, I think there's even like a link to a free download in that episode and all that.
Speaker:So you could just Google that or go into your Podcast world and just look how to have amazing family dinner nights.
Speaker:It was episode two 73, so you can kind of.
Speaker:Scroll back and figure that out.
Speaker:Well, Jeremy, thank you so much for being here.
Speaker:This has been amazing.
Speaker:This has been amazing.
Speaker:I knew it would be super fun and I, I wish it was like super longer.
Speaker:Cause there's a lot of stuff I want to ask you about, but like, I kind of tip my hand at the beginning.
Speaker:I plan to have you back.
Speaker:There's just too many, too much overlap and too much wisdom that I want to mine for gold.
Speaker:an act like I thought I don't myself.
Speaker:No, just kidding.
Speaker:Well, thanks Caesar.
Speaker:We so appreciate you and Tina and how much you guys have invested in us.
Speaker:Oh, man, it's a blessing.
Speaker:I think this has all been God's design, All right, man, I'll talk to you soon.
Speaker:Thank you.
Speaker:Thank you.
Speaker:Well, I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did getting to talk with Jeremy about all of that.
Speaker:I could have gone for hours and hours with him.
Speaker:He is seriously a brother from another mother, for sure.
Speaker:And I'm excited for the journey to continue where our families are getting to know each other through the coaching and what we're learning from each other.
Speaker:There's so much more.
Speaker:I will definitely be having him back on the show again.
Speaker:I am certain that you are encouraged and excited and probably upping your longing to live the life that we're hearing about and having our kids as part of things.
Speaker:And even as they're growing up and they've taken it even further than us, where they actually do their economic aspect of their family team together, I've always kind of long for it that my kids might be involved in business with us.
Speaker:Two of my.
Speaker:Kids were they, they worked at a restaurant.
Speaker:We owned for years, but now as adults they've gone off into different careers, I still have a little secret longing that we might get a little team K business going together at some point.
Speaker:But right now, they're all happy.
Speaker:And so are we, but we get to do with the rest of the life together, just not our jobs or whatever, if you're interested in learning more about how to do this and get your own family live in more on mission and wherever you're starting from, wherever you're starting from is yeah.
Speaker:Good.
Speaker:And you want to move more towards discipleship and mission as a family and how you can start living more in the ways that Jeremy and I talked about today.
Speaker:I love to tell you more about the coaching that Tina and I offer.
Speaker:That's a big part of what we do because that's the basis.
Speaker:That's where we have to start as living as a family on mission and outward to include more and more people and build out communities and then multiply leaders and all that.
Speaker:And I'd love to set up a short zoom call to get to know you better and get to hear your story and answer any questions you have and tell you all about our coaching.
Speaker:If you're interested, go to Everyday Disciple dot com forward slash coaching.
Speaker:Everyday Disciple dot com forward slash coaching.
Speaker:There's a lot more information there and a little form you can fill out so I can know a little bit about you and then we'll get in a zoom call put together and yeah.
Speaker:Get in touch.
Speaker:All right, join us next week.
Speaker:I'm going to be digging into something pretty sensitive.
Speaker:In my own life's journey.
Speaker:As we talk about living with a scarcity mentality, I've always felt that I inherited that from parents that were born into the great depression and the grandparents that lived through it and all that.
Speaker:But we're going to go pretty deep into that's really all about the thing behind the thing and how the Gospel and bleeding our true identity can lead us out of a material of living with a scarcity mentality that color so much of life in our work and all that.
Speaker:It's pretty heavy stuff.
Speaker:It's important stuff.
Speaker:Maybe you can relate.
Speaker:Well, I can't wait.
Speaker:i'll talk to you soon.
Speaker:Thanks for joining us today.
Speaker:For more information on this show and to get loads of free discipleship resources, visit Everyday Disciple dot com.