Advent Week 4: We Can Experience Love Because God is Gracious
A recent survey asked, “If you could say in one word what you want more of in life, what would that be?” Very surprisingly, LOVE didn’t even make the top 10! Could it be that money and fleeting happiness have replaced the need for love in our lives?
In this episode of the Everyday Disciple Podcast, Caesar concludes the Advent Series as he talks about the truth that because God is gracious, we can experience love in the deepest ways.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- The final look at 4 eternal truths about God that transform us. (The 4 G’s)
- Why we don’t know or understand true love in our lives and relationships.
- How we no longer have to perform for God, and why we don’t get to.
- Why it’s important to understand what we actually deserve from God.
From this episode:
“When we don’t believe we have God’s grace, we try to prove ourselves to other people. I want other people to be impressed by me. We may want to fit in or get other people’s approval. I want to earn their love. And we certainly don’t want other people finding out what we’re like inside. We wear masks to hide our real selves from people. Wearing the mask can be a great strain: it’s like acting a role all the time. But we dare not let other people see us as we really are.”
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Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Coaching with Caesar and Tina in discipleship and missional living.
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Transcript
When we don't believe we have God's grace, we try to prove ourselves to others, to other people.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want other people to be impressed by me.
Caesar Kalinowski:We, we might want to fit in or get other people's approval.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want to earn their love.
Caesar Kalinowski:And we certainly don't want other people finding out what we're like inside, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like the true me, what I was thinking, what I really, Want or desire or thought about you or that person or your performance.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we wear masks to hide our real selves from people.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wearing that mask though can be pretty heavy.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's a like, it gets, it gets hard.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like acting all the time, like you have this role to play, but all the time.
Caesar Kalinowski:'cause we dare not let other people see who we really are.
Caesar Kalinowski:And ultimately this backfires.
Caesar Kalinowski:It doesn't work because deep down in, I think and believe that the thing about me.
Heath Hollensbe:Welcome to the Everyday Disciple Podcast, where you'll learn how to live with greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits into every area of life.
Heath Hollensbe:In other words, discipleship as a lifestyle.
Heath Hollensbe:This is the stuff your parents, pastors, and seminary professors probably forgot to tell you.
Heath Hollensbe:And now, here's your host, Caesar Kalinowski.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, welcome indeed.
Caesar Kalinowski:Good to be with you.
Caesar Kalinowski:How's it going for your holiday prep?
Caesar Kalinowski:We're
Caesar Kalinowski:just about there.
Caesar Kalinowski:I think we've just about got all the preparations, , sorted out.
Caesar Kalinowski:We don't usually wrap stuff till kind of late, but I don't know.
Caesar Kalinowski:We've been dialing up some of our favorite holiday films again this year, which is always kind of fun.
Caesar Kalinowski:I think it does help us kind of, you know, kind of get our hearts back in the focus and just, you know, I know for me, it reminds me of so much when my kids were a little bit younger because some of these movies became that for us.
Caesar Kalinowski:What's your favorite?
Caesar Kalinowski:holiday or Christmas movie.
Caesar Kalinowski:Ours would have to be, and I think I've mentioned this on the podcast before, ours would undoubtedly have to be that movie called A Christmas Story.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, the one where Ralphie wants a BB gun and his mom and his teachers are telling him he's gonna shoot his eye out.
Caesar Kalinowski:We watch that almost every single Christmas Eve for like forever, you know, and this year I have reconnected with Home Alone and I'm understanding That that's a lot of people's favorite Christmas movie I watched a documentary recently on the making of that movie and it made me even love the movie a little bit more So anyway, I hope you guys are having a good week a good holiday prep The whole season is kind of great and magical and I think maybe it's a good diversion from just being stuck at home But now it's stuck at home with a purpose.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yay, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Before we get going, I want to just invite you again to join us on Facebook.
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Caesar Kalinowski:And that's how you can interact directly with myself and Tina and others in the community as well.
Caesar Kalinowski:Alright, I hope that you've been enjoying our advent celebration on the podcast these last several weeks.
Caesar Kalinowski:We've been taking a look at the traditional advent.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like sort of heart movements of hope, peace, joy, and love through the lens of the four G's, these four life changing truths about God that will speak into our lives, not only in this season, but every day I've shared with you before we've talked about them, but now we're kind of looking at Advent and all these themes through those lenses.
Caesar Kalinowski:So three episodes back, we looked at, we have hope because God is great.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, if you didn't hear that, go back and check it out for sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, two weeks back, we, we looked at, we live with peace because God is glorious.
Caesar Kalinowski:He's the most glorious one.
Caesar Kalinowski:He loves us completely so we can finally live at peace.
Caesar Kalinowski:Last week, we talked about God and his goodness.
Caesar Kalinowski:God always does what is good, right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And perfect.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we can actually find joy and satisfaction in our lives.
Caesar Kalinowski:So if you missed any of the series, I want to encourage you to go back, check them out.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right, now today, week four, as we're wrapping up this Advent series, we're going to talk about how God is gracious.
Caesar Kalinowski:There's another G, the fourth of the G's, so we can experience love in the deepest of ways.
Caesar Kalinowski:God is gracious, so we don't have to prove ourselves, and we can experience love in the deepest of ways.
Caesar Kalinowski:I recently read an article in Forbes magazine outlining the results of a reader survey that they conducted and the key question the survey probed was this they asked this, if you could say in one word what you want more of in life, what would it be?
Caesar Kalinowski:and before I kind of give you the results just think about that for a second if you could say in one word what you want more of in life What would that be?
Caesar Kalinowski:And I know like our, you know, we can give the sort of Christian churchy answers or whatever, but, you know, really deep down in all the things that God provides and all that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:But so here's what in their survey, number one, people listed happiness and they said, the biggest challenge is not knowing what I want to do.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now, if you are a regular listener to the show, you know we talk a lot about this do to be distortion.
Caesar Kalinowski:But, out of like lots of people, worldwide, number one was happiness.
Caesar Kalinowski:With their challenge, they felt like, I guess, to achieving this is not knowing what I want to do.
Caesar Kalinowski:Number two, you want to take a guess?
Caesar Kalinowski:Number two was money.
Caesar Kalinowski:If you could say in one word what you want more of in your life, money, they said.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the biggest challenge connected to that is not having enough money to do the things I want to do.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now, I was surprised at this because universally, it seems, for decades or maybe centuries, the question of what do you want more of or most in your life was pretty consistently answered.
Caesar Kalinowski:Love to be loved and to give love certainly all of our pop music and lots of movie themes go there, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:But apparently not so much anymore according to this Forbes survey Which by the way, they listed their top eight responses that came in love Didn't even make the list like how's that possible?
Caesar Kalinowski:And I wonder why that is today And maybe it's really been longer than, you know, than we thought and we just kind of give the right answer I need to say love, but I wonder why that is today when asked what we truly want more of in life I think we all have been conditioned to say love but in this anonymous survey love doesn't even make the list I think it's because that apart from God's grace and his perfect love, we really cannot experience true love in our lives for ourselves and with others.
Caesar Kalinowski:Let me say that again.
Caesar Kalinowski:Apart from God's grace, his unmerited favor, just upon, you know, favor, grace upon grace and his perfect love.
Caesar Kalinowski:Express to us.
Caesar Kalinowski:We really cannot experience true love in our lives.
Caesar Kalinowski:We don't even know what it is.
Caesar Kalinowski:And our remaining G in this Advent series, looking through the lens of the four G's, right, that I learned from my friend Tim Chester is God is great, so we don't have to prove ourselves or earn love, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Kind of said that at the top of the, top of the episode here.
Caesar Kalinowski:God is great, so we don't have to prove ourselves or earn anything, including love.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because God is gracious, we can experience love in the deepest ways.
Caesar Kalinowski:Without knowing, receiving, and experiencing God's grace, I really believe we don't know or understand true love, what it is.
Caesar Kalinowski:As always, to really get a good look at all this, we're going to need to go back to the beginning of the story, the story of God.
Caesar Kalinowski:Before anything was made by God, God existed, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:That's what the Bible teaches.
Caesar Kalinowski:Three in one, God existed.
Caesar Kalinowski:The Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit enjoyed perfect communion, perfect connection, perfect love in their unity.
Caesar Kalinowski:There was perfect goodness, justice, and love within the Trinity.
Caesar Kalinowski:No need for writing wrongs.
Caesar Kalinowski:They didn't exist.
Caesar Kalinowski:No need to fight for what was right.
Caesar Kalinowski:There was no poverty or lack, no need, nothing incomplete.
Caesar Kalinowski:Within the Trinity, there exists all sovereignty, all peace, all joy, all love, perfect love.
Caesar Kalinowski:And God was and is and will always be love.
Caesar Kalinowski:And in love, God created us humans.
Caesar Kalinowski:Both male and female, in His own image, the Bible teaches, to be like Him.
Caesar Kalinowski:And to be truly made in God's image, humans had to be free.
Caesar Kalinowski:God created humans with the ability to choose.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Not some sort of robots, not some transactional.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'll do this so you do that, Minion, but created with the ability to choose relationships, choose love, receive love, and to love God and each other as humans in return.
Caesar Kalinowski:The Bible says that daily God would come and spend time with the humans, walking with them in the cool of the day, and he showed them how to live in the best possible way, a life lived close to God and under his protection, a life that is full and complete.
Caesar Kalinowski:Simply put, God shared with humanity, and that's you and I, what he enjoyed in the unity of the Trinity.
Caesar Kalinowski:God told these first humans to be fruitful and multiply.
Caesar Kalinowski:Go fill the earth with what God is like, with what I'm like, with His love, with His glory.
Caesar Kalinowski:But, you know how this story of Adam and Eve and every human being ever since goes.
Caesar Kalinowski:Adam and Eve chose to believe a lie about God.
Caesar Kalinowski:Distrusted God and sought to create a self apart from Him.
Caesar Kalinowski:A life that would end up being about their own glory, our own glory.
Caesar Kalinowski:A life that required them to earn a hard living, to prove themselves at every turn.
Caesar Kalinowski:It was a life that was filled with shame and blame.
Caesar Kalinowski:It was a life that killed them.
Caesar Kalinowski:And today it's no different when, when we choose self apart from God, we also choose death and separation.
Caesar Kalinowski:We choose a life where we no longer know and receive true love in the way God always intended for us.
Caesar Kalinowski:And this is actually all part of the story of Christmas.
Caesar Kalinowski:Before the manger, before the wise men, before the virgin.
Caesar Kalinowski:After thousands of years of humanity rejecting God and his perfect love, striving to prove our value, our worth, hiding, blaming, wars, injustice, a baby arrives.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I want to ask you, what was it that motivated God to send his only son, Jesus, to this earth?
Caesar Kalinowski:What do you think?
Caesar Kalinowski:What was his ultimate motivation?
Caesar Kalinowski:It wasn't his power and greatness.
Caesar Kalinowski:It wasn't his joy, the joy that God experienced within himself, as in the Trinity, that caused this.
Caesar Kalinowski:It wasn't peace that motivated him, it was his love.
Caesar Kalinowski:His pursuing love, embracing love, a perfect love that only the grace of God offers.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay, so back to the 4G statement again.
Caesar Kalinowski:God is gracious.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we don't have to prove ourselves or earn love.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now, the guy I learned this from, Tim Chester, awesome author, just check out any of his stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:He says there are three ways we try and prove ourselves when we don't believe that God is gracious.
Caesar Kalinowski:First, we try to prove, I try to prove myself to myself.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:When I mess up, I often hear things like in the back of my head, like you idiot, you stupid, or you suck, you're a failure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's all running through my mind, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:As a husband, as a father, I've realized that my biggest fear is letting myself down.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I say, husband and father could say, Pastor, as a coach, as a writer, as an author, my biggest fear is letting myself down.
Caesar Kalinowski:My ego takes a really serious hit when I mess up, and I know it.
Caesar Kalinowski:And often, the biggest sense of letdown is having to face myself in the mirror.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that means that I'm really the most offended party when I mess up, when I sin.
Caesar Kalinowski:Do you hear how offensive that must be to God?
Caesar Kalinowski:I have a huge desire to prove myself to myself.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want to feel good about myself.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want my own approval.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want to love myself based on my performance, based on my accomplishments.
Caesar Kalinowski:So I feel a sense of peace and self love only when I'm performing at an acceptable level, according to my standards of perfection.
Caesar Kalinowski:Do you hear the do to be in that?
Caesar Kalinowski:There's, there's no loving ourselves in light of that.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm just trying to prove myself.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm trying to prove myself that I'm not just a bum.
Caesar Kalinowski:There's this old line in, in, I think maybe the first Rocky movie.
Caesar Kalinowski:So way back, right, where he's just, you know, he's just getting beat up and his coach says, why are you doing this rock?
Caesar Kalinowski:And he's like, I'm just trying to prove to myself I'm not a bum, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:He was trying to prove to himself he had value.
Caesar Kalinowski:And he was willing to go through anything to prove that to himself.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now, the second thing, when we don't believe we have God's grace, we try to prove ourselves to others, to other people.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want other people to be impressed by me.
Caesar Kalinowski:We, we might want to fit in or get other people's approval.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want to earn their love.
Caesar Kalinowski:And we certainly don't want other people finding out what we're like inside, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like the true me, what I was thinking, what I really want or desire or thought about you or that person or your performance.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we wear masks to hide our real selves from people.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wearing that mask, though, can be pretty heavy.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, it gets, it gets hard.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like acting all the time.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like you have this role to play, but all the time.
Caesar Kalinowski:Cause we dare not let other people see who we really are.
Caesar Kalinowski:And ultimately this backfires.
Caesar Kalinowski:It doesn't work because deep down in I think and believe that the thing about me that you really love or accept isn't really me, it's the mask I'm wearing.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, it's this mask I've been showing you.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or the performance or job that I've been doing.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's what they love, not the real me, so I'm left feeling more of a fraud and more empty and unloved than ever.
Caesar Kalinowski:So what's that produce?
Caesar Kalinowski:I dance a little faster, I secure my mask a little tighter.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm not able to experience true love when everything is based on masks and performance, is it?
Caesar Kalinowski:I can't have that type of relationship with others.
Caesar Kalinowski:If I'm really just dancing, trying to sort of manipulate you into responding a certain way.
Caesar Kalinowski:And all I'm showing you is a performance or a mask.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's, it's, it's deep.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's kind of sick, isn't it?
Caesar Kalinowski:Now one of the problems with trying to prove yourself to other people and earn their love is that it means that They are kind of setting the standard.
Caesar Kalinowski:See, when I'm trying to prove myself to myself, then I'm setting that standard right due to B.
Caesar Kalinowski:I got, oh, here, I'm happy if I'm hitting a certain bar, but when I'm trying to prove myself to others, now I come under the tyranny that they get to set the standard and their standards may be ungodly.
Caesar Kalinowski:But, uh, you, you adopt their behavior to fit in, you know, a little bit here, a little on the edges, even though you're a believer, you're a Christ, Christ follower.
Caesar Kalinowski:On the other side, their standards might be godly, but you're living in obedience to other people, rather than obedience to the Spirit, to God.
Caesar Kalinowski:And often what happens is that you settle for living like other people.
Caesar Kalinowski:which is always going to fall way short of living and loving like Jesus.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or, this is another thing that can happen, is you measure yourself against other people and you decide you're more righteous.
Caesar Kalinowski:Indeed, we often point the finger at other people's faults so we can feel better about ourselves.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's sort of the icky other side of that coin.
Caesar Kalinowski:Author Richard Lovelace, he says this, he claims, Christians who are no longer sure that God loves and accepts them, In Jesus, apart from their present spiritual achievements, they're subconsciously radically insecure persons.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow, ouch.
Caesar Kalinowski:And he goes on, he says, their security shows itself in pride, fierce defensive assertion of their own righteousness, and really defensive criticism of others.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, this is, this, you know, I'm criticizing and I'm gonna prove it, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:That's why they're wrong and I'm right.
Caesar Kalinowski:They cling, he says, desperately to legal, fair, sacral righteousness, but envy, jealousy, and other branches of the tree of sin grow out of their fundamental insecurity.
Caesar Kalinowski:If we don't believe that God is gracious, that we have his unmerited favor and love.
Caesar Kalinowski:sort of then all these things start to become true of us.
Caesar Kalinowski:Here are some indicators in life that that someone doesn't truly believe God is gracious.
Caesar Kalinowski:Maybe you hear some of this in yourself I don't know.
Caesar Kalinowski:One is they take criticism and failure badly.
Caesar Kalinowski:See if I'm working real hard and I feel like my performance and my mask is up to snuff and you should sort of salute that and dig it and then you know you've got some feedback that I don't like, criticism, then I'm gonna take it badly or if I fail or you point out I failed, Mm mm.
Caesar Kalinowski:Not having it.
Caesar Kalinowski:See, because you're poking my idol.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're poking my God.
Caesar Kalinowski:Me.
Caesar Kalinowski:Ouch.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, people who don't believe that God's gracious often find it hard to relax.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because there's more to do to be in your eyes.
Caesar Kalinowski:Can't relax.
Caesar Kalinowski:Gotta always be, keep busy.
Caesar Kalinowski:Gotta keep busy.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, here's another one.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, they're proud.
Caesar Kalinowski:They envy the success of others.
Caesar Kalinowski:See, it's two sides of the same coin.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm like, I'm really proud of my achievements.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or when I see someone else's, I'm like, hey.
Caesar Kalinowski:I envy that, like, and I probably deserve that, not them.
Caesar Kalinowski:And often, people who don't truly believe God is gracious and they already have his love, they make others feel guilty for not working or performing as hard as they are in whatever it is.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, you can hear in this how apart from God's grace and love, we don't really experience love, do we?
Caesar Kalinowski:We're just on this treadmill trying to prove ourselves, trying to earn.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now the third thing that happens when we don't believe we have God's grace is we try to prove ourselves to God and earn his love.
Caesar Kalinowski:Just to review, the first one, we try to prove ourselves to ourselves.
Caesar Kalinowski:If we don't believe God's gracious, we try to prove ourselves to others and ultimately, when we don't believe we have God's grace, we try to prove ourselves to God.
Caesar Kalinowski:Try to earn his love.
Caesar Kalinowski:We want to do something so God will be impressed with us, or so that God will bless us in some way.
Caesar Kalinowski:Something we're praying for or wanting, or so that God will save us ultimately.
Caesar Kalinowski:And this instinct to sort of self atone runs deep in our hearts.
Caesar Kalinowski:It just does.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like that's our do to be distortion.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's the, it's the sinful core of our heart.
Caesar Kalinowski:The grace of God is simple to understand, but it's hard to grasp.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's not the complexity that makes it difficult.
Caesar Kalinowski:The problem is we're kind of hardwired to think we got to do something to make God look and act favorably towards us, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:That there's that do to be thing again.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's because also deep down, I want to take the credit.
Caesar Kalinowski:See, if I do this, then God kind of owes me.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's what we kind of secretly think.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the problem is that much of the time, we really do believe we do deserve things.
Caesar Kalinowski:We believe we've earned those things.
Caesar Kalinowski:We have proven that.
Caesar Kalinowski:God, you're going to have to give me this blessing in my life.
Caesar Kalinowski:This raise, this house, my kids turn out a certain way.
Caesar Kalinowski:My marriage gets sorted out.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or, you know, I have the love I've always desired.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or I want to be married.
Caesar Kalinowski:God, look it, I've been going to church like crazy, setting up chairs forever.
Caesar Kalinowski:Shouldn't I get a spouse?
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:We believe we've earned things from God, that God's somehow obligated to provide for us.
Caesar Kalinowski:We believe we're entitled to things, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, entitlement kind of creeps in.
Caesar Kalinowski:Check this out in Deuteronomy 8, verse 17 and 18.
Caesar Kalinowski:It says,
Caesar Kalinowski:For it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so he confirms his covenant.
Caesar Kalinowski:What was the covenant?
Caesar Kalinowski:I will always be your God, and you'll always be my people.
Caesar Kalinowski:There's no due to be in it.
Caesar Kalinowski:He confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, and it's the same today.
Caesar Kalinowski:See, God is saying don't believe you've earned anything.
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't believe that you deserve it.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's all grace.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's all a gift from my hand.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's all because of my love for you.
Caesar Kalinowski:In all of the things that I provide, Remember me.
Caesar Kalinowski:Remember I'm gracious.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's unmerited.
Caesar Kalinowski:You didn't earn it.
Caesar Kalinowski:I gave it to you before the foundations of the earth were laid.
Caesar Kalinowski:I knew you and I knew I wanted to bless you and prosper you, ultimately in Christ.
Caesar Kalinowski:But see, we're prone to forget that, aren't we?
Caesar Kalinowski:We forget that everything we have is a gift from God.
Caesar Kalinowski:We forget that our standing before Him, our righteousness, our desire for even good things, could come from Him, not from us.
Caesar Kalinowski:Our sinful nature wants to earn everything, though.
Caesar Kalinowski:I can, I can tell you that's how it is for me.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want to earn everything I get, because then I can take credit for it.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's just pride, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:And if I earn things from God, then I'm really in control.
Caesar Kalinowski:Heh, yeah, I like that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Would you rather be, uh, the one who is in debt in your life, or the one who holds that debt?
Caesar Kalinowski:See, and we do that with God.
Caesar Kalinowski:We maybe don't, are not super aware of it, but it runs deep in our heart.
Caesar Kalinowski:But because God is gracious, he's already shown us unmerited favor and love.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then, so because of that, not only do we not have to perform, the truth is we don't get to perform.
Caesar Kalinowski:He sees past all that.
Caesar Kalinowski:You can't earn something you already have, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:If we have unmerited favor, like, to the point of the cross, to all things, authority and privilege now is ours in Christ, then we can't earn something that's ours.
Caesar Kalinowski:God's not impressed with the hard work and effort we put in trying to gain his approval.
Caesar Kalinowski:In fact, the only thing we earn from those efforts, the only thing we truly deserve, is separation from God, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:The Bible says that our own efforts to be right before God, our efforts to earn the favor of God, are like filthy, bloody rags.
Caesar Kalinowski:See, the truth is, we actually do deserve something in our life from our sin and self rule, and that's death, that's separation.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Romans 6, 3, the wages of sin, unbelief, are death.
Caesar Kalinowski:And unless we, unless we understand what we ultimately deserve from God, then the gift of God's Son, Jesus, which we're celebrating this week, and this season, and at Christmas.
Caesar Kalinowski:Unless we understand what we ultimately deserve, death, then the gift of Jesus is not that great to us.
Caesar Kalinowski:If we don't need someone to satisfy the righteous wrath of God on our behalf, if we can earn the favor of God If we don't need a Savior, a Rescuer, then God giving us His Son is just a nice thought.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, Merry Christmas.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we gotta sit in the reality of our need before we can really understand the greatness of God's grace and His love.
Caesar Kalinowski:Do you remember the, what we call the prodigal son story?
Caesar Kalinowski:You remember that?
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, there's the stories about the father.
Caesar Kalinowski:It says there was a father who had two sons and the younger son.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm not going to get deep into it because you've all heard it a lot of times.
Caesar Kalinowski:The younger son goes to his father and says, Hey, I kind of want my inheritance.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now, kind of like saying, I wish you were dead.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the father gives him his inheritance and he goes off to a faraway land.
Caesar Kalinowski:Scripture says, and he squanders it all on unrighteous living.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:But, eventually, he kinda hits rock bottom, and, and his mind and his heart turns back to his father.
Caesar Kalinowski:And he realizes, like, I don't, I don't deserve anything, I don't deserve to be his son, but maybe at least he would show me enough grace to let me work for him so I don't just starve to death?
Caesar Kalinowski:And we see in that story the younger son comes back to the father, before he can even say any of that, the father runs out, jumps off the porch, runs down the road, throws his arms around him in tears, puts new clothes on him because he's filthy and ragged, puts the ring, his family, you know, inheritance ring back on him, like, hey, like, I know you squandered your other half, here, boom, here's more, and that younger son experiences true love Not based on his bad performance, but based on his father's grace and his father's love for his son.
Caesar Kalinowski:But there's two sons, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:The older brother, he ends up hearing, hey, father's throwing this big party.
Caesar Kalinowski:What's going on?
Caesar Kalinowski:What's, what's all the commotion?
Caesar Kalinowski:And the older brother comes in from the fields and he starts mounting this big case for himself, trying to prove to his father that he's the better son, that he has earned his father's love and approval.
Caesar Kalinowski:And his father is like, I've already given it to you.
Caesar Kalinowski:There's nothing to earn.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's all, everything I have is yours.
Caesar Kalinowski:And how does that story end?
Caesar Kalinowski:That older brother ends up outside the celebration, outside of grace, outside of experiencing the amazing, unconditional, unmerited love of his father.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, which of those two sons do you most relate to?
Caesar Kalinowski:The one who understands I can't earn anything and I don't deserve anything.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then the father just blows your mind again with his unmerited love and favor or.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or, are you kind of into your religion and clinging to knowledge and the fact that, oh, I said this certain type of prayer many, many years ago, you owe me this now, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Even though scripture doesn't teach that, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Or my church attendance, or look how long I've been in ministry, or pastoring, or look what I do for people, or how much I give, you know, in the offering, or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:See, that, that, we, we're not experiencing grace, we're thinking secretly we've earned and we deserve.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're that older brother.
Caesar Kalinowski:The author J.
Caesar Kalinowski:I.
Caesar Kalinowski:Packer, maybe you've heard of him, in his classic book and super love book called Knowing God, he says this, he goes, There's a tremendous relief in knowing that God's love to me is utterly realistic, based at every point on prior knowledge of the worst about me.
Caesar Kalinowski:He's saying there's relief in that.
Caesar Kalinowski:So that no discovery can disillusion him about me in the way I'm so often disillusioned about myself.
Caesar Kalinowski:and quench his determination to bless me.
Caesar Kalinowski:Kind of sums up everything we've said today.
Caesar Kalinowski:He goes on, he says, There is certainly great cause for humility in the thought that he sees all the twisted things about me that my fellow men do not see, and that he sees more corruption in me than that which I see in myself.
Caesar Kalinowski:There is, however, equally great incentive to worship and love God in the thought that for some unfathomable reason he wants me as his friend.
Caesar Kalinowski:As his child, he desires me to be a friend and has given his son to die for me in order to realize this purpose.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow, that's so well stated.
Caesar Kalinowski:Out of God's grace completely knowing us, out of his love knowing full well who we are, what we do, and how far we fall short of his glory, we can know and experience his love.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's the only way we'll really truly know.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then give love.
Caesar Kalinowski:I love this verse, John 1 16.
Caesar Kalinowski:I was just reading it this morning and this is in the passion version.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's a, it's a newer translation of scripture, but at times it's, it's really grabs my heart.
Caesar Kalinowski:It says, And now out of his fullness, we are fulfilled.
Caesar Kalinowski:And from him, we receive grace heaped upon more grace.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, God is gracious, so we don't have to prove ourselves or earn anything.
Caesar Kalinowski:Because of His grace, we can experience love in the deepest ways now.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, that is such good news.
Caesar Kalinowski:I hope that's good news to you.
Caesar Kalinowski:And maybe much of this you know, but it's just a reminder to our hearts all four of these weeks.
Caesar Kalinowski:I hope you'll believe that God is gracious, so you don't have to prove yourself.
Caesar Kalinowski:or earn anything from him.
Caesar Kalinowski:You have his love.
Caesar Kalinowski:You have it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right.
Caesar Kalinowski:I sure need to hear that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like we do every week.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want to leave you with the big three takeaways from today's talk.
Caesar Kalinowski:And if nothing else, you don't want to miss these.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, um, by the way, as always, you can get a printable PDF of this week's big three kind of written out for you as a free download by going to everydaydisciple.
Caesar Kalinowski:com forward slash big three, B I G the number three.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right, so maybe if you're driving or you're at the gym or whatever, walk in or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, here's the big three.
Caesar Kalinowski:First, when we don't believe that God's truly gracious, We try to prove ourselves to ourselves, and we really can't feel good about ourselves until we've put some distance between us and our last big sin.
Caesar Kalinowski:We try to prove ourselves to others, so we end up wearing masks to hide our real selves from people, and ultimately try to prove ourselves to God.
Caesar Kalinowski:We think we must do something to make God look and act favorably towards us, because deep down, Inside.
Caesar Kalinowski:We want to take the credit.
Caesar Kalinowski:If I do this, then God owes me.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't miss those.
Caesar Kalinowski:Those are the three ways.
Caesar Kalinowski:Is the Spirit of God touching any part of your heart in any of those three?
Caesar Kalinowski:Maybe all three?
Caesar Kalinowski:Second, unless we understand what we deserve to get from God, then the gift of God's Son, Jesus coming every Christmas, His life, death, and resurrection won't seem that
Heath Hollensbe:great.
Caesar Kalinowski:unless we deserve what we, you know, understand what we deserved.
Heath Hollensbe:Then the gift of God's
Caesar Kalinowski:someone won't seem that great.
Caesar Kalinowski:If we don't need someone to satisfy the righteous wrath of God on our behalf.
Caesar Kalinowski:If we can earn God's favor by what we do, if we don't need a savior, well then
Heath Hollensbe:The gift of his
Caesar Kalinowski:son is just a nice thought.
Caesar Kalinowski:We need to sit in the reality of our need before we can understand the greatness of his grace and fully experience the magnitude of his love for us.
Caesar Kalinowski:And third, um, just what I ended up with there, that picture of the prodigal son from Luke 15, it's such a beautiful picture of our heavenly father's love and grace towards us.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that was a parable about a father that's really, Pitch of God and His love for us.
Caesar Kalinowski:When you contemplate this parable, which of the two sons do you believe best sums up your relationship with God?
Caesar Kalinowski:And don't worry if you're a sister that's, it's all works the same way.
Caesar Kalinowski:See, he doesn't owe you a thing, but you know, you can always return home to him in confidence, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:That's the younger son.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or are you more like the older brother who secretly or not so secretly, believes that you're a pretty good person and you've earned your father's love.
Caesar Kalinowski:He owes me.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want you to contemplate that.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want you to pray through that.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then really begin to grasp the reality that God is gracious.
Caesar Kalinowski:You don't have to prove or earn.
Caesar Kalinowski:You can really experience his love because you have it already.
Caesar Kalinowski:Apart from any proving or earning.
Caesar Kalinowski:Alright, wow, that's been heavy.
Caesar Kalinowski:I hope you've enjoyed this four part series in Advent.
Caesar Kalinowski:I hope it's been good for you.
Caesar Kalinowski:that's about all the time we've got today.
Caesar Kalinowski:I've run a little bit late.
Caesar Kalinowski:I hope you'll join us again next week because we're going to keep diving into discipleship and mission and gospel fluency, and hopefully helping make this all a whole lot easier for you in your everyday life.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'll talk
Caesar Kalinowski:to you soon.
Heath Hollensbe:Thanks for joining us today.
Heath Hollensbe:For more information on this show and to get loads of free discipleship resources, visit everyday disciple.com and remember, you really can live with a spiritual freedom and relational peace that Jesus promised every day.